Hoopla!

Episode 1: In which Hoopla is returned to its right and proper place in the universe and much rejoicing is done

2009-04-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to...

um...

Hello???

Right. Well, first of all I suppose I should apologize for the extended hiatus... there was a time, many moons ago, when I used to do this as a weekly thing.

That time has clearly passed.

These days most of my time is being taken up with my teaching job, which I absolutely love, working on an article on Private Governance that I hope to get published later this year, and planning my wedding to the lovely Miss Mie Nakanishi, which will take place on the 4th of July this year.

And, of course, reading comics.

I think at this point the most I can realistically quasi-promise is a monthly column discussing the new solicitations as they come out and, perhaps, the occasional extra-special-bonus column when I happen to be in the mood.

It's not much, I know, but it's really all that seems likely to work right now.

So, let's get right to it, shall we?

Today's column is looking at books coming out in June 2009... as always, I'll be focusing primarily on Marvel and DC titles, because that's mostly what I read. Implicit in this admissionof guilt is the fact that I am single-handedly responsible for the decline of Western Civilization because I don't read a lot of indie/underground titles which are undoubtedly brilliant but which, to be honest, I have almost no interest at all in reading. Occasionally one does pop up that really grabs me... Love and Rockets, Sudden Gravity, Lords of Misrule, Shuck, Strangehaven, and so on... but I am pretty traditional in my tastes and that's the sad truth about that.

In keeping with what has been a monthly tradition for almost four years, DC has a bunch of crap coming out in June and then a handful of really good books that somehow snuck past Dan Didio's grubby little fingers...

Let's take a look...

BATMAN AND ROBIN #1

Written by Grant Morrison

Art and cover by Frank Quitely

"Batman Reborn" begins here! With the reunited team of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely (ALL-STAR SUPERMAN, WE3, New X-Men), this first issue kicks off a 3-part story arc that can't be missed! The new Dynamic Duo hit the streets with a bang in their new flying Batmobile as they face off against an assemblage of villains called the Circus of Strange. They also tackle their first mission investigating a child who’s been abducted by the mysterious Domino Killer. But will everything go smoothly? And who exactly are the new Batman and Robin? The newest era of The Dark Knight begins here! On sale June 3 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely on Batman and Robin. Hm. It is truly a sign of how little faith I have in DC's in-continuity titles these days that I honestly can't decide whether or not to get this.

Grant Morrison's previous issues of Batman have really not been my cup of tea. And the whole "Batman R.I.P." storyline... ugh. Just thinking about it gives me a kind of a sour feeling in my stomach. Also, this is the new Batman and the new Robin, as the original Batman is now a caveman trapped living in the past or somesuch thing.

???

I will probably get the first issue of this just because I am a total sucker, but I don't think I'll be getting any beyond that. I love Quitely's art and Morrison can be a lot of fun, but I really don't have a good feeling about this, particularly since it is rumored that the new Robin will be that Damien kid who showed up a few years ago. Batman's son. I hate that kid.

Meanwhile, delighted with the negative reaction to Final Crisis, DC has decided to publish four six-issue limited series spinning out of the train wreck that was their last big mega-event.

They are...

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: RUN!

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: ESCAPE

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: DANCE

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: INK

Yup.

Here's what editor Ian Sattler had to say about Final Crisis Aftermath: Run!

The scope was...or rather the idea of Run! was a simple question – “How fast can we make this book?” The thing about these books is that they’re all very, very character driven, and they all have certain stylistic themes, with Run!’s being how kinetic we can make a comic? Matt had mentioned to me that he had always wanted to do a big chase and capture book with the criminal and police that takes place across different locales, and with this book, we’re really trying to see how fast we can keep the book feeling. Scenes don’t last more than a few pages as the Human Flame is moving around the country at a pretty quick clip. As we were doing this book, the test that we came up for it was us asking ourselves, “Is this Run? Is this fast enough?” And the other question we asked ourselves was how far can we push it without going into areas of poor taste. That’s not saying that we’re being shocking just to be shocking or that these are mature readers books, but we’re looking at telling different stories. I’m a huge fan of shows like The Wire and The Shield - things that are more aggressive and grittier without going into total grindhouse. It’s easy to go to that end of the spectrum, but to do it without pushing it all the way to that end is actually a lot harder, but that was the edict on all of these books, and we’ve got it in spades in Run!.

There are several things that strike me as being worthy of ridicule here, but I think my favorite part is:

As we were doing this book, the test that we came up for it was us asking ourselves, “Is this Run? Is this fast enough?”

For some reason, that strikes me as hilariously stupid.

The other thing that really stands out is that they wanted to see how close they could get to areas of poor taste. This from a DC editor.

For the past few years, one of the trademarks of most DC superhero titles has been gratuitous violence. I'm not talking about the usual Biff! Bam! Pow! that one expects in these things... I'm talking about arms being torn off of bodies, babies being incinerated, eye-balls being eaten, heads being torn off and tossed around...

Quite honestly, I think they have already explored poor taste sufficiently.

And what I really love is that Sattler identifies himself as a fan of The Wire and Shield. Those are both great shows, but what makes them great isn't gratuitious violence; it's the incredibly high quality of the writing and the acting. For that matter, I don't think it's accurate to say that The Wire in any way resembles "grindhouse." It's very realistic, yes, but it's certainly not in-your-face gore and violence. And it is definitely not violence as entertainment.

But, whatever...

Later in the interview, the Newsarama reporter asks about FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: DANCE

NRAMA: Alright – moving over to Dance...

IS: I do have to say that I love the title, and once you see it, it makes a lot of sense, given that the Super Young Team is put out on display and have to kind of “dance” for their jobs and their message. And there will be actual dancing in the books.

Get it? They have to "dance" for their jobs!!! And there will be actual "dancing" in the book.

Yup.

And then there's this...

NRAMA: It sounds like something of a post-American Idol Teen Titans in a way...

IS: Exactly. That’s a good way of putting it – it’s also more or less post-American, Japanese Teen Titans too. I don’t like a heavy dose of realism in my comics – as a fan, as a reader, I don’t like it when comics gets really heavily reflective of current events, so here the metaphor is that this is very...the references are there, and people can probably draw lines, but they’re also very easy to ignore, too. But yeah – the media, and what we’ve come to accept as heroism is a really big part of Dance.

Yeah, yeah... that's the ticket! I don't like it when comics reflect current events but, yeah, it's the media and the... and the heroism... yeah! It's all kind of... Dance-y. You see? Because we're all just... we're all just dancing! You get it?!

NRAMA: And finally - Escape...

IS: Dan’s editing Escape, and the big idea with that is that it’s part Prisoner and part Saw...

That's all that really needs to be said about that. Because if there's one thing that I never ever ever want to read, it's a comic-book (or any kind of book, for that matter) that is part Saw. That's the movie that helped start the whole torture-porn genre of film that is so popular right now.

So... yeah.

It's actually sort of interesting... in a frightening sort of way... to see the above titles as a reflection of where DC is at right now. Getting too caught up in current events is no good, presumably because it would be too realistic and would ruin the fun of comics... but grindhouse violence is something that's really fun to explore.

Why?

---------------------------------------

Well, I must get out in the world for a little bit, so I suppose this is Part One of looking at the June 2009 solicitations... before we go, I feel we really need at least one good comic to get excited about, so let's close with this...

UNCANNY X-MEN #512

Written by MATT FRACTION

Pencils & Cover by YANICK PAQUETTE

“The Origins of the Species”As the X-Men reel from the return of one of the greatest X-Ladies, Beast and Angel take the X-Club back to 1906 to investigate the origins of the mutant species as we know it. See the earliest stages of the Hellfire Club and the very first Sentinel ever! This story is not to be missed!48 PGS./Rated T+ ...$3.99

I'm not a fan of the X-Men in general, but this sounds and looks very much like X-Men by way of Planetary.

My prediction...? This is going to rock...

- Paul

And thanks for all the fish!

2008-11-25T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Thanksgiving is just a couple of days away and so I thought that would make this an appropriate time to officially give thanks for all the many lovely things in this world of ours--most of which are comic-book related--that help make getting up in the morning a bit less odious than it might otherwise be...

I want to start with a big one that has absolutely nothing to do with comic-books at all, and that is my number one thing that I am thankful for...

Thank you, American people. Or, at least, about 53% of you...

On to comic-book-y goodness...

I am thankful for Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, who are currently writing two sci-fi super-hero series for Marvel: Nova and Guardians of the Galaxy. Neither of these are outstandingly amazing works of literary genius, but what I love about both series it that they tend to be super-deluxe fun...

Nova is about Richard Rider, a normal Earth guy who was chosen to join the inter-galactic police force of Novas... which meant that he wears a funny bucket on his head and has some pretty cool powers. In this series, however, the Nova Corps. has been destroyed and Richard Rider is the last of the Novas... which means he's single-handedly responsible for the entire galaxy.

That's a big responsibility.

At first, the story focused on the interaction between Richard and the Worldmind--the collective intelligence/culture/history/other stuff--that now existed inside his helmet and constantly scolded him. Nova would race off to fight some inter-galactic evil and the Worldmind would point out that if Richard got killed the Worldmind would also be destroyed; its argument was that keeping the Worldmind preserved was a hell of a lot more important than saving a few lives.

Richard disagreed.

Hilarity ensued.

Then, about four issues into the series, Richard Rider got killed--sort of--and we had a replacement Nova, a Kree military commander. Then Richard came back, but had been infected by the alien techno-virus that was ravaging the Kree world and creating all sorts of problems across the universe. Just as that whole situation was being resolved, Richard got called to a planet that was being consumed by Galactus, leading to a big ol' fight against the Silver Surfer, who pretty much beat the crap out of Nova. They resolved their differences--sort of--but Nova was a bit slow getting off the planet and...

Anyway, the thing I love about this series is that the status quo is constantly changing and that Abnett and Lanning manage to make Nova seem like a heavy-hitter but also are able to continuously come up with big-scale challenges to keep him busy... this is no easy trick.

Their other series, Guardians of the Galaxy, is even better. The Guardians of the Galaxy are a real mixed bag of 'heroes' who were sort of coerced into coming together to fight inter-galactic badness... there's Adam Warlock, Drax the Destroyer, Starlord, Rocket Raccoon... and many more.

If this series has a flaw, it's that Abnett and Lanning sometimes try to tell too many stories at once... it's not always clear how--or if--the various plots tie together. That said, I much prefer a series with too much going on to a series with too little... and the writers make good use of humor to help keep things relatively light... Rocket Raccoon, in particular, makes this series worth reading. He's a raccoon with a laser-gun. How cool is that?

Very cool.

I'm super deluxe thankful for the current Thor series... which is bizarre, because I have zero interest in Thor as a character and I generally quite dislike J. Michael Straczynski's writing. A large part of the credit must go to artist Olivier Coipel, who is producing some of the most gorgeous artwork I have ever seen in a comic...

[That's Loki you see above, looking very creepy... he's a woman now. It's a long story.]

To my mind, Coipel's work on Thor is comparable to Totleban's art on Swamp Thing, back in the day, or the art from Promethea by J.H. Williams III and Mick Gray.

It's that good.

But, in all fairness, Straczynski is also largely responsible for the wonderful-ness that is the current Thor series. He's taking his time to tell a slow, epic story rich with intrigues and tragedy and grim forebodings... and he has completely revitalized Loki, who was generally a pretty dull villain before this storyline.

Good stuff.

Anyway, I'm running out of time, but here are a few other things I'm thankful for...

Keith Giffen's art... whenever and wherever it may appear...

Geoff Johns and Gary Frank on Action Comics... I can't think of a run on a Superman title that I've enjoyed this much since... well, since waaay the hell back when Dan Jurgens, George Perez, Karl Kesel, Jerry Ordway, and a couple of other folk were writing/drawing the three titles. And that, I believe, was in the late 1980s.

The thrice-monthly Amazing Spider-Man... I think all of the writers and artists are doing a phenomenal job on this title... and editor Steve Wacker deserves a huge kiss for putting it all together and for returning the letters page...

Jeff Parker's writing on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers and all of the works that it has inspired, including a lot of recent comics by Paul Tobin, which have been VERY fun...

And many, many others...

Anyway, this has gone on long enough... You need to get back to work and I need to get back to whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing...

I did briefly consider giving thanks for all the wonderful people in my life and blah-blah-blah, but then I decided that would be incredibly tedious for everyone involved. So, just let's assume that I'm thankful for all of those people and then let us speak about it never again...

So, from all of us here at Hoopla! (me) to all of you out there in readerland (that would be you and that one other guy who keeps accidentally winding up on this page because he can't figure out how to use his favorites function)...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

- Paul

On Superman

2008-10-23T03:51:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

So, there's a ten-part interview with Grant Morrison being posted over at newsarama which is all about the recently completed All-Star Superman series he and Frank Quitely have been working on for the past few years. The whole interview is certainly worth reading, but I found this excerpt particularly lovely...

In the end, I saw Superman not as a superhero or even a science fiction character, but as a story of Everyman. We’re all Superman in our own adventures. We have our own Fortresses of Solitude we retreat to, with our own special collections of valued stuff, our own super–pets, our own “Bottle Cities” that we feel guilty for neglecting. We have our own peers and rivals and bizarre emotional or moral tangles to deal with.

Ah, Grant Morrison. There's plenty of his work that is not to my taste (Invisibles, Final Crisis, Batman: RIP, his four-issue Mr. Miracle and Bulleteer series), but when he's on, he's on.

My only other comment for this very brief Hoopla! is that the January 2009 solicitations have come out and I am underwhelmed.

I suspect that it's a January thing. I have noticed, over the years, that the Big Two Companies don't tend to have much to offer each January; presumably the thinking is that everyone just spent all their money on gifts and so sales are going to be down in any case. And, hey, that may be true... who knows?

But one thing that did catch my eye is this...

WOLVERINE AND POWER PACK #3 (of 4)
Written by MARC SUMERAK & CHRIS GIARRUSSO
Art by SCOTT KOBLISH & CHRIS GIARRUSSO
Cover by GURIHIRU
Jack Power and Franklin Richards take a wild trip through the timestream and end up face-to-face with a pre-teen Wolverine! But since young James Howlett is nothing at all like the hero he is destined to one day become, it'll be up to our time-tossed troublemakers to teach the once-and-future-Wolvie how to kick some butt! Plus...MINI MARVELS!32 PGS./All Ages ...$2.99

I have never purchased a Power Pack comic before, but I honestly don't think I can pass up a story about Power Pack teaching a young Wolverine how to fight. I just can't.

Does that make me a bad person?

- Paul

Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade #1

2008-10-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

Here are some preview pages that have been posted for DC's Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade #1:

Yaaay!!!

You can see them full-sized, as God intended, here.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating... DC's new all-ages line of comics is FUN!!! And super-cute!!!

- Paul

Greatest Hits... almost

2008-10-08T04:24:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

A while back, a 3-set anthology of Beatles songs was released that purported to contain their greatest hits, divided by musical period. I was disappointed to find, after I bought it, that these were largely "never before released" versions of their greatest hits... like the recording of "Strawberry Fields" where John Lennon starts coughing at one point, or the mix of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" where a helicopter happened to pass by while they were recording and it makes a sort of helicopter-y noise in the background. Or the early version of "Yellow Submarine" that doesn't have any instruments. And the submarine was only a canoe.

Watching the second presidential debate last night, I had much the same feeling. It was like a greatest hits anthology only less polished than the original versions. There was more stammering and mixing up of words. But, ultimately, it was just the two candidates repeating what they perceive to be their best lines, which we have already heard a bazillion times before.

The only thing I really learned from that hour and a half of my life, which would have been better spent playing with my cat or reading comics, is that McCain needs to stop saying "My friends..." so much. It's become annoying. He needs a new line. I don't know what it should be... maybe if he really needs to preface each and every sentence, he could vary it with a few other lines, like "Guys and gals..." or "My fellow mavericks..." or "Chimichanga - Watch me Now!!!"

And, for god's sake, next time don't forget to oil his joints before the debate.

Neither candidate impressed me, though. and Tom Brokaw simply sucked. You mean to tell me that of the twenty bazillion questions that were sent to him, those were the most original and provocative that he could find?

"My question for the senators is... this financial crisis... it's really bad. So, what are you going to actually do, if you are president, to deal with it?"

"My friends... my opponent wants to tax you. To tax you!!! And he told Palestine that he was going to bomb it. You don't do that, my friends. You simply don't."

"I... I just have to quick respond to what Senator McCain has said. I do not want to tax you. In fact, I want to give tax cuts to 95% of the middle class."

[One of these days, he really does need to tell us what that other 5% did to piss him off so much.]

"Our next question comes from aisle J... and it is... What will YOU do about the financial crisis, in the first two years of your presidency, if you are elected president?"

"My friends, I'll tell you what I won't do. I won't raise taxes on the working poor, like this one wants to. And here's his dark secret... here's what Senator Obama hasn't told you... he hates the U.S. economy and everyone in it. But, my friends, the American worker is the best damn worker in the world. The best exporter, the best importer... I love you guys. I really do. You're the best. I don't care what Obama says..."

"That... that just isn't true. Listen... my tax cut is going to HELP 95% of the middle class and small businesses. It looks to me like the wheels just fell off the Straight Talk Express at a busy intersection... and that intersection is today's financial crisis, which was caused by the Bush Administration, which starts with B which rhymes with P and that stands for McCain!!! Because Senator McCain has voted with President Bush 90% of the time. And he actually voted AGAINST investments in solar energy and wind power 26 times."

"My friends, that just isn't true. Barack Obama is like a jellyfish that you can't quite keep in an aquarium because it keeps slithering up the sides and threatening to bomb Pakistan and have dinner with terrorists with NO PRECONDITIONS. You don't do that. You don't do that. You don't have dinner with known terrorists who have called Israel a STINKING CORPSE. You simply don't do that, my friends."

"Okay, okay... settle down fellows. I'm going to use up a few precious minutes good-naturedly chiding you for going over the allotted time. I mean, I'm trying to do a good job here. I am. And I'm following the rules that you gave me. So, please, don't go over the allotted time. You're just making my job that much harder. And you make me feel sad inside. And now I'm going to ask this question, which came from the internet... "About this here financial crisis, what are YOU going to do about it if YOU are elected president?"

Sigh.

Who knew democracy could be this banal?

- Paul

caption

2008-10-05T11:23:00.000-07:00

"Seriously, though... could I be any more adorable? Could I???"

In which someone gets their little weenie snipped off...

2008-10-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

I just finished watching the Iron Man movie; I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. That Robert Downey Jr. ... he makes a mighty fine Tony Stark.

Normally, I hate comic-book based movies... they tend to rely too heavily on that god-awful CGI animation that movie directors in Hollywood think looks really cool but which everyone else in the world has noticed looks incredibly fake... and, yes, they tend to be aimed at the lowest common denominator... much like John McCain's vice-presidential selection...

"Say it ain't so, Joe..."

She's a saucy little scamp, ain't she? Actually, since we're all living here on non sequiter island, let me quickly toss in a quote I just read from Ms. "I'm a hockey mom" Palin...

"Our opponent though is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough that he is palling around with terrorists who would target their own country," Palin said of Obama, also calling him an embarrassment.

Yup... thats' the high-minded politics that I look to McCain and Palin for... I'm glad they're not indulging in those petty, mud-slinging tactics that the voters have all grown so weary of... after all, like John said, this is not the time for that ridiculous partisan posturing. Now is the time to really, uh, focus on the issues and... uh... lie. A lot.

Anyway... Iron Man. Very good movie. Very enjoyable. Yes, there is some CGI stuff toward the end, but it's relatively brief.

So, you may consider that a recommendation, my friend...

Meanwhile...

The past couple of nights my new roommate and fellow comic-book reviewer, Rocky the cat, has been keeping me up from about 8pm to 6am with an incessant meowing/yowling noise that seems to spring up from within him from the moment that the sun sets, lasting until it rises again...

Of course, I am sympathetic. He's a young cat, used to living on his own, and he wants to be outside, showing the ladies a good time...

Hey, I get it. I was young and feline too, once upon a time.

But... I didn't want him going out until we had the little fella "fixed" because I believe in responsible sex... and since I'm not actually having any sex at all right now, I'm acting out my need for responsible sex by preventing Rocky from fathering any kittens that I know he is neither financially nor emotionally prepared to care for...

Anyway, so I didn't get much sleep. At all. And then today, Rocky went on a little adventure...

snip. snip.

So, now he's very groggy and not in such a great mood, and I'm exhausted from lack of sleep, and we're both just kind of hanging out together, finding some small comfort in each other's company...

And yet, ironically, even as we commiserate over life's difficulties, I remain poignantly aware that we are each directly responsible for the misery and exhaustion that the other is experiencing...

Is this what it's like being married?

- Paul

The Character Find of 2008... Rocky!!!

2008-10-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

I've been a little busy lately, but now I have a friend who's going to help me with these comic-book reviews... so, without any further ado, allow me to introduce my new cat, Rocky!!!

>Meow.<

Rocky and I are going to do some reviews together and I think you'll agree that, together, we are a force to be reckoned with... unto like a fist of iron!!!

The first comic I wanted to talk about was the single most enjoyable comic I've read in... well, in a very long time. I'm talking about Superman/Batman #51, which features the return of some hallucinations that Superman had in a previous story... only they're no longer hallucinations.

The whole thing is pretty damn funny, but the best part is the little Batman featured on the cover below...

He talks tough, just like the Batman we all know and love, but he's so cuuuute!!!

Rocky, what did you think of Superman/Batman #51?

>No tuna.<

I'm sorry...?

>No tuna. Two paws down.<

Yeah but, Rocky... that's not really fair. I mean, none of the comics that came out this month had tuna in them. Or were about tuna. At all.

>Two paws down.<

For what...?

>All of this month's comics. No tuna. Two paws down.<

But...

>Two paws down comics! Give me some tuna.<

Yeah, but Rocky, this is a comic-book review column. People from around the world come here to find out which comics are recommended and which to stay away from... and, you know, there's general commentary about comic-books and...

>Two paws down.<

For...?

>Hoopla! No tuna! Two paws down!!!<

But, Rocky...

>Two paws down!!! Two paws down!!! Dumb Hoopla! Two paws down!!!<

>Tuna!!! Two paws up!!!<

Hm. Well, I hope you will join me next week (or thereabouts) for an all-new Hoopla!, in which I'll be looking at a bunch of new comics and... um... and I want to thank Rocky for joining me for this very special Hoopla! column...

Thanks, Rocky.

>No problem, Paul.<

Everybody's got something to hide except for me and the Monkees!

2008-09-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Man, what a great time to not be rich, huh? I don't have anything invested in anything at all, so this financial crisis is just passing me by...

Wheee!

Meanwhile, Robot-McCain has released this statement, making me feel much more secure about the future of our economy.

>Bleep! They have treated this economy like a casino. Bleep! They have the corruption and the access and the I tried to warn them but it is the old boy network, treated this economy like a casino. Bleep!<

Of course the one question that's on the minds of everyone on Wall Street right now is "How will the sale of Merrill Lynch to Bank of America and the collapse of Lehman Brothers affect the Marvel and DC solicitations for December 2008?"

Well, the good news is that, thus far, they appear to have had no real effect on them. Just take a look...

See? There's the cover to The Age of the Sentry #4, looking just as pretty as a picture (which, in fact, it is... if you want to get all technical about it). No doom and gloom about stock prices here, my friend. Not a bit of it!

Read, and grow wise...

THE AGE OF THE SENTRY #4 (of 6)

Written by JEFF PARKER & PAUL TOBIN

Penciled by NICK DRAGOTTA & RAMON ROSANAS

Cover by DAVE BULLOCK

What happens when our hero takes a good long look in the mirror...and sees The Golden Age Sentry! PLUS, It's an invasion! No---not that kind of invasion; it's a British music invasion. But the dance party grinds to a sudden halt when the Crick-Hits are kidnapped, and it's all tunnels lead to Rome as the Golden Guardian of good teams up with the Blonde Phantom journeying deep within the Earth to do battle against a seemingly unstoppable army of monsters and their rather tyrannical leader, Marvel presents a story we just had to call--- "I Wanna Hold Your Band!"32 PGS./Rated A ...$2.99

Also coming out in December from Marvel is The Wonderful World of Oz (#1 of 8). This is a sort of strange pick for me... I have no inherent love of the World of Oz, but it's being written by Eric Shanower, who's won an Eisner for his comic, Age of Bronze, and the art is by Skottie Young, who has done a lot of art for Marvel that has always left me feeling that A) His art is pretty cool but, B) It doesn't go well with mainstream superhero stuff.

Let's see if I can utilize this here world wide web that the kids are always going on about to find a sample of his work for you, okay?

That's Kazar (Marvel's Tarzan rip-off... er, I mean homage...) hanging out with Deadpool.

This next one is one of my all-time pics of Iron Man...

If I saw that thing coming my way, I would surrender with great haste. Even if I wasn't doing anything wrong at all, I'd just go ahead and surrender.

And this next one is Deadpool with a very Sienkiewicz-esque Dr. Strange...

As a general rule, Young's interior art has been far less interesting than his cover work, but I'm hoping that illustrating The Wonderful World of Oz will give him the opportunity to really cut loose and do something innovative.

We shall see...

Meanwhile, if you and/or your kids have been enjoying Tiny Titans and Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam, there's a new title from DC you'll want to put on your pull list...

SUPERGIRL: COSMIC ADVENTURES IN THE EIGHTH GRADE #1

Written by Landry Walker

Art and cover by Eric Jones

Meet Linda Lee! She's the newest kid on the block - and the planet, too! Find out how an ordinary girl from Krypton became the most extraordinary girl on Earth in the pages of this brand new monthly series. And if you think life is tough as a hero, try being in the eighth grade.On sale December 3 * 32 pg, FC, $2.50 US

This new line of books for young kids has been pretty outstanding, thus far... so kudos to The Powers That Be for putting these together AND for keeping Dan Didio away from them...

Speaking of Dan Didio... a few months back I did a column pretending that Dan Didio had been brought in to edit the Archie Comics and he was going to make them all dark and gritty... well, apparently DC has bought the rights to the Archie super-heroes and they are going to start integrating them into the DC Universe.

Now, the good news is that no one actually cares about the Archie super-heroes... I know I read a few things with them, many years ago, and I think one of them was called the Fly? I don't know. But it seems like a strange move on DC's part...

But, then, what the hell do I know?

Not a damn thing, that's what.

Anyway, there's plenty more to say, and God knows I'm just the guy to say it, but I need to start preparing for tomorrow's class... I'm loving being a professor, but the prep work you have to do for classes can be a bit overwhelming... of course, compared to a REAL job, it's pretty minimal, so I guess I shouldn't complain...

Until next time, here's a little financial tip from me to you... Buy low and sell high. Right now, everything is low. So, don't sell. And stop calling up your bank and asking if your money is still there... it is. Individual accounts are insured up to $100,000. If you have more than that in your bank account, then you can send the surplus to me until this whole thing blows over. I've got plenty of room in my bank account...

It's like an echo chamber in there...

- Paul, echo-ey

Spanish Dream

2008-09-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

I am so tired... it is amazing.

I went to bed at a normal hour last night (around midnight), but woke up at 2:30 all worried because I didn't feel completely ready to teach... today's lecture was on State Legislatures and up until a few days ago, I had no idea what those were, so I've had to do a LOT of research so that I can trick my students into thinking that I actually know something...

So, I woke up at 2:30am and I couldn't go back to sleep.. so, finally, I got up and read some more articles and planned my class some more.. and then, when I was finished with that, it still took me a long time to fall asleep... I think I finally fell asleep again a little after 5:00... and then my alarm woke me up at 6:30...

I was so unhappy to hear my alarm clock... I wanted to argue with it... to say, "Hey, you stupid alarm clock... I've only been sleeping for 90 minutes!!! Leave me alone!!! Go bother someone else!!!"

But instead I had to get up and get ready for the day...

Before waking up, though, I had a funny stress dream... I dreamed that I was in a Spanish class and we were all waiting for the teacher to show up, and then she finally did enter and she looked at me and said, "Paul, aren't you supposed to be teaching this class?"

And I was trying to act like I had everything under control.. so I told the class to open their books and I started trying to speak to them in Spanish... like, I tried to tell them "Open your books" in Spanish.. .but I don't actually know Spanish, so I couldn't do it... I said something like "Cerrar tus libros." But I wasn't sure if "cerrar" actually means "open" and the students were looking blankly at me, so I just said it again, impatiently, as if they were the stupid ones because they couldn't understand me. "CERRAR TUS LIBROS, estudiantes!"

And the students kept correcting my Spanish and then someone said, "Do you even know Spanish?" and I said, "Si. Of course I do. Si." But I couldn't think of any Spanish words other than "si." So I just kept saying that. "Si. Por su puesto, yo hablo espanol. Naturalmente."

Anyway, it wasn't a funny dream when I was dreaming it, but it seemed funny afterwards because of how the brain works...

Silly brain...

And this time it's personal...

2008-09-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

So, it's been a while, yes?

The good news is that I think I am finally, after a couple of months of extreme wackiness, ready to return to the wonderful world of writing comic book reviews that are then read by approximately three people, maybe one and half of whom actually have any interest in comic books.

The other good news is that I'm 97% finished with the whole dissertation thing... I need to revise one more sentence (seriously... that's what my Dissertation Chair told me in her email... "There's just one more sentence I think you need to revise...) and then that will be a done deal.

The other other good news is that I have purchased a computer that doesn't crash every five minutes, which means that I can work on Hoopla! from home... which will make it much easier for me to do this on a regular basis...

The other other other good news is that... hm. No, I don't suppose there is any other other other good news.

Crap.

Well, no comic book reviews today, but I've got some coming up, I promise...

In the meantime, if you're looking to be a little bit horrified by what the future has in store for us, I strongly encourage you to check out this link...

See ya soon...

- Paul

2008-08-31T03:26:00.000-07:00

When you least expect it...

Hoopla! - The Return

Coming (relatively) soon...

Hoopla! - Episode 13: Comics I will not be buying

2008-06-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Today I'm going to do something a little different and instead of talking about comics that I'm looking forward to buying, I'm gonna do a column about comics that I'm looking forward to not buying... comics that give off such a rank odor that the act of seeing them on the shelves and purposefully, deliberately, adamantly NOT buying them will give me a cheap thrill, the likes of which have not been seen since that one time that I'm not going to tell you about because it's a very naughty story.

First up: Legion of Super-Heroes #46. I was very excited when Jim Shooter returned to this title. He was one of the original writers of Legion of Super-Heroes back in the late 1960s and early 1970s and the idea of him returning to that series some 40 years later seemed potentially very cool.

Alas, it was not cool.

Through the magic of not being able to cancel my pre-orders, I ended up reading three of these things, and they were pretty awful. More than anything, it felt like a mish-mash of boring, "been there, done that" kinds of sub-plots without any core. For example, Lightning Lad is the new leader and so we keep seeing him walking around with six or seven floating telephones (it's set in the far future, so telephones hover around your face as you talk) and dealing with bureaucratic nonsense.

Not funny.

Supposed to be funny, but not funny.

And extra-especially not funny because the obvious question that comes to mind is, "Why doesn't the leader of the galaxy's most famous super-hero team hire a receptionist to deal with that stuff?"

Pretty much all of the sub-plots were like that. Princess Projectra is no longer a princess and so there were repeated scenes of people not using her title and saying, "After all, you're no longer a princess" and her getting really angry and punching them in the face.

Not funny. Not interesting.

Anyway, I particularly enjoyed the solicitation for the September issue of Legion of Super-Heroes because the text is as follows:

THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #46

Written by Jim Shooter

Art and cover by Francis Manapul & Livesay

Chameleon’s hand is amputated! The menacing Intruder Planet is revealed as the source of the Alien Life-Eradicators! A longtime Legionnaire takes the first step down the path of darkness! Plus, the heartbreaking end of the oldest relationship in the history of the Legion! On sale September 24 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Okay, so first problem... "the menacing Intruder Planet is revealed as the source of the Alien Life-Eradicators."

Well, yes. It has been revealed. Right there in the solicitation text.

Next problem: The menacing Intruder Planet!!!

Um... no.

Next problem: The Alien Life-Eradicators!!!

Clearly, Jim Shooter is an idea-generating machine, the likes of which have not been seen since Alan Moore and Grant Morrison.

What's really amazing is that no one ever thought to use those awesome names before... The menacing Intruder Planet!!! The Alien Life-Eradicators!!!

Jim Shooter... stop! It's too much excitement...

Next Problem: The fact that Chameleon's hand gets amputated--and that that's considered a selling point of the issue--is bizarre and inappropriate, but then this is a DC comic and if there's one thing you can count on in a DC comic in the Dan Didio era, it's the maiming of characters.

Anyway, Chameleon is a shape-shifter, so does it actually matter if his hand gets amputated? Can't he just assume the shape of a thing that isn't missing a hand?

But my favorite stupid thing about this solicitation is that we're told that all this stuff is going to happen... we've got amputated hands and Alien Life-Eradicators and heartbreaking ends of old relationships... and then this is the cover they came up with to convey all this action and drama...

Ultra Boy is reading something while he drinks some coffee. Three poorly drawn characters, presumably evil, approach him.

And there's a muffin.

Speaking of the DC love of maiming characters, check out the solicitation for Green Lantern Corp #28...

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #28

Written by Peter J. Tomasi

Art by Luke Ross & Fabio Laguna

Cover by Rodolfo Migliari

As Kyle and Guy deal with personal issues on Oa, several Lanterns search for whoever’s been gruesomely removing the eyes of their relatives. Meanwhile, the Guardian known as Scar summons Lantern Saarek for a mission that will lead directly into The Blackest Night.On sale September 10 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Excuse me... could you say that again? I didn't quite hear you...

"...on Oa, several Lanterns search for whoever’s been gruesomely removing the eyes of their relatives."

Hm.

Well, that sounds like a very... interesting idea for a story.

Nicely done, DC.

And, back to the subject of new characters with appallingly stupid names, we have this...

DC SPECIAL: CYBORG #5

Written by Mark Sable

Art by Carlos Magno & Jonathan Glapion

Cover by Mike McKone

Meet The Phantom Limbs, an elite team of wounded soldiers saved by Cyborg's technology. The catch? The only way they can keep their new limbs is by killing for the mercenary Mr. Orr. Will Vic be able to save them from this Faustian bargain – or will they kill him first?On sale September 17 • 5 of 6, 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Ooh... the Phantom Limbs! And this is their very first appearance!!!

See what I'm saying here? DC comics. Amputated hands. The gruesome removal of eyeballs. A team of wounded soldiers who must kill in order to keep their new, artificial limbs.

It's almost like... a pattern, of some sort.

A hard to define... just barely on the periphery of my awareness kind of pattern...

So, there's that.

Oh, one more thing I thought looked kind of funny...

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #17

Written by Marv Wolfman

Art and cover by Phil Winslade

Supergirl and Raven team up to save San Francisco from a new super villain with deep roots in the DC Universe!On sale September 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Now, I'd be hard-pressed to think up a less intriguing team-up than Raven and Supergirl, and Marv Wolfman hasn't written a decent story since the mid to late 1980s, but my favorite thing about this is the cover... for sheer goofiness, it's hard to beat this...

I don't know why, exactly, but that floating head absolutely cracks me up. That and the fact that Supergirl is making the international symbol for "La-la-la-la-la-la!!! I can't hear you!!! I'm not listening!!! La-la-la-la-la-la!!!"

--------

Marvel's solicitations for September aren't nearly as comical, with one glaring exception...

IMMORTAL IRON FIST: ORSON RANDALL AND THE DEATH QUEEN OFCALIFORNIA
Written by Duane Swierczynski
Art by GIUSEPPE CAMUNCOLI
Cover by KAARE ANDREWS
The minute he saw the dame, Orson Randall knew he was in for a heap of hurt -- all in. But he wouldn’t be the hard-boiled hero he was if he didn’t go sniffing after trouble. Hero? Randall stopped the laugh in his throat. Drowned it in a slug of bourbon. Randall’s no hero. 1920s Los Angeles just ain’t the time or the place for a guy like that. Ain’t the time or place for the Immortal Iron Fist. Orson Randall’s just trying to figure the angle. And if he has to unload his .45s to do it, so much the better. Orson Randall’s just in it for the skirt. 48 PGS./Rated T+ ...$3.99

At first, I thought it was supposed to be funny. Y'know, sort of a satirical take on the old "film noir" kind of "pulp fiction"-y kind of thing.

But I don't think it's supposed to be funny.

I think maybe... just maybe... it's supposed to sound cool.

Hero? Randall stopped the laugh in his throat. Drowned it in a slug of bourbon. Randall’s no hero.

Ain’t the time or place for the Immortal Iron Fist. Orson Randall’s just trying to figure the angle. And if he has to unload his .45s to do it, so much the better.

Orson Randall’s just in it for the skirt.

And, my personal favorite...

The minute he saw the dame, Orson Randall knew he was in for a heap of hurt -- all in.

What does that even mean??? "All in." Is that some new thing that the kids say?

-------------

Anyway, enough of my wise-guy shenanigans... I need to get back to work on my dissertation... all in.

Until next time, here's hoping that the menacing Intruder Planet doesn't intrude on you and your footloose and fancy free ways...

Paul, all in

Hoopla! - Episode 12: In which my teeth hurt. A lot.

2008-06-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

It's been a while, huh? Before we get started on the comic-book goodness, let me tell you what I've been up to the past few weeks...

1) My girlfriend, Mie, moved to New Jersey

2) I've been working on my dissertation

3)

4)

5) Oh, yeah... today I went to the dentist and now that the novacaine has worn off, my teeth feel like someone dug deep into my gum tissues with a metal pick and scraped at the roots of my teeth for a couple of hours.

Which, in fact, is precisely what's happened. So, I guess that's a good sign, huh?

Also, in a somewhat humorous oversight, I've realized that although I'm scheduled to defend my dissertation on July 24, I'm actually required to finish my dissertation 15 days before defending it. So, whereas I thought that I had about a month to finish it, I actually have about two weeks.

Hahahaha.

Ha.

Anyway, enough about me... let's talk comics, shall we...?

First of all, I wanted to post this link from Newsarama. You may recall me attempting to calculate, about a month ago, how much it would cost to read all the parts of Secret Invasion. Well, someone's actually done a much better job of it than my half-assed attempt, and it's pretty entertaining, in its way. Apparently, to purchase all of the official tie-ins, cross-overs, and related limited series would cost $316.98.

So, start saving.

Final Crisis, which is DC's big summer event, would only cost you $115.14 according to the calculations done in that Newsarama article, but I think they overlooked a few things in figuring that out. Like, for example, Countdown to Final Crisis, the 52-issue story that was supposed to be the prequel.

In all fairness, the guy who wrote the article notes that he left out stuff like that... so I guess it's not really an oversight, per se... he just didn't want to get into all the prelude-y stuff.

For what it's worth, although I have no intention of purchasing even half the Secret Invasion tie-ins and stuff, I am enjoying the actual limited series quite a lot, and also the Avengers tie-ins. I also picked up the first issue of Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four, because it was one of the "less than a dollar" comics offered by mailordercomics.com for that month and, I've gotta say, it was far more enjoyable than the regular, ongoing Fantastic Four title, which I complained about last month. Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four is not the stuff of genius... it's not the comic that's going to revolutionize comic-book writing... but it is a lot of fun. And that aint all bad...

Final Crisis, on the other hand, I'm not so enamored of. I found the first issue rather self-important and dull. There was no single character that seemed to be important to the story... they're all just sort of there to narrate the HUGE AND SIGNIFICANT EVENTS that are occurring.

Maybe that will change as it goes along?

Then again, maybe I won't keep reading long enough to find out.

Here's the cover for issue #4, due out in September...

So, is it me or does this cover sort of look like Darkseid is going to a boxing match?

Every time I look at it, I have that same thought.

There was a really funny interview with Grant Morrison, by the way, in which he was asked why there was such a huge disconnect between the conclusion of Countdown to Final Crisis and the beginning of Final Crisis, the story that Countdown was supposed to be counting down to...

Example: Countdown to Final Crisis ends with the deaths of all the New Gods. This was also shown in Jim Starlin's recent "Death of the New Gods" limited series (I'm not sure that's the actual title, but it was something like that).

And yet, Final Crisis #1 opens with one of the New Gods being murdered and it's a big mystery. So, obviously, they weren't all dead. In fact, it appears that none of them are dead, despite the fact that they were all killed off one month earlier.

Grant Morrison basically says that the people who were responsible for Countdown to Final Crisis ****ed up and there was nothing he could do about it because he'd already written his story by the time that the year-long prelude to his story was finished.

Silly DC comics...

So, here's something that I'm genuinely looking forward to... issues 1 and 2 of Marvel Apes, both due to come out in September.

Here's the solicitation text:

MARVEL APES #1 & 2 (of 4)
Written by KARL KESEL
Pencils by RAMON BACHS
Cover by JOHN WATSON
Flingin' feces, True Believer-- the entire Marvel Universe has gone APE! Just when he thinks life can't get any worse or weirder, Marty Blank - a.k.a. that lovable loser, the Gibbon -- finds himself and the brilliant-and-beautiful Dr. Fiona Fitzhugh transported to a world where monkeys rule and humans don't exist! SEE the spectacular simian city of Monkhattan! MEET the hominoid heroes and villains - SPIDER-MONKEY! DOC OOK! IRON MANDRILL! SIMIAN TORCH! THE APE-VENGERS! And more! THRILL to the return of Speedball! CONTAINS No-Ads, as we are thrilled to present you backup tales exploring the Apeiverse! LEARN the dark secret of the primate planet! WORRY that the fate of the entire universe is in the hands of the Gibbon! Not a hoax, not a dream, not an imaginary story - just the most not-to-be-missed mini-series of the season! If you only buy one (well, two) comics this month about super-powered, intelligent apes-in-capes, it must be MARVEL APES! 40 PGS.(each)/ Rated T+ ...$3.99 (each)

See... and that's why I love Marvel.

I don't want people to think I'm picking on DC, though, so here's something lovely that they're publishing in September...

JONAH HEX #35
Written by Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art and cover by J.H. Williams III
Featuring spectacular art by J.H. Williams III (PROMETHEA)! Jonah Hex joins a posse hunting a gang of murderous outlaws, but when the guns fall silent, Hex finds himself faced with a peculiar proposition, as a marshal named Roth and his pretty young wife invite Hex for the strangest dinner of his life. On sale September 3 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Man... what is the deal with Jonah Hex??? A couple of months ago, there was a solicitation for an upcoming issue with art by Darwyn Cooke, and now they've got J.H. Williams III doing an issue???

I don't understand it, but I like it... I like it a lot.

--------

Well, I'm going to have to cut this shorter than I'd planned because my gums are beginning to throb with pain... I have this little mini-pack of Advil that the dentist gave me as I was leaving, but it's in one of those metal-ish packages that you're supposed to somehow open with your fingers but which, in reality, cannot be opened by hand unless you happen to be Edward Scissorshand.

Which I do not.

So, I'm forced to choose between continuing this column or going home and getting a frickin' frackin' scissors and opening the frickin' frackin' package and taking the Advil before all the nerve-endings in my mouth explode...

On that happy note, here's hoping that your girlfriend hasn't left you to move to New Jersey, that you haven't suddenly lost two vital weeks of dissertation-writing time, and that your gums haven't recently been slashed open.

Marvel Apes, you can't get here soon enough....

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 11: Good Things to Come - Marvel Comics!!!

2008-05-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

You know, ever since I posted that last column, talking about the August 2008 solicitations for DC Comics, my mail box has been stuffed full of letters, all wanting to know the same thing...

What about the Marvel Comics??? Will there be Skrulls??? Will there be lots and lots of Skrulls??? Will it light up the whole world...?

Well, now, just calm yourself down, li'l feller... there'll be Skrulls! Heck, yeah, there'll be Skrulls... Skrulls enough for you, your friends, your family, and even enough for ol' Mrs. Wilson who lives down the road...

Skrull limited series! Skrull crossovers! Skrull t-shirts and Skrull coffee mugs! Skrulls enough to fill all your Skrully needs!!!

But that's not all...

In addition to the ubiquitous Skrull tie-ins (SECRET INVASION #5, MIGHTY AVENGERS #17, NEW AVENGERS #44, AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #16, SECRET INVASION: INHUMANS #1 (of 4), SECRET INVASION: THOR #1 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: X-MEN #1 (of 4), SECRET INVASION: SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY #1 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: RUNAWAYS/YOUNG AVENGERS #3 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: FRONT LINE #2 (of 5), GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #4, NOVA #16, INCREDIBLE HERCULES #120, MS. MARVEL #30, CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI:13 #4, X-FACTOR #34, SHE-HULK #32, THUNDERBOLTS #123, NEW WARRIORS #15, BLACK PANTHER #40, and, of course, SKRULLS VS. POWER PACK #2 (of 4)) there are a few other things coming out in August as well...

[In case you're wondering, that's 21 different titles tying into the big Skrull storyline in August... at about 3 bucks a pop, that's roughly 63 dollars for August... if, y'know, you wanna follow the Skrull storyline in its total awesome-nality-ness...]

And while we're talking about the Skrulls... incidentally... and just so none of you go running around and accusing me of xenophobia... I'd just like to point out that I did, in fact, purchase and read Secret Invasion #1, as well as the New Avengers and Mighty Avengers tie-ins that came out in April, and I actually quite enjoyed them all...

So, let's just be careful about that rumor-mongering, yeah...?

But, as I was saying... not everything is about the Skrulls, y'know. There's some other stuff coming out in August of interest...

"Such as...?" you ask, in that taunting, mocking tone that absolutely makes me want to slug you...

Well, lemme tell ya...

SPIDER-MAN SUMMER SPECIAL

Written by KEITH GIFFEN & PAUL TOBIN

Art by RICK BURCHETT & COLLEEN COOVER

August is still summer, right? Yeah? COOL! Then we’re hittin’ ya up with two ALL-NEW Spidey stories from times when he wasn’t Secretly Invading or Branding New Days. First, Spidey teams up with Falcon to handle an outbreak of futuristic weaponry showing up in Harlem, and then MARY JANE takes center stage as she teams up with She-Hulk, Hellcat, Marvel Girl and some other lovely ladies to take on The Enchantress, in this one-shot!48 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

Why is this of interest? Well, I'll give you four reasons...

1) Keith Giffen

2) Paul Tobin

3) Rick Burchett (He's actually sort of hit-or-miss... used to love his art, but his work on She-Hulk was just plain lame...)

4) Colleen Coover

And then there's this...

SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #1 (of 5)

Written by TERRY MOORE

Penciled by CRAIG ROUSSEAU

Cover by TERRY MOORE

At long, long, long, looooooooooooooooong last, SHE’S BACK!Mary Jane Watson, in her very own adventures! Superstar writer Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise, upcoming RUNAWAYS) supplies story (and covers!) and artist Craig Rousseau (The Perhapanauts) brings his best for this all-new mini.It’s the beginning of a new high school year. MJ finally feels like she’s got her life in order. Good friends, good classes, good relationship with a certain Wall-Crawler…but is there someone behind the scenes that’s got it in for our rambunctious redhead?

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Okay, so... why-oh-why am I recommending something called Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane?

Is it because I'm a total dweeb?

Sure, there's that... but it's also because it's being written by Terry Moore.

I don't know if it'll be great... I don't even know if it'll be good... but, at the very least, it oughtta be interesting...

FANTASTIC FOUR: TRUE STORY #2 (of 4)

Written by PAUL CORNELL

Penciled by HORACIO DOMINGUEZ

The FF's emergency exploration of the worlds of fiction continues as they burst through the covers of Ivanhoe and start to gather an army against the onrushing darkness. And the surprise villain behind this whole weird collision is revealed! (Warning: do not keep True Story too close to your other comic books. It may freak them out.)

32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

I talked about this limited series quite a lot last month, so I'll just say this... Ivanhoe meets Fantastic Four.

Guaranteed Hollywood summer blockbuster...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #27

Written by JEFF PARKER

Penciled by IG GUARA

Cover by LEONARD KIRK

Marvel: Okay, 27 is your final Avengers issue- we're expecting something special.

Parker: Oh don't you worry, it will be. Heh.

Marvel: Really? Great! Who's in it?

Parker: Um... the guy with the thing- trust me, it's going to RAWK.

Marvel: You don't know what the story is yet, do you.

Parker: -think my phone's running out of juice-zzzz-can barely hear you--- bwip*

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Now that's what I call a solicitation...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #2

Written by PAUL TOBIN

Penciled by ALVIN LEE

Iron Man, Hulk and Spidey rocket into space to stop a potentially devastating meteor shower from reaching Earth, but are surprised to find the meteors are actually Meteor Men, a group of intergalactic frat boys engaging in their most awesomely favorite extreme sport: Planet-Bombing. After negotiations (Could the Hulk quit hitting us, please?) the Meteor Men agree not to bombard Earth IF the heroes show them an equally good time on a variety of other planets, and other extreme sports. Will our heroes survive Albernathean Rhino Riding? How about Kree Karaoke? Or the galaxy’s most dangerous extreme sport, Black Hole Bungee Jumping?

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

I'm going to be seriously disappointed if there isn't really Kree Karaoke in that comic...

RUNAWAYS #1
Written by TERRY MOORE
Pencils & Cover by HUMBERTO RAMOS
Come see the beginning of a whole new Runaways! Comics legend Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise, Echo) and super-star artist Humberto Ramos (X-MEN, WOLVERINE, SPIDER-MAN) run back to Los Angeles with your favorite teen heroes. But it’s not the same city they left so long ago. The Runaways try to stay off the radar, but the sins of their parents won’t make that possible…
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

Again with the Terry Moore...

So, I really have no idea if this new Runaways series is going to be any good or not... it could go either way. I will say this... the recent storyline by Whedon has been unbearable. I mean, no, it's not really that bad of a story... God knows we've all read worse... but the sheer mediocrity of the writing and the art combined with the erratic scheduling has really sucked the fun and excitement out of this series...

The biggest question mark here is going to be the art by Ramos... you can tell by the cover that he's going for a pretty radically different look than the previous artists... and I'm just not sure how well it's going to work. But, hey, I'll give it a shot...

NYX: NO WAY HOME #1 (of 6)
Written by MARJORIE LIU
Penciled by KALMAN ANDRASOFSZKY
Cover by ALINA URUSOV
There’s no place like home—just ask young mutant KIDEN NIXON. She’s survived the hard streets of Manhattan, and she’s built a home—and a family—for herself, with her friends TATIANA, BOBBY SOUL and his LI’L BRO. But with fewer than 200 mutants left on the planet, Kiden’s become a target—and when somebody strikes at one of her friends, Kiden’s going to find out just how much farther she can fall! Don’t miss the breathtaking return of this beloved series, by NEW YORK TIMES best-selling writer MARJORIE LIU (the DIRK & STEELE SERIES) with stunning art by KALMAN ANDRASOFSZKY! Plus—a special behind-the-scenes gallery!
40 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99

Wow. This looks... powerful.

Ha! No, I'm just kidding... I don't actually know anything at all about Marjorie Liu or Kalman Andravsky... er... Kalman A., and maybe they're both brilliant and maybe... just maybe... I will live to regret my flippant dismissal of their fine new limited series, but here's what I do know...

Bobby Soul is a really, really stupid name.

I mean, seriously... that's right out of those 1970's "socially relevant" Green Lantern/Green Arrow comics by O'Neil and Adams...

This issue: Green Arrow and Green Lantern must face the grim underbelly of the ghettoes in the tale we simply had to call:

"Bobby Soul Don't Live Here No More!"

And Li'l Bro?

Li'l Bro?????

"Sweet Christmas!!! It's Li'l Bro!!!"

So, here's the math on that...

Bobby Soul + Li'l Bro + "She's survived the hard streets of Manhatten" + mutant angst = six issues of solid Turd

That's what I know about that...

--------------------------

And on that lovely note, I bid you farewell with this very special message to that group of Democrat women who have publicly vowed to NOT vote for Barack Obama if he wins the Democratic nomination... which he already has, by the way...

It's all fine and well that you would like for there to be a female president... it's ridiculous that there hasn't been one up until now and I can well understand your frustration...

BUT...

McCain??? Supreme Court nominations???

I'm just saying...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 10: Good Things to Come -- DC Comics!!!

2008-05-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

This column is going to take a look at some of the DC solicitations for August of 2008 and, who knows, maybe it will actually be followed by another column looking at Marvel solicitations.

But I'm not promising that.

I'm not promising A DARN THING!!!

So... please do bear that in mind...

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #51

Written by Michael Green & Mike Johnson

Art by Rafael Albuequerque

The Man of Steel and the Dark Knight are shocked to discover little versions of themselves fighting a threat in Metropolis. But where did these tiny heroes come from? As Superman and Batman search for answers, things get worse with the arrival of the Li’l League!On sale August 20 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99

I've been thoroughly enjoying Superman/Batman ever since Michael Green and Mike Johnson started writing it... which, I realize, makes me the only person in the entire universe reading it.

Or, at least, I'm the only one willing to admit to it...

But, anyhow, it's been a very fun series and issue #51 looks to be more of the same... I mean, the Li'l League??? How is that not going to be awesome???

The above is the cover to Green Lantern Corps, which I do not buy. And I will not pick up this issue, either. But, hey, it's a cool cover... isn't it?

And speaking of neat covers to comics that I'm not actually interested in reading, the above is a cool Alex Ross cover for Superman #679.

SUPERMAN #679

Written by James Robinson

Art by Renato Guedes & José Wilson Magalháes

Cover by Alex Ross

Two supermen: One, a man of yore, the other, the Man of Tomorrow! Atlas and Superman continue their all-out war, with Metropolis as the prize. But for all his power, Superman seems unable to defeat this titan of myth. With our hero down for the count, it will take another, unexpected hero to save the day.Guest-starring Supergirl and – someone else!On sale August 27 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

There was a time when James Robinson's name on a comic was pretty much a guarantee that it was gonna rock, but those days are long past. I seem to have this hazy, vague recollection of purchasing numerous post-Starman James Robinson comics, one after another, that really sucked and thinking, "What the hell happened to this guy? When did he forget how to write?"

I don't recall which comics these were, but I think this really did happen. It was not a dream, a hoax, or an imaginary story.

So, for that reason, even though Alex Ross has been making very pretty covers for Robinson's new run on Superman, I ain't buying. Not, at least, until I read some positive reviews that convince me otherwise...

This... on the other hand... this looks good to me.

ACTION COMICS #868

Written by Geoff Johns

Art by Gary Frank & Jon Sibal

“Brainiac” part 3 of 5! The frightening storyline that sets the stage for the SUPERMAN event of 2008 continues. Against everyone’s advice, Superman has journeyed to the deepest reaches of space to initiate contact with an alien being he thought he knew: Brainiac. But after learning about the truth behind Brainiac’s existence and his plans for Earth, Superman may regret his decision.On sale August 13 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99

I've really been enjoying Johns and Frank on Action Comics, thus far, and the upcoming Braniac storyline looks to be VERY cool...

And that...? That's a goat.

It may look familiar to some of you. Perhaps you have seen that goat before? In a dream, perhaps? Or staring at you through your bedroom window?

Who knows?

It's that kind of goat... the kind that leaves you wondering...

SUPER FRIENDS #6

Written by Sholly Fisch

Art by Dario Brizuela

You’re invited to a special day: The Challenge of The Super Friends! Thrill as our heroes design special traps for each other at a charity event. Chill as those traps are sabotaged by the Key! How will they escape? On sale August 20 • 32 pg, FC, $2.25

I know, I know... it's the Super Friends. But doesn't that sound like a neat premise for a comic? I only wish Justice League of America was doing fun stories like that instead of this incessant crap about Red Tornado's robot body being possessed and/or stolen by Amazo and even stupid-er stories about Vixen's stupid animal powers not working properly.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT RED TORNADO'S STUPID ROBOT BODY AND VIXEN'S STUPID STUPID STUPID ANIMAL POWERS!!!

And, seriously, which cover looks better to you... the above one with the Super Friends caught in a cage, or this...

Exactly.

And then, finally, there's this...

EMIKO SUPERSTAR

Written by Mariko Tamaki

Art and cover by Steve Rolston

“Auspicious . . . an unusually strong graphic novel – rich in visuals and observations.”— Publishers Weekly on Tamaki’s Skim

A borrowed diary, a double life and identity issues fuel a teenager’s quest to find herself before she cracks and commits social suicide. Watch Emi go from dull, suburban babysitter to eclectic urban art star compliments of one crazy summer! October 1 • 5.25” x 8” • 176 pg, FC, B&W, $9.99 US

Does anyone remember the brand name DC had for these little black and white graphic novels for teens? I can't think of it, offhand, and for some odd reason it isn't mentioned anywhere in the solicitation, but anyway, I'm assuming this is one of those...

Anyway, I really enjoy Steve Rolston's art and... and, so there.

Oddly, it seems to be coming out in October... which makes it a peculiar choice for the August 2008 solicitations. But, hey... what do I know???

Well, that's all for now... there are a few other DC books I'll be getting in August, including Booster Gold, Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds, Ambush Bug, Justice Society of America, and Green Lantern, but they didn't have particularly interesting covers, so... so there it is.

Incidentally, I just want everyone to know that I just got a new haircut today and I'm very pleased with it. I'm in a sharing mood, and that's something that I wanted to share with all of you.

- Paul, a sharing guy

Hoopla! - Episode 9: Mack Daddy Grimm???

2008-05-14T10:27:00.001-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Well, it's been a long while and you can be sure that I've been thinking of y'all... thinking warm, fuzzy thoughts...

But warm, fuzzy thoughts don't pay the rent, buster...

Although, come to think of it... nothing I do pays the rent...

Hm. How am I going to pay the rent this month?

Oh, well... that's a problem for June 1... right now, we're smack dab in the middle of May 2008 and THAT means it's time for some comic-book reviews...

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #121

Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS

Pencils & Cover by STUART IMMONEN

This was kind of a usual, no big changes to the status quo kind of story... some very funny moments, as when Peter Parker reveals his burnt baby to the class...

(that could actually sound very strange if you haven't read the actual story, I suppose...)

Still not entirely used to Immonen's art... I mean, there are times when it totally works for me, but then there are other times when I miss Mark Bagley... Hey, the guy illustrated over a hundred issues of this thing... it's going to take a while to get used to someone else's interpretation...

Y'know, I've been reading a lot of articles about BIG CHANGES COMING TO THE ULTIMATE UNIVERSE... But, I must confess, I'm not that interested. The Ultimate Universe doesn't need big changes... it doesn't need a huge crossover that reveals that everything you thought you knew was wrong... all it really needs is some good writers and some artists telling some good stories.

That's it.

That's all anyone really expects from the Ultimate Universe. And that was the key to its success for so long... all the comics published within its little sub-universe were good.

Kind of ingenious, really...

But, Ultimate Spider-Man is the only title that's really kept that going... I think there's pretty much universal recognition that Ultimate X-Men has sucked for years... and bringing in Ultimate Apocalypse, Ultimate Cable, Ultimate Mr. Sinister, and Ultimate Arms-Fall-Off Lad didn't help...

Yeah, so, anyway, not interested in that big ORIGINS OF ULTIMATE UNIVERSE thing they've got coming up... I honestly don't care about the origins of the Ultimate Universe. I just want to see Spider-Man make with the funnies while he swings around fighting crime and having soap opera-esque problem emerge in his personal life...

That's all.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #556–557

Written by ZEB WELLS

Pencils & Cover by CHRIS BACHALO

Speaking of Spider-Man... and I was... this three-part story by Wells and Bachalo rocked my world!!!

This is the best art I've seen from Bachalo in a long, long time... and the story is funny, action-packed, has moment of well done drama (the homeless guy who gives back Spider-Man's winter coat, the reveal at the end of issue 2, etc.)... all in all, a perfect little comic-book story.

I know a lot of readers insisted that they were going to drop Amazing Spider-Man because they were so angry at the end of whatever that storyline was called... the thing where Peter Parker and Mary Jane made a deal with Mephisto that if he would re-set their continuity so that they were never married, they'd get a sales boost and no one would ever mention it again... but anyway, yes, that thing sucked, but this thing is something different, so I don't really understand how hating the one equals not buying the other.

I know, I know... it's the principle of the thing.

But, here's the problem with THAT....

For one thing, it's completely different writers, different artists, a different editor...

And, really, if you want to "punish" comic-book companies for putting out terrible storylines, then by all means let's stop buying all Superman-related titles because of that horrible Superman Red/Superman Blue thing they did ten years back... the resolution to that was completely unsatisfying... and if you're going to complain about retroactively f#cking up the continuity, you better not be purchasing any X-Men comics... or need I remind you of the whole "Jean Grey wasn't really Jean Grey when she died, she was actually in a cocoon at the bottom of the ocean" thing...?

So, yeah... just don't even start with me.

Good comics is good comics... and Amazing Spider-Man is, at this moment in time, good comics!!!

So there.

And that?

That, my friend, is a goat.

And yes, he's looking at you... Got a problem with that?

ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST #6 (of 6)

Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING

Penciled by TOM RANEY & WELLINTON ALVES

This is it: Marvel's rag-tag group of sci-fi heroes vs. Ultron – in a double-sized finale! The surviving warriors face-off on the battlefield, with the fate of the entire Kree Empire – and perhaps the Earth itself – at stake! Who will fall? Who will rise to become a legend? It's an extra helping of adventure, humor, drama and eye-candy that IGN.com calls "one of the best event books of the year."48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Yeah... this ended up being not so great, really...

I like these same writers on Nova and I'm looking forward to their upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy series... and there were certainly moments that were very entertaining (pretty much any page with Groot)... but overall...

meh.

Too much sturm and drang, too little Groot.

FANTASTIC FOUR #556

Written by MARK MILLAR

Pencils & Cover by BRYAN HITCH

Man, that's one butt-ugly cover, isn't it?

You'd think... or, at least, I would think... that Millar and Hitch on Fantastic Four would be a good thing... a "oh my god that's gonna be awesome" kind of thing.

I mean, Mark Millar did a year's worth of stories on Ultimate Fantastic Four, which is practically the same damn book, and it was great... four action-packed, fun, wacky stories...

And Bryan Hitch???

Don't even get me started...

But, surprisingly, this really isn't very good. This is the third issue to come out and I was just sort of being patient through the first two... I was thinking, "Okay, they haven't quite found their rhythm yet, but when they do... Hoo-boy!!!"

And yes, I really do think things like "Hoo-boy!!!"

At any rate...

There are a lot of problems with this run, but I think the main one is that it doesn't feel like a Fantastic Four story... and that's a problem, because this is the Fantastic Four.

Example: Ben Grimm hooks up with a school-teacher in the first issue... his character is very smooth with the ladies, very much a... oh, what do the kids say?... oh, yeah... he's a mack daddy.

Well, that's not Ben Grimm. Ben Grimm spent a bazillion years dating a blind woman because he's so hideous that people, upon first seeing him, think he's a monster.

That's why he's called The Thing and not The Attractive, Well-Adjusted Orange Guy...

So, sure, you don't have to show him moping around all the time, because that does get tedious, but you can't suddenly having him comfortably flirting with attractive women... it doesn't work.

Example #2: Showing us, in the third issue, that Johnny Storm had sex with that super-villain. Y'know... it's not like I care. I'm definitely not in the camp of people who thinks that such things are inherently inappropriate for comics... but, at the same time, this is a comic that is allegedly for kids. It's the Fantastic Four. And Johnny Storm meets this woman, fights her for a few pages, and the next scene they're in bed together, it's the next morning, and we get to see her ridiculous "sexy" underwear that only women in comic-books actually wear...

I don't know... it just doesn't seem like The Fantastic Four is really the place for that... it's just not... appropriate. Or interesting.

But the single most annoying thing about this comic is the storyline... so, here's the deal... an ex-girlfriend of Reed Richards shows up and tells him that she needs his help... it turns out that she and her rich, scientist husband have joined a group called THE TRUST... and THE TRUST has discovered that, due to environmental damage, the Earth will be uninhabitable in about ten years, so they've found a way to get into some pocket universe or something and they are rebuilding the Earth and the moon...

Okay, so that's stupid. What do you stand on while you build the Earth? And how does the gravity of that work? And if there's no sun yet, because they haven't built it, how does the.. and the... and the...

So, that's stupid.

Then, because nothing's happened yet of any interest, the robot thing that's supposed to be in charge of security--it's called CAP--on this new world goes nuts and starts killing everyone... not so original, but whatever... but here's the REALLY stupid thing... so, S.H.I.E.L.D. sends their top 40 super-heroes... Storm and Wolverine and Hercules, etc. ... and we see that the robot has defeated all of them as the Fanstastic Four arrive.

Now, how does that work, exactly? It was build by the ex-girlfriend and her husband and their friend, but somehow it's powerful enough to defeat forty super-heroes? And there's no way to... y'know... shut it off?

Anyway, it's stupid to even talk about it because it's such a stupid story...

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

So, uh, that's my review.

And now, before I go, here are some good things coming up...

That is a cover for Jonah Hex #33.

I know, I know... who cares?

But, get this... the art for this one issue is by Darwyn Cooke.

Jonah Hex #33... I'm just sayin'...

Ambush Bug?

Ambush Bug.

AMBUSH BUG: YEAR NONE #1

Written by Keith Giffen & Robert Loren Fleming

Art by Giffen & Al Milgrom

Ambush Bug.

Keith Giffen.

Ambush Bug.

And, finally...

and...

All coming your way in July 2008.

And now, I must go do that thing that I do...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 8: Kvetching about those VERDAMMT Skrulls!!!

2008-04-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

My name is Paul Weissburg and I'll be your host as we journey together into the wonderful world of comic-book mayhem...

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Today we ponder that timeless question: Is it possible to be tired of a mega-comic-book-crossover-event before having read a single issue of it?

And the answer is... yes. Yes, it is.

Exhibit A: Secret Invasion.

I generally like Bendis' writing quite a lot and so when I first heard about this whole Secret Invasion thing, I was pretty psyched to read it...

Here we are, thought, just a few months later and I'm thoroughly sick of Secret Invasion without having actually read a single issue of it (still waiting to receive issue #1 in the mail)...

Why? Well, let's take a look at what's coming out in July 2008, in addition to the actual Secret Invasion limited series...

MIGHTY AVENGERS #16

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! ELEKTRA IS A SKRULL!! Words that have echoed through Marvel Comics for the last two years. But how did this happen and for how long has this been true? THE ANSWER IS HERE!

NEW AVENGERS #43

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! SPIDER-MAN VERSUS CAPTAIN AMERICA IN THE JUNGLES OF THE SAVAGE LAND! But who is who and what is what?? At least one of these people isn't who they say they are. Plus a huge chapter in the Secret Invasion story as more information as to how the Skrulls set their major plans in motion is revealed...

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #15

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"The Only Good Skrull..."With the NEW AVENGERS and the MIGHTY AVENGERS trapped in the Savage Land, it's up to the AVENGERS INITIATIVE to face off against the first major strike of the Skrull Invasion! There, on the field of battle, the cadet with the biggest secret has to choose how red (or green) his blood really is. Heroes will fall. Heroes will die. And one shall rise.

SECRET INVASION: FRONT LINE #1 (of 5)

Skrull warships fill the skies, and heroes battle for their very survival in the Savage Land, the citizens of New York struggle to survive the worst day of their lives. Brian Reed (CAPTAIN MARVEL) and Marco Castiello bring you a stunning ground-level look at Secret Invasion!

SECRET INVASION: RUNAWAYS/YOUNG AVENGERS #2 (of 3)

SECRET INVASION: FANTASTIC FOUR #3 (of 3)

BLACK PANTHER #39

“SEE WAKANDA, AND DIE,” PART 13-part tie-in to “Secret Invasion,” written by guest-writer Jason Aaron (WOLVERINE)!When the Skrulls come to town, it's all-out war in Wakanda. The alien invaders have war ships, advanced technology, super-powered soldiers and an army that outnumbers the Wakandans ten to one. Cake walk, right? Think again. There’s a reason Wakanda had never been conquered – and the Skrulls are about to find out why…the hard way.

CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #3

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN, PART 3 (of 4)It’s Science Fiction versus Fantasy as the war machines of the unstoppable Skrull army invade the magical realm of Avalon. Can Pete Wisdom and the rest of MI 13 keep the Skrulls from taking control of the world’s magic? And what is Spitfire doing to that Skrull on the cover?

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #119

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"SACRED INVASION" takes a shocking turn! Betrayed by one of their own, their strategy in shambles, Hercules and the God Squad find themselves marooned on a hostile world with countless hordes of alien slave-deities between them and their final goal of the Skrull pantheon!

SECRET INVASION #1 DIRECTOR’S CUT

Go behind the scenes of the event that will change the Marvel Universe forever! The shape-shifting alien race known as the Skrulls has secretly infiltrated every super-powered organization on Earth with one goal: full-scale invasion! Now, get closer to the action than ever before! This bonus edition reprints SECRET INVASION #1 in its entirety – plus the SECRET INVASION PROLOGUE, previously available only online, and other choice extras!

MS. MARVEL #29

SECRET INVASION continues here! Intergalactic war comes to the streets of Manhattan! As Ms. Marvel stands alone before the Skrull invasion, she must find the warrior within and stop an army of invincible killers!

THUNDERBOLTS #122

SECRET INVASION strikes Thunderbolts Mountain as Captain Marvel attacks!

NEW WARRIORS #14

The first chapter of a two-part SECRET INVASION story!Skrulls. Shape-changing aliens who have invaded Earth. Impersonating and replacing your friends and family. Maybe even taking the place of a brother. When an army of Skrulls arrives in Manhattan, Donyell Taylor asks: Was the Night Thrasher who died in Stamford, Connecticut really his brother? Or could it have been a Skrull?

X-FACTOR #33

Secret Invasion tie-in!

SHE-HULK #31

SECRET INVASION tie-in and X-FACTOR crossover issue! It’s double the trouble as our gamma-ray glamazon finds herself on a collision course with the mystery-solving X-Factor and hip-deep in the Skrull infestation! What does She-Hulk’s partner Jazinda – who just happens to be a Skrull – know about the invasion…and is she part of it?

SKRULLS! ONE-SHOT

Ever since the dawning of the Marvel Age of heroes, the Skrulls have been known as scheming, conniving, insidious interlopers in the affairs not just of Earth, but the whole universe. Now, get the Skrulls' side of the story! Who are they, what drives them, and what are their ultimate goals? Who are their heroes, and who are their villains? And what will become of their clash between religion and modernity - manifest in their relentless pursuit of the Earth as the final prize - when it spills over into universal mayhem? SKRULLS! helps answer these questions and gives you the clues to ask even more! Featuring detailed information about the full expanse of Skrull history – including biographical data of classic Skrulls through the ages, reprints of key moments from Skrull history and original material that will help form a deeper understanding of the Skrull race...all from a Skrull perspective. SKRULLS! is 64 pages and no ads full of shape-shifting secrets!

SKRULLS VS. POWER PACK #1 (of 4)

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Phew.

That's 18 titles in July that feature the frickin' frackin' Skrulls and their frickin' frackin' Secret Invasion of Earth.

Who needs that many comics about the Skrulls??? Seriously. Who does?

And that's just in one month!!! I also keep coming across articles about upcoming Skrull-related series and storylines... take a look...

-----------------------------
As announced by Marvel Comics at New York Comic Con this weekend, Brian Reed will be writing Secret Invasion: Spider-Man, a three-issue mini-series starting in August that focuses on how the cast of Amazing Spider-Man's "Brand New Day" is dealing with the onslaught of Skrulls.Reed isn't new to Skrull stories, having just wrapped up the Skrull-filled Captain Marvel mini-series and writing tie-ins for his Ms. Marvel ongoing, as well as being named as the writer of the upcoming Secret Invasion: Front Line mini-series.

-----------------------------

In ancient times people used to fear the sound of thunder believing that it indicated that the gods were mad at them. This summer, the Skrull invaders targeting Earth will have good reason to fear themselves, because it will mean that an angry god is coming after them. CBR News spoke with Marvel Comics editor Warren Simons about the three issue "Secret Invasion: Thor" mini-series which kicks off in August.

--------------------------

The Skrulls have seen some horrific things, from Galactus devouring their home world to years later witnessing the forces of the Annihilation Wave decimate much of the Skrull Empire. But this September, they'll know true horror when they run afoul of an unkillable man who just won't shut up! God help the Marvel Universe, because Deadpool AKA Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth, is back in a new ongoing series and he's going to play a key role "Secret Invasion." CBR News spoke with writer Daniel Way about his plans for "Deadpool."

-----------------------

Marvel’s newest character, Kinsey, made her debut in a live-action MySpace video, in which it was revealed her brother’s a Skrull! Her adventures continue in the free web comic, “Secret Invasion: Home Invasion.”

-----------------------

I know it seems like maybe I made up that last one to be funny (Their newest character is named Kinsey? And she made her debut in a live-action MySpace video???) but, no, that's a real thing and not an example of my razor-sharp wit.

At any rate, we're not even halfway throught the whole Secret Invasion storyline, which is going to be running all the way through November, and already I feel completely overwhelmed by the whole thing.

It's simply too much.

Incidentally, of the 18 Secret Invasion tie-ins that will be coming out in July 2008, I will be purchasing exactly one of them. And that one, of course, is The Incredible Hercules, which I enjoy so much that I am going to pick it up despite the Skrully-ness of the storyline.

Don't let me down, Herc!

-----------------------

On the more positive side, here are some upcoming Marvel titles that I think look just swell and that appear to have nothing at all to do with Skrulls...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #1
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by ALVIN LEE
Cover by ROGER CRUZ
It’s probably a bad sign when Hercules comes asking for a favor. It’s juuuuuust a little job that needs doing, but this is Hercules; isn’t he supposed to be REALLY good at doing labors himself? Before they know it, Iron Man, Spider-Man and the Hulk are stuck looking after Orthus and Cerberus, the two legendary hounds of the underworld! Luckily, the dogs learn to behave after chewing up only a few cars, a statue, and Iron Man, and finally they’re obedient enough for the Metro Dog Show! Only problem, Hercules wants the dogs back. Oh no, Herc, not before the Hulk gets his ribbon! It’s two dogs with five heads between them, and all the action you can handle.
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

See? Now doesn't that sound nice? And look... no Skrulls!

Meanwhile, here's my favorite cover out of all the Marvel solicitations for July 2008...

I think that's pretty damn cool.

MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #13
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by JUAN ROMANCANO SANTACRUZ
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Hulk and his traveling buddies (fun-loving teen, Rick Jones androllicking monkey, Monkey) have returned to New York City to find something amiss… all the super heroes have been transformed into ravenous, stumbling monsters! But can even the strength of the Hulk stand up to the unstoppable… MARVEL MUMMIES?!? Fan-fave Hulk creator Peter David comes to Marvel Adventures Hulk with unlucky issue 13, bringing our most mummified issue ever!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

And then there's this...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #41
Written by MARC SUMERAK
Penciled by RYAN STEGMAN
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Start your engines, Spider-Fans, because Peter Parker is about to hit the highway on one of the most exciting adventures of his young life -- Midtown High's Driver's Ed course! But the road to four-wheeled freedom becomes bumpy when the monstrous Man-Bull stampedes through the city streets! It's high-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

"High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Now THAT's what I want to read after a long day of banging my head against my frickin' frackin' dissertation... I don't want to read a magnus opus about the goddam Skrulls fighting Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel and the Fantastic Four and Power Pack and Deadpool and Thor and... and... and KINSEY!!! I don't want to read the past four years of Avengers stories rewritten from the perspective of the Skrull infiltrators...

What I want to read is, I want to read "High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Is that so much to ask?

Meanwhile, Jeff Parker's glorious return to Marvel Adventures: The Avengers continues with...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #26
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by LEONARD KIRK

It's the bottom of the ninth, the Avengers are down by two, two strikes down and bases loaded. The stakes for the Cosmic Pennant have never been higher. How will Galactus call this one? Okay... we admit. We have no idea what's going on in this story. Kirk drew the cover, and now Parker has to come up with something. THAT'S GOOD COMICS!!!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Yes.

Yes it is.

Anyway, I've gotta wrap this up for now, but before we go I wanted to direct your attention to another title coming from Marvel in July 2008 that I am VERY enthused about... and, no, it's not another Marvel Adventures all-ages title.

Check out the following, taken from a comicbookresources article...

---------------------------------------------

Stranger Than Fiction: Cornell on “Fantastic Four: True Story”

by Dave Richards, Staff Writer

There’s nothing more satisfying that just diving into a good book. This July, the First Family of Marvel Comics will do literally just that in the pages of the four-issue miniseries, “Fantastic Four: True Story,” by writer Paul Cornell (“Wisdom,” “Captain Britain and MI:13”) and artist Horacio Dominguez. CBR News spoke with Cornell about the series, which depicts the FF rubbing elbows with some of literature’s most legendary characters.

“True Story” begins with the Fantastic Four noticing a great sadness seems to have settled upon the world’s population. “Sue realizes it's got something to do with the way people interact with story. Nobody's reading anymore. Nobody's going to the movies. It's as if something bad has got into fiction,” Cornell explained. “So Reed has to invent an entire new field of human endeavor: it'll take him a few minutes and he'll need a screwdriver. This is the one where the FF ventures into fiction itself. And it's a bit like ‘Fables’ too. And I'm sure Neil Gaiman's done something with this as well, indeed. Listen, it's *Reed* that's got to invent a whole new field, not me!”

In “True Story,” the Fantastic Four visit and band together the forces of some of literature's most famous worlds to fight a bigger threat. Said Cornell, “It's swashbuckling, it's huge, it's great big galumphing *fun*, but also, gradually, these serious notes start to emerge, because there's stuff in fiction that you really wouldn't want to start having applied to you.”

He continued, “One of the lovely things about this story for me is that I get to play with these characters I love by having them interact with other characters I love. Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’ But it isn't like a school classics book, this is rollocking fun. Is that a word? And I get to comment on the relationships amongst the FF using the literary characters. Lots of jokes. Lots of cool set pieces. Extraordinary literary violence.”

For obvious reasons, the FF will only get a chance to traverse the worlds of literature’s most enduring works. “Something prevents them from visiting the more recent worlds, a barrier which cuts off about seventy five years after the death of the authors in question. No, I'm not being flippant, that limitation about copyright is very much part of the story,” Cornell said.

Among the public domain characters seen in “True Story” is Dante, the writer and narrator of “The Divine Comedy.” “[He’s] their guide in the world of fiction, and continually annoyed at being so,” Cornell said. “We crash through the walls of ‘Ivanhoe’, ‘Wind in the Willows’, and see, ahem, Dracula vs. Frankenstein! Literally. And many more, as they say.”

--------------------------------

"Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’"

Is there any way in the entire world that that is NOT going to be awesome???

I don't think so, really.

So, there you have it... I may be thoroughly Skrulled out, but I still love ya, Marvel Comics. You're still my drug dealer of choice!!!

[There, there... I like you too, DC. You just need to cut the crap with all your Crisis continuity-incest and stop butchering all my favorite characters...]

-------------------

As we bring this column to a close, I'd like to direct your attention to something rather remarkable that I stumbled upon earlier today. This is a blog by a comic-book reviewer, Greg Burgas, but it's nothing to do with comics. This is a blog that he's writing about his daughter, Mia, who was badly injured in a car wreck five years ago. This first paragraph will give a good sense of what this is without committing you to anything...

Today in 2003 I was in a car accident. Unfortunately, my daughter was in the back seat with me. Yes, it's the five-year anniversary of the event that changed our lives. As I do every year, I want to focus more on her progress rather than worrying about the event itself. It's just shocking to me that it's actually been five years.

That sounds like it would be incredibly depressing, I know, but that wasn't really how it felt. It's a tragic situation, yes, but... I don't know... the honesty with which he wrote about what's going on and how he and his wife deal with it... I just found it very touching, not in the schmaltzy Hallmark Card kind of way, but in a real way. Reading his brief column seemed like the "real"-est five minutes of my whole day.

Anyway, here's the link... and here's another one titled "Therapists and their motives" that I also found very thought-provoking. And, no, it's not some diatribe or conspiracy theory about therapists... it's just some musing about why the various physical and psychological therapists that are looking after his daughter sometimes seem to have conflicting goals... I thought it was pretty interesting.

At any rate... here's hoping that you are having a wonderful mid-April and that you managed to get outside and enjoy the BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL weather today... it was a lovely day and I'm feeling mighty grateful that summer is--finally!--here.

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 7: Where have all the Hooplas gone...?

2008-04-06T00:54:00.000-07:00

Dearest Hoopla! reader...

You are, perhaps, wondering of late, "Where's my Hoopla!? Is there nothing in this frackin' world that I can depend on?"

Well, I'll tell ya...

The problem, as I see it, is that someone recently turned up the speed on the day-making machine. Used to be that I'd wake up, have some leisurely breakfast and coffee, putz around my apartment for an hour or two, shower, then head off to school to work on my dissertation or to teach or whatever... I'd work from around 1pm to maybe 5 or 6pm, come home for a quick dinner, go back to school and work some more until around 10 or 11pm, at which time I'd come home, watch a Netflix movie or show, and go to bed.

That gave me almost 10 hours of "sitting in the office" time, which made it relatively feasible to put out a regular column...

Now, however, things have changed...

Now, my days look like this...

Wake up, drink some coffee and, until about a week ago, eat some breakfast (I've got some wacky stomach virus that makes eating a very non-rewarding act... good news, I'm losing weight... bad news, there are maybe three food items I can actually digest: potatoes, white rice, and bread... and I"m getting pretty darn tired of all of 'em...)

But I digress.

Wake up, drink coffee, go to the office around noon or 1pm, then turn around and realize the day is over.

What's up with that???

A part of it, certainly, is teaching classes... it's very fun and very rewarding, but it does take up a bit of time...

Also, there's the ever-looming dissertation... I'm trying to have it finished by the end of the summer, which is a pretty ambitious schedule... particularly since I had a two-month case of Writer's Block which set me back substantially... I'm finally getting back on track, but I've got a LOT of catching up to do...

But DO bear with me, oh sweetest of all Hoopla! readers... I have not forgotten you... nor have I forgotten the way your hair smells or the sparkle in your eye... that little noise you make when you're chewing food... the one hair that dangles from within your nostril, oh so coyly...

I have not forgotten you and I shall not forsake you.

Hoopla! will be back... and - Lo! - it shall be like a mighty river... pouring through your living room and dampening your carpets... extinguishing the comic-book-review-craving fire that burns within you like a ... like a thing that burns... ferociously... yet which is not in any way related to any sort of sexual disease...

Hoopla! shall return, full of reviews and good humor... and once more we shall laugh and cry together as we ponder the imponderables together...

Don't lose hope, Dear Reader! The best is yet to come...

- Paul, 4:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, hungry for a potato

Hoopla! - Episode 6: Back from Spring Break

2008-03-17T11:55:00.001-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Just got back from a very lovely spring break with the even lovelier Mie... we spent a few days on Emerald Isle, NC, walking along the coast of the Atlantic Ocean, collecting sea-shells, and being all romantic-y...

Oh, yes... and reading comic-books!

(Well, I did... she's not much of a comic-book person... or, at least, not American comic-books)

Anyway, I've got a bazillion comic reviews that I want to get to, but it's going to have to wait a few days as I try to get caught up on school-stuff and work-stuff...

In the meantime, though, I thought I'd show off this very cool cover to Final Crisis #2...

I had my doubts about picking up this series, based on my complete dis-interest in DC's multiple Crisis of the Convoluted Continuity series, spin-offs, and cross-overs, but I'm starting to think that this might actually be cool...

Art thou dubious? If so, read on, dear doubter...

FINAL CRISIS #2

Written by Grant Morrison

Art and covers by J.G. Jones

Meet Japan's number one pop culture heroes, the Super Young Team and their languid leader, Most Excellent Superbat! Join legendary wrestler Sonny Sumo and super escape artist Mister Miracle as they team to face the offspring of the Anti-Life Equation! See Earth's superheroes mourn one of their oldest allies! Witness costumed criminals sinking to new depths of cowardice and depravity as Libra takes things too far! Uncover the doomsday secrets of the poisoned city of Blüdhaven! Learn the shocking identity of the prime suspect in the murder of a god! And read on if you dare as Batman becomes the first of Earth's champions to face the Fallen of Apokolips. All this and a spectacular return from the dead...Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones' multiverse-spanning epic continues with bombshell after bombshell in FINAL CRISIS #2 — “Ticket to Blüdhaven”!

On sale June 25 • 2 of 7 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Most Excellent Super Bat? Sonny Sumo?

Yeah, this just might be pretty good, after all...

-

Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 5: DC Comics - Back in the game!!!

2008-02-25T15:20:00.000-08:00

"...And there came a day

Lo, after much crap had been published

When the Powers That Be did say "Enow!"

"Let us not continue to peddle this drivel but,

Rather, let us put out some good comics

By talented writers and artists

And without quite so much Continuity Incest

And blood-shed."

And the clouds, they did clear

And the sun, it did shine

And the people were free to purchase DC Comics

Once again..."

- from the book of Hoopla!

--------------------------------------

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

As you may have guessed from the above, I'm feeling pretty happy with DC these days... after a deluge of crap, they're finally starting to put out some comics that I actually want to read!

HUZZAH!!!

I'm not that difficult, really. Not everything has to be Alan Moore level of greatness. I don't require brilliance from my Justice League of America or cutting-edge innovation in my Green Lantern.

I'm not asking them to re-invent the wheel... heck, I'd like it if they'd just learn to leave that wheel alone! Stop knocking it over on its side and setting it in flames and calling the dark, toxic fumes that emerge from the melting rubber "entertainment."

All I'm asking for is a little Smash! Bang! Pow! That's all. Sure, maybe there was a time when I wanted more from my comics... when I felt a little bit bored with the same old, same old... but the past few years of DC have shown me the error of my ways.

I didn't know how good I had it!

I don't want them to make "real" changes with "long-lasting" effects! I don't want them to try to resolve the friggin' continuity every ten minutes. Yes, the continuity makes no sense.

It's okay!!!

Just please... in the name of God... leave it be!!!

I just want to read a good comic-book.

Is that so much to ask?

Well, it looks like DC is finally getting the message (after only one year of plummeting sales) and in May of 2008 they've got a whole bunch of nifty stuff coming out...

Stuff like... this...

BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #17

Written by Fabian Nicieza

Art and cover by Kevin Maguire

Kicking off a 5-part story by Fabian Nicieza (X-Men) and Kevin Maguire (Justice League INTERNATIONAL)! Batgirl crosses paths with the Catwoman for the first time... and that's bad luck, especially for Batgirl's father: Commissioner Gordon! On sale May 14 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I've never purchased an issue of Batman Confidential before, but holy shluh-moley!!! Kevin Maguire is a pretty easy sell... there's not much that I wouldn't buy with his art in it. The fact that it stars the early version of Batgirl and is written by Fabian Nicieza... well, that's just the icing on the proverbial cake, as the kids like to say.

I hereby predict... quality!!!

Meanwhile, over in Batman and the Outsiders, which I've been enjoying in a good-but-not-great kind of way, we have this nifty cover of Metamorpho...

Who wouldn't want to buy a comic about Metamorpho being pulled into a Washing Machine of Doom???

Er, that is a Washing Machine of Doom he's in, isn't it?

May also brings us the first issue of Final Crisis, which I'd originally intended to skip, but I read an interview with Grant Morrison in which he promised that it will have nothing at all to do with re-booting the DC universe again...

Neat cover, anyway. Very striking.

Speaking of Grant Morrison, one project that I'm not so excited about is the upcoming "Batman R.I.P." storyline, of which this "splitting headache" cover marks the second issue...

That was a grammatically twisty moment, wasn't it?

"...one project that I'm not so excited about is the upcoming "Batman R.I.P." storyline, of which this 'splitting headache' cover marks the second issue..."

Yeah, I don't know about that. If one of my students tried to pass something like that by me, you can be sure I'd circle it and in the margin I'd write "Awkward grammar."

I always say "Awkward grammar" instead of "grammatically awkward" because I'm not actually certain how to spell "grammatically." Does it end with an -ally or an -ly? I don't know. And I'm too damn lazy, er, busy to look it up.

Anyway, yeah, haven't really been enjoying Morrison's run on Batman, which kind of surprised me. It's interesting, too, because I just read this interview with him in which he discussed it and, reading the interview, I kept thinking, "Wow. That sounds really cool."

I had to keep reminding myself that I'd already read around ten issues of the damn thing and I didn't really enjoy any of them.

So, go figure.

And you know, back in the day I'd feel more compelled to pick something like this up just to find out what the big event is... I mean, obviously they're not really going to kill Batman, but something is going to happen... and I'm just naive enough to think it's going to somehow be important or noteworthy. Maybe he'll lose an arm? Turn red? Get married? Get divorced? Make a deal with the devil? Get a fourth... no, fifth Robin?

I'm curious, sure. But the great thing about the world today is that we have the internet... which means that I'm going to know the big secret approximately ten seconds after the first person reads that issue... so, even if I purchased "Batman R.I.P.," I'd know what happened long before I actually read it.

So, that's cool.

Just think, if we'd had the internet back during the days of Knightfall... oh, the money I could have saved...

This is a tough one.

The above is the first issue of a 12-issue Batman story illustrated by Kelly Jones.

Kelly Jones draws a rockin' good Batman, despite the rather dopey looking cover illustration.

[And seriously... GREEN? Whose bright idea was it to place a NEON GREEN background behind Batman??? Um, people? He comes out at night. That means you can use black, dark blue, or maybe a dark crimson if you want to suggest blood. Those are your options. You may NOT use SUNNY YELLOW, JOLLY ORANGE, PINK of any kind, or NEON GREEN.]

Anyway, it might be good... but it's written by Steve Niles and, nothing against the guy, but I've not yet read a comic by him that I thought was any good.

Yes, the concept for 30 Days of Night was very clever. I acknowledge that.

But his actual writing...?

Mediocre, at best.

So, I just don't know...

BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT #1

Written by Steve Niles

Art and cover by Kelley Jones

"There are things that go 'bump' in the night. Be thankful that one of those things is on our side…" When the full moon rises and casts its eerie glow over the land, the creatures of the night come out to hunt and feast and prey on the innocent citizens of Gotham City, and only one man stands in their way: The Batman. These are the bizarre and frightening case files of the Dark Knight Detective, featuring grave-robbers, men making monsters, night terrors, and the debut of an all-new moonlight monster known only as Midnight. In this fatal first issue by the creative team of Steve Niles (30 Days of Night, SIMON DARK) and Kelley Jones (BATMAN: RED RAIN), Batman will come face-to-face with the Master of Fear himself - but just what is the Scarecrow after? And what does it have to do with the Axeman? Could it be some elaborate scheme to trap the Bat? Be here at the beginning - and beware! On sale May 28 o 1 of 12 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I just like this next cover... I like that giant, grinning alien coming at you, just asking for a hug...

"Marty... how are ya...?"

That's what I imagine him saying, somehow.

And now, Best Cover of the Year...

I've not yet read a single issue of Tiny Titans, and yet already it's my favorite comic-book series in the world.

Go figure.

This next cover, which I actually find rather non-descript, is for the first issue of House of Mystery, which I think is going to be very, very cool.

Here's the solicitation:

HOUSE OF MYSTERY #1

Written by Matthew Sturges & Bill Willingham

Art by Luca Rossi

Cover by Sam Weber, Variant cover by Bernie Wrightson

Matthew Sturges, writer of the Eisner-nominated JACK OF FABLES, and his JACK co-writer Bill Willingham, proudly unlock the doors to the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, a new ongoing series that reinvents a classic DC Comics concept. HOUSE OF MYSTERY focuses on five characters trapped in a supernatural bar, trying to solve the mystery of how and why they're imprisoned there. Each one has a terrible past they'd like to forget, and with no books, newspapers or TV allowed in the House, they face an eternity of boredom. But stories become the new currency, and fortunately, the House attracts only the finest storytellers.

In addition to the ongoing trials and struggles of the five unfortunate souls trapped within the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, illustrated by superstar artist Luca Rossi, each issue in the first storyline also includes a short tale, as told by one of the customers, written by Willingham and illustrated by a host of fine guest artists, including two-time Eisner Award nominee Ross Campbell (WATERBABY, Wet Moon), SANDMAN fan favorite and multiple Eisner winner Jill Thompson, and classic horror artist Bernie Wrightson, whose first published work was in House of Mystery #179. This series is topped off with ethereal, jaw-dropping covers from Sam Weber (The New Yorker, The New York Times, Time Magazine)and a stunning variant cover by Wrightson on the debut issue.

"This is a book where you can have a pirate, a psychic detective, a spaceman, a French romantic poet and an NYU film student sitting at a table having a beer together. It's a writer's dream come true."— Matthew Sturges

“Let's be perfectly clear: There isn't just one mystery in the new House of Mystery. It's actually chock-full of mysteries, all of which will be thrilling and exciting as they unfold over the course of the series.”— Bill Willingham

On sale May 7 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS

Okay, so that looks... cool.

And on that rather in-eloquent note, I must to be going...

There's loads more stuff I was hoping to cover, but the time... it does not permit...

On a quick, more personal note, I would just like for the record to show that this month... that is, February of 2008, has been one of the suckiest months I have lived through in many, many years... and I am glad to see it fading into the distance behind me...

Here's hoping that March is a little bit more user-friendly and a little bit less full of cactus-in-the-eye moments...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 4: Orgasmic Comics in May!!!

2008-02-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Sweet Christmas!!! The solicitations for DC and Marvel books coming out in May of 2008 were released yesterday and they are... awe-inspiring.

I am inspired. And shocked and awed.

DC's solicitations are better-than-average, yes, but Marvel... Marvel truly loves me. I always suspected it, but now I know this to be true.

The proof...? See for yourself:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #559

Written by DAN SLOTT

Penciled by MARCOS MARTIN

Cover by ED MCGUINNESS

Peter Parker: Paparazzi! Part 1 of 3"The Money Shot"The DB, New York's trashiest tabloid, has just hired the sleaziest, most muckraking, lowlife paparazzi of them all...PETER PARKER?! Say it ain't so, true believer! Also in this ish, J. Jonah Jameson finds inner peace and harmony...(Hey, it could happen! Maybe.) All this and the first ever livestreaming super-villain: Screwball! Dan Slott returns to Spidey, and he's bringing Marcos Martin (DOCTOR STRANGE: THE OATH) with him!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #560

Written by DAN SLOTT

Pencils and cover by MARCOS MARTIN

Peter Parker: Paparazzi! Part 2 of 3"Flat Out Crazy"Are Pete's paparazzi pics inspiring a super celebrity stalker? Is he responsible for all of her grisly acts? Even if he is, what can Spider-Man do about it? How can anyone stop the flatout freaky powers of Paper Doll? Also: Miss this issue, and you'll miss out on SOMETHING YOU'VE ALL BEEN ASKING FOR!!! Write it down, Spider-fans, ASM #560!!!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

Hmm... Dan Slott writing Amazing Spider-Man? Marcos Martin doing the art? A new villain named Paper Doll?

And SOMETHING I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR...?

Dude, I'm so there...

AVENGERS/INVADERS #1 (of 12)

Written by Jim Krueger and Alex Ross

Penciled by Steve Sadowski

Cover by ALEX ROSS

Legends Live Again. The original Invaders (Captain America , Bucky , Human Torch , Toro , and the Sub-Mariner) return in a twelve issue maxi-series by the award winning team behind EARTH X, Justice and Project Superpowers .The greatest super-team of World War II finds themselves transported from the battlefields of the Second World War to a future they never imagined! Now, the Invaders find themselves confronted by two teams of Avengers who want desperately to believe these heroes are who they say they are, while Tony Stark faces his greatest challenge since the Civil War as he must deal with the “return” of Steve Rogers. Confronted by a world they barely recognize, the Invaders will have to show two teams of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes just what kind of power, courage and sheer determination it took to defeat the forces of unrelenting evil in the Twentieth century. In fact…they may just have to do it again in the Twenty-First.32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

On the one hand, I was thoroughly unimpressed by Alex Ross, Krueger and Sadowski on the first issue of Project: Superpowers. On the other hand, I really enjoyed Justice and, quite frankly, this looks awesome.

So, I am cautiously optimistic...

I believe I've already mentioned that I'm loving Brubaker's run on Captain America, so I'll simply add that the above cover kicks some serious butt.

Okay... so the above cover is rather "meh," but I think this series is going to be super-deluxe fun. Why? Well, let's see what they have to say for themselves...

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #1
Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING
Penciled by PAUL PELLETIER
Cover by CLINT LANGLEY
Launching out of ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST, Marvel’s sci-fi heroes unite to protect the cosmos! Back-to-back Annihilation wars have weakened the boundaries of our universe. Dark gods and monsters are seeping through the cracks, reigning horror upon those still reeling from the recent calamities. In the face of terror, who stands to defend a desperate universe? Star-Lord and his squad of butt-kickers – the modern day Guardians of the Galaxy! You’ve heard that ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST rocks – the guy at the comic shop keeps telling you to try NOVA – well, now’s your chance to experience the glory that writers Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and artist Paul Pelletier can unleash! All this…plus a wise-cracking raccoon and a telepathic dog! C’mon, people, time to lock and load!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

I'm loving Abnett and Lanning on Nova and this looks like it may be even better, with characters like Rocket Racoon and Cosmo, the telepathic Russian dog starring in it...

Here's a pretty good interview with the authors to help get you psyched...

And here's a very brief excerpt from that interview... a promo by editor Bill Roseman...

“If you want to see Marvel continue to explore a variety of genres, give issue #1 a chance,” Rosemann stated. “And if you like what you see, spread the word. Yes, ‘Guardians’ will push all those superhero buttons that we all love -- troubled heroes, sinister challenges, emotional intrigue and jaw-dropping cliff-hangers-- but it's also a sci-fi book packed with amazing worlds, mind-blowing technology, wild life forms and intense space warfare. And like all good sci-fi storytellers, the creators will comment on humanity with visuals and metaphors that will hopefully be thought provoking and maybe even controversial. And, who am I kidding, if you just want to see bad-ass fighters, hot femme fatales, a high-tech HQ in a decapitated Celestial head, a telepathic Russian cosmonaut dog, and a smart-mouth raccoon with a penchant for heavy armaments, we'll have all that too.”

And then there's this...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #24
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by LEONARD KIRK
FAN FAVE JEFF PARKER RETURNS!Giant-Girl hates Spider-Man. Spider-Man hates Ant-Man. Ant-Man hates Iron Man. Iron Man hates...everyone. Where is all this hate coming from? Some kind of... MONGER, perhaps?32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Why is Marvel so good to me...?

And then there's this...

It may not be immediately apparent why the above is of any interest. Let's take a look at the soliciation, shall we...?

CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI: 13 #1

Written by PAUL CORNELL

Penciled by LEONARD KIRK

Cover by BRYAN HITCH

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!The Skrull Invasion isn’t restricted to the US. When the Skrull Invasion hits England, only Captain Britain and MI: 13 stand in their way. Can they find out what the Skrulls are after before it’s too late? 32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

Hm. Nope. Still not clear.

Well, here's the thing...

Paul Cornell (the writer) did a limited series about a year ago, Wisdom, which starred PeteWisdom and which received rave reviews from all the right people but which sold about 4 copies.

I've never read it because by the time I heard that it was good, it was already almost over and, honestly, it was a bit too expensive to jump into at that point.

This, however, is a sort-of follow-up to that limited series and, based on this interview, I think it's going to be pretty darn neat. And the extra-good news is that the trade paperback that collects the limited series is relatively cheap... over at mailordercomics.com, they have it for a mere $13.19 (originally $21.99), which is a pretty good price considering it was a six issue mini-series and I think each individual issue was $3.50 or thereabouts.

So, I'm pre-ordering the TPB for April and then will be fully and utterly prepared to enjoy CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI: 13 #1 when it comes out in May.

I've got a hunch about this one, folks...

Oh, and here's an interview with the writer/artist/editor...

Meanwhile...

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #117

Written by GREG PAK & FRED VAN LENTE

Penciled by RAFA SANDOVAL

Cover JOHN ROMITA JR., KLAUS JANSON & DEAN WHITE

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!The Greek Goliath gathers the most powerful super-team ever assembled to counter-attack the Skrull gods! Face front, True Believers, and prepare for the pantheon-pounding premiere of... THE GOD SQUAD!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

I'm enjoying this title a lot and I feel certain that the pantheon-pounding premier of THE GOD SQUAD will only make it better...

And now, here's perhaps my favorite solicitation text of the month...

OMEGA: THE UNKNOWN #8 (of 10)
Written by JONATHAN LETHEM & KARL RUSNAK
Pencils & Cover by FAREL DALRYMPLE & PAUL HORNSCHEMEIER
The Overthinker sings The Ballad of The Bearded Superhero, while the Fonziebot takes a short walk off a tall skyscraper, and Alex meets the real Nowhere Man and battles his robotics professor on the Columbia University quad -- all this and more, as the story of Jonathan Lethem and Farel Dalrymple's OMEGA THE UNKNOWN saga approaches its mad climax!32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

How can you possibly not want to read this???

Honestly, they had me at The Ballad of The Bearded Superhero.

Anyway, there's a ton of other good stuff coming from Marvel in May, but my poor little head is getting weary. I'll add a bit more commentary on what Marvel's coming up in May, however, and a look at some of DC and Image's most interesting upcoming books in a very short while...

How short?

VERY short.

Until then, please to be enjoying the life as best you can, as I too will be doing the same...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 3: In which comics are reviewed and much fun is had by all

2008-02-13T08:31:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

I'll tell you what... the past couple of weeks have been rather sucky. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that I apologize for the long delay between columns and that I will now try to make it up to you by providing you with a veritable smorgasbord (spelling?) of comic-book reviews...

Ready? Let's begin...

The Twelve #1

Written by J. Michael Straczynski

Art by Chris Weston

Published by Marvel Comics

Project Superpowers #0

Story by Alex Ross and Jim Krueger

Art by Alex Ross, Doug Klauba, and Stephen Sadowski

Published by Dynamite Entertainment

[And, no, that's not the company that used to publish Dynamite magazine back when I was in junior high school... alas.]

12 (public domain) mystery-men from the World War II era are placed, through plot contrivances, into the year 2008 in what feels very much like a Watchmen rip-off.

I'm sure I'm not the first to note that The Twelve and Project Superpowers are extremely similar to each other in terms of the basic concept. The fact that the first issue of each was published at more or less the same time is sort of unfortunate as it gives one a sense of "been there, done that" that goes beyond the obvious Watchmen comparisons.

Are they any good?

I thought The Twelve was actually pretty neat. I'm not a big Straczynski fan, but he does a pretty nice job here of introducing twelve characters in a very limited space and making me want to read more about them. One of my favorites is the two-panel intro to the Witness:

As for the Witness, he didn't have any powers, just his fists... but he could remember every evil act he'd ever seen, and had sworn to avenge them all. On the way in, he said he'd just come from a place called Auschwitz.

No powers.

But not one of us could look him in the eye without feeling like we'd peered into something dark and angry and very, very dangerous.

My other favorite character from this first issue is Electro, a big robot controlled by someone halfway around the world. Not only is he a neat character, but I absolutely love that someone spray painted Berlin or Bust! on his chest-plate.

The Twelve may be highly derivative of other comics that have come before it, but it's a heck of a fun read and the art by Chris Weston is very, very cool.

Less satisfying was Project Superpowers which, quite frankly, didn't do a thing for me. The interior art has that not-very-dynamic quality of Alex Ross' painted work but without the majestic grandeur that, in my opinion, more than compensates for the static compositions. It's a muddy, messy looking book that really lacks the kind of oomph! this sort of series really needs.

As for the story...?

Meh.

Something about Pandora's Box being real and a lead character who is such a total sucker that he's conned into believing that imprisoning all of his former teammates will somehow rid the world of evil and who somehow fails to notice that it didn't work until a ghost-y thing that looks like the American Flag points it out to him.

Project Superpowers also fails to flesh out any of the characters beyond our lead, the Fighting Yank, who is a moron and the Green Lama, whose only character trait thus far is that he's a Buddhist and so is very calm and serene.

Whatever.

As for the others, I can't recall their names and have a hard time recalling what any of them looked like, despite the fact that I read it last night. I'm not sure what powers, if any, they have. I couldn't tell you a thing about their personalities beyond the fact that the Green Lama is calm and the Fighting Yank is a schmuck.

Blah.

Captain America #34

Written by Ed Brubaker

Art by Steve Epting and Butch Guice

Published by Marvel Comics

The first issue with the new Captain America is, in my humble opinion, a big success.

It would have been easy to f*** this up. When I saw that the new Captain America was carrying a gun, I had this awful, sinking feeling that we were going to do the storyline where a super-hero is replaced by another, more violent super-hero and, at first, it seems like a good thing because he isn't bogged down by old-fashioned rules and stuff but then we all learn a very valuable lesson when it turns out that it's wrong to shoot people and be a violent sociopath and so the original hero has to return and battle his replacement and, at the end, everyone says "You're the only person who could ever be Insert-Name-of-Superhero and we will all do a fancy dance to celebrate your return."

Brubaker doesn't seem to be going this route, though, and god bless him for that! Instead, I thought he did a fantastic job of giving the reader a sense of how difficult it would be to try to take the place of Captain America and how all the stuff that looked so easy (diving into hordes of evil-doers and smashing them over the head with that shield) would actually be incredibly difficult. By the end of the issue, I actually felt the exhaustion and nervous tension coming off the page.

Or maybe that was Mie. I'm not sure.

Anyway, nicely done Mr. Brubaker... and VERY nice work on the whole plot-line of the Red Skull attacking the US through assaults on its economy and EXTRA ESPECIALLY cool to have the real-life mortgage crisis incorporated into the storyline.

Good stuff.

Youngblood #1

Written by Joe Casey

Art by Derec Donovan

Published by Image

Joe Casey has written some great comics over the years, but this isn't one of them. Part of the problem is the art; I have really enjoyed Donovan's art in the past, but it just doesn't fit here. I really think the premise of Youngblood is so closely intertwined with the art style of original creator Rob Liefeld that you need an artist who can match that kind of manic energy to make it feel like the same group. Derec Donovan is not that artist.

More importantly, there's nothing here we haven't seen a million times before. Reading Youngblood #1 made me want to go back and re-read Peter Milligan and Michael Allred's X-Force/X-Statix series, which is essentially the same thing but a million times more interesting.

I thought it was a particularly bad idea, incidentally, to include a few reprinted pages of the original series at the back of the book, as it simply highlights the lack of energy in the new series.

But what do I know? I'm just a bill...

Wonder Woman #16

Written by Gail Simone

Art by Terry and Rachel Dodson... and Ron Randall

Published by DC Comics

I know that Gail Simone is doing her damnedest to make Wonder Woman a viable character once again and I appreciate that... but somehow the end result tastes like flat cola.

It's not bad, per se, and there are bits and pieces of this story that have made me smile, but there has been no moment that's really taken me by surprise... no sense of awe. No thrills.

This is a title that I keep forgetting is being published until the latest issue arrives at my door. Which it won't be doing anymore, because I've dropped it.

Sorry, Gail. I respect what you're trying to do with the character, but it simply isn't working for me.

Ultimate Spider-Man #118

Story by Brian Michael Bendis

Art by Stuart Immonen

Published by Marvel Comics

This, on the other hand, is sheer bliss.

Here's what I've noticed about this series...

The best issues are the ones where there's no fight and no super-villain but, instead, Bendis focuses on the soap opera elements of the book.

Also, the beginnings of his story-arcs are always much better than the endings. The endings usually amount to nothing more than a big fight, which is not Bendis' strong point as a writer.

Anyway, I really loved this. Great character development (especially for Kong!) and a lot of genuinely funny stuff.

Thank you, Bendis.

Astonishing X-Men #24

Written by Joss Whedon

Art by John Cassaday

Published by Marvel Comics

My god... are they still on that planet?

Superman/Batman #44 and 45

Story by Michael Green

Art by Shane Davis

Published by DC Comics

These are the first issues of this series I've picked up in a long, long time. In fact, I think the last time I bought an issue of Superman/Batman was near the beginning of Jeph Loeb's final arc; by that time I'd completely lost interest and nothing that followed really compelled me to look again. Oh, except for a couple of issues with art by Ethan van Sciver that I just remembered. The story was pretty forgettable (something about all the aliens on Earth turning evil?) but the art, it was pretty.

Anyway, I just got these two issues because I liked the cover to #45 (Aquaman kicking Superman's butt underwater) and because I am a whimsical fellow, given to sudden flights of fancy.

Are they any good?

Sure, they're alright. The opening to issue #44 is pretty darn funny, the interaction between the two lead characters is very nicely done, the basic premise (Superman decides that there's a heck of a lot of green kryptonite on the planet and maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to dispose of it before it's used to kill him) makes perfect sense, and I think Shane Davis' art is quite good. It's not the kind of art that makes me say "Zowie!!! I'm going to buy anything this guy does!!!" but it's perfectly fine and I hope he gets a more regular assignment soon (Justice League, maybe?).

I thought the whole "We have learned a valuable lesson" moment at the end of #45 was a bit dopey, but overall I thought this was well worth the time and money.

---------------------------------

Okay... so, that was a lot of comic-book reviews I just threw your way... are you feeling okay? Do you need to sit down, maybe?

As for me, I'm going to HOPE that my month improves... so far, February sucks. I'm sorry, but there it is.

Until next time, here's hoping that all your four-color dreams come true...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 2: What looks good in March 2008? (A-J)

2008-01-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

It may seem like it's been a while since I've written a new column, but that's not entirely true... I've started writing a couple of columns, but neither of them is finished, yet, and so the end result has been that, to the untrained eye, it would appear that I have not been fulfilling my Hoopla! obligations...

But now you know the uncanny truth...

So, what looks good in March...? Well, I'll tell ya...

ACTION COMICS #863

I am totally enjoying the six-part Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes! storyline and this is the concluding chapter. So, this is pretty much a no-brainer...

And, yes, Gary Frank's art does look very different than in his previous work, and I suppose that I do prefer the earlier stuff, but I have no problem with what he's doing here... Gary Frank's second-best is still pretty damn good...

ANGEL AFTER THE FALL #5

I hated the first issue, but the second one was better. Still not completely satisfying, but I think I'll give it a little bit longer to pull together...

If nothing else, I really enjoyed the Spike: Shadow Puppets limited series by the same writer and artist, so that suggests that this series may improve over time...

ANNIHILATION CONQUEST #5 (OF 6)

Enjoying this. 'Nuff said.

BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #5

Chuck Dixon.

It is not a great series, by any stretch of the imagination, but it is consistently enjoyable, I think...

BLUE BEETLE #25

A neat little series. I first got interested in this because of Mark Waid and George Perez's use of the character in their Brave and the Bold story. Again, this series isn't the pinnacle of comic-book genius, but it's a good time...

BRAVE AND THE BOLD #11

I am SO bummed out that George Perez is leaving this title.

So very, very bummed...

But, Jerry Ordway aint nothing to sneeze at, either, and I suspect this will continue to be great fun as long as Mark Waid is doing the writing...

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #12

That Faith story by Brian K. Vaughan? That was damn good stuff...

Hopefully, they can maintain that level of quality...

CAPTAIN AMERICA #36

COMIC BOOK COMICS #1

Okay, so... what is Comic Book Comics, you may be wondering...

Well, I'll tell you...

Not so very long ago, Fred Van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey published a very quirky, funny and--yes--educational comic titled Action Philosophers. Essentially, Action Philosophers was a series of brief summaries of the world's most famous philosophers... a bit of biography, a bit about what they actually contributed to the wonderful world of philosophy, and a lot of good, snarky humor.

Action Philosophers recently ended, as they finally ran out of philosophers that they wanted to talk about, but Comic Book Comics is their new series, and it's all about the history of comic-books.

Here is a preview of the series and here's a great interview with Lente about Action Philosophers, M.O.D.O.K.'s 11, his Marvel Adventure stories, and Comic Book Comics.

Among other things, Lente says this about the new series...

Well, we were trying to come up with a follow-up series for “Action Philosophers!” and what I wanted to avoid was “Classics Illustrated.” I really didn't want to adapt the major works of novelists or the stories of films. It's one thing to “adapt” a work of philosophy, it's another thing to re-tell somebody else's story.

And I've done a lot of work for Museum of Comics and Cartoon Art (MoCCa). I now serve on the Board of Advisors there. So I've amassed a huge library about comics and it just sort of hit me one day: no one has ever tried a non-fiction comic about comics history before. And what's great about comics fandom is everyone is into their own corner of the history: this guy loves Will Eisner, this guy loves Marvel, this guy loves EC horror stuff, etc. But we're going to cover everything.

So, there you go.

Buy it. Love it. Polybag it.

CURSED PIRATE GIRL #1 (OF 6)

In my last column I showed some of the very beautiful preview pages... it's the one that looks like it was illustrated back in the 1800s.

It's gonna be mighty good, methinks...

FABLES #71

FANTASTIC FOUR #555

Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch.

GREEN LANTERN #29

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #115

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #43

Blue Beetle and Booster Gold.

Written by Keith Giffen.

Um... yes.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #14

Loving this series... loving the art, loving the "Kingdom Come" storyline, loving that ultra-tragic Superman from another world...

Really, really enjoying this series.

Well, that's only about half of the list of stuff I'm pre-ordering for March, but I need to get going... my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Meredith, and I are going to make some dinners at this place, Thyme Out, where you go and make dinners and then bring them home and eat them over the course of the rest of your life.

Get it...? It's called Thyme Out because... uh... because thyme is a seasoning that you use when you're... uh... cooking, and because "time out" is... er... the thing that you say when you... um... eat the thing. That you made.

Or something.

Anyway, I'll be posting What Looks Good in March 2008 (L-X) sometime this weekend, I hope...

Until then, I hope that you're THYME isn't... uh... out?

Hm.

- Paul

Hoopla! - Season Two - Episode 1: Will Someone Please Fix My Continuity...?

2008-01-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Season Two of Hoopla!

As you can see above, I've decided to restart the numbering with the new year... there are a couple of good reasons to do this.

1) It will help me keep track of how close I am to producing a weekly column. Last year, for example, I think I ended up with 48 columns (not including the little special announcement ones) which is actually pretty darn close to weekly. This year I'm shooting for 52, although the smart money has it that I'll actually be producing even less this year than I did before. Sad but true.

2) Sales always go up with a re-numbering because people LOVE a first issue of something. So, I'm hoping that by making this number ONE of Season Two of Hoopla!, rather than number 49 or something stupid like that, I can double my readership!!! To help make that dream a reality, I'm also going to be releasing a special variant cover of this first column of the second season of Hoopla!, which will have a chronium foil cover and which, when exposed to moisture, will expand rapidly, like one of those compressed sponges.

As you can see, I've returned from New Year's Eve more sales-savvy than ever!!!

So, 2008 looks to be a very interesting year for me... I start teaching at American University in a couple of weeks, I'm hopefully finishing my dissertation in May or July or sometime around then, after that I may move to _____ to start work at _____ , and my girlfriend, Mie, has just moved in with me.

I was actually pretty nervous about Mie moving in with me... big life change and all... but then I realized that this is actually the perfect time to be doing this because modern science, assisted by the work of Joe Quesada and Dan Didio, has made retro-continuity adjustments so painless and relatively inexpensive.

If, a few months from now, I find that Mie is driving me bat-shit crazy, I can always have a friend punch a hole in the wall of reality and - WHAMMO!!! - Mie never moved in with me and all of my hair has grown back. Or, if I have trouble finding work after I graduate, all I have to do is make some half-arsed deal with Mephisto and - SHWAZZANG!!! - I never went to get my PhD at all but, instead, took that lucrative government job that, in this continuity, I passed up several years ago.

And all my hair grew back.

So, I feel a lot less pressure in making life decisions nowadays...

Thanks Joe! Thanks Dan! Thanks modern science!

So, I happened upon some pretty amazing preview pages for a book called Cursed Pirate Girl. You can see these in full size over at newsarama, but here's a brief sample...

Umm... wow.

Of course, they look a million times better when you see them at full size over at newsarama, and there are a lot more of them to be seen, too.

Impressive stuff, though, I gotta say...

--------------------------

So, I came across a sort of interesting debate about a new Dave Sim book that's coming out titled Glamourpuss (The book, that is. Not the debate about the book.)

The gist of the argument is that many people have written that they have no interest in supporting Dave Sim by picking up his book because of his rather fanatical diatribes against women. The primary counter-argument seems to be, yes, he's completely bonkers, but he's also been incredibly important in the comic-book world, his work has been highly influential, and you shouldn't confuse the artist with the art.

And, hey... it's called Glamourpuss! What's not to love?

This is an issue I've pondered before... the first time was with the work of Doug TenNapel, whose outstanding graphic novel, Creature Tech, was somewhat ruined for me when I learned a bit more about Doug's personal beliefs... this was back when I was doing the original Hoopla! column over at comicbookgalaxy. I ended up in a rather lengthy dialogue with Doug, who wrote to me to say that I was misrepresenting his beliefs in my column and that, more to the point, he'd really appreciate it if I'd stop talking crap about him.

To this day, I'm not sure what his personal beliefs really are, but I concluded that if the guy is polite enough to write me and ask me to stop saying nasty things about him, I probably ought to oblige. Especially since I can't be 100% certain that what I'm saying is correct.

In retrospect, I still think Creature Tech was a great book but I haven't purchased any of TenNapel's other books... partially because they're rather pricey but also partially because I'm left feeling somewhat uncomfortable about the whole thing.

To a slightly lesser extent, I've had this problem with Chuck Dixon, who is rather vocal about his homophobia, although I don't believe he's ever called it that and he may have even denied the actual label. I believe his position was along the lines of "I don't want my kids learning about gay people in comics; I don't think gay-ness should be discussed in comics or advocated for through the creation of gay super-heroes."

I still pick up his books on occasion because I really enjoy them but, again, it's sort of tainted my overall impression of the man and makes me slightly more reluctant to pick up his work than I would otherwise.

Dave Sim is a whole 'nother case, though...

The thing about Chuck Dixon and Doug TenNapel is that, regardless of what their personal beliefs may be, they've managed to keep it largely out of their work. Chuck Dixon may not want to write about gay super-heroes, but he also doesn't ridicule gay people through his work and he doesn't spew bile in his letter column about how gay people are parasites sucking the life out of the rest of us or anything like that...

He keeps it to himself, in other words.

That makes it possible for me to enjoy his work without feeling icky inside.

Dave Sim, on the other hand, has used his work to write lengthy diatribes about women and how irresponsible/foolish/evil/parasitic/untrustworthy/etc. they are. He has, in other words, chosen to make an issue of his opinions.

If I buy an issue of Robin that has been written by Chuck Dixon, and if I stop to think, "What message am I sending to the marketplace through this purchase?", the answer I arrive at is that I am sending the following message: "I like well-written, traditional superhero comics with lots of action."

If I purchase a Dave Sim book, however, I feel that I am sending this message: "I approve of mysogyny and of deep-rooted prejudice in general. I think it's okay to hate lots and lots of people and to argue that they are less human than myself."

So, if it turns out that Glamourpuss is the next best thing since wasabi-flavored tooth paste, I think it's still pretty unlikely that I'll buy it. I may read someone else's copy, if my curiosity absolutely gets the best of me, but I won't contribute financially to Dave Sim.

Other opinions...?

-----------------------------------

Well, there's a bunch of really neat stuff coming out in the next few months and I'll tell you all about them in the next Hoopla!, but for now I've gotta head home and rest my weary eyes... and say hello to my fancy new girlfriend/roommate.

I hope you all had a restful, mellow winter break, that your parents didn't drive you too crazy, that you got lots of cool gifts, and that 2008 will be a good one for all of you...

Best wishes,

Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 48: In which we say farewell to 2007...

2007-12-19T15:42:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

So, here's the deal...

I have a computer at home, but it pretty much sucks... if you ask it to do anything more complicated than send an email, it pretty much goes into shock and the whole thing crashes. Which sucks. So, when I'm working on Hoopla!, I use the computer at my office, which isn't actually my office but the guy I work for doesn't use it, so he's sort of lent it to me for the past several years...

You may be wondering, "Why is this guy telling me about his stupid computer and his office that isn't really his office?"

Well, the reason is this... on Friday afternoon (the 21 of December, that is) the GMU building shuts down and does not reopen until January 2. And my-office-that-isn't-my-office is inside that building. So, that means that there's pretty much no way for me to do Hoopla! again until after the new year starts.

So...

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all (both?) of you for reading this and to extra-especially thank those of you who took the time to write to me... it's much appreciated.

In an ideal world, I'd have the time and energy to put together some kind of "Best of 2007" list that would be the very height of hilarity and yet would also serve as a heart-felt tribute to all the fine, fine comics that have been published in the past year...

Such a list would have undoubtedly included Jeff Parker's Marvel Adventures: The Avengers, The Irredeemable Ant-Man, Civil War (I know, I know.. the critics all panned it. Too bad. I thought it was fantastic and that it served to make the Marvel Universe a MUCH more interesting place...), Ultimate Spider-Man, Proof, Agents of Atlas, Doctor Strange: The Oath, Immortal Iron Fist (and yes, I find it somewhat remarkable that an Iron Fist series is in my best of 2007 list, but there you go...), Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, New Avengers: Illuminati, Silent War, Runaways (particularly the last few Vaughan issues), Nova, Godland (Even though it's kind of petered out these past few months), All-Star Superman, World War Hulk (Hey, it was action-packed fluff, sure, but it was damn good action-packed fluff!), M.O.D.O.K.'s 11, The Deadpool/GLI - Summer Fun Spectacular, the final issues of 52 (except for those crappy World War III issues that all came out on the same week), The Brave and the Bold, Justice Society of America (especially the current Kingdom Come storyline), and probably a bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now.

Perhaps I would have indulged in some sort of "Best Writer of 2007" kind of thing... and, no doubt, the winner of that would have finally, ultimately, inevitably been Jeff Parker.

Because he's awesome.

[For what it's worth, I think I'd have to give second place to Brian K. Vaughan who, in 2007, wrote the kick-ass Doctor Strange limited series, finished his superb run on Runaways, has almost finished a four-part Faith story in Buffy, the Vampire Slayer that actually surpasses the arc written by Whedon, and helped get the Lost TV series back on track. Now that's what I call a productive year!]

I would also, no doubt, have taken the time to single out some of the very worst comics to come out in 2007. Such a list would have been dominated by Countdown and all its many cross-overs, but I would have taken the time to also ridicule the Spider-Man: One More Day storyline, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive and the whole misguided killing off of Bart Allen, Amazons Attack, and possibly a few others that I have, through the grace of God, been fortunate enough to erase from my memory.

Biggest disappointment... Grant Morrison on Batman. It really should have been amazing and yet, it's really, really not. And it took me way too many issues to admit it to myself.

I was in Grant Morrison denial, I'm afraid.

The other biggest disappointment of 2007 was the big Wildstorm debut of Authority (Grant Morrison! Gene Ha!), WildCats, etc. What a fiasco that was!

And, too, let us not forget Dwayne McDuffie's debut on Justice League of America. I was totally psyched for that... but I've had to drop it after just a couple of issues because it is so very, very bad.

Perhaps such a column, had I the time to do it right, would also feature some of my favorite covers from 2007, interspersed throughout.

And, no doubt, I would have taken a paragraph or two to bitch and moan about the current direction imposed upon the vast majority of DC's titles, almost all of which are bogged down in continuity-incest of the very worst kind, and almost all of which continue to rely on the deaths of b-list characters in a very jaded attempt to maintain interest in their fictional universe.

I could try to make some funny ha-ha's about Dan Didio and the damage he's done to the DC universe, but the truth is, it's gotten to the point where it's not even a little bit funny to me.

It's just offensive.

All told, I'd say it's been a great year for comics... sure, there's been lots of dreck, but I can' t think of a year since I first started collecting comics when you couldn't make a compelling case that an all-time peak had been reached for truly awful comics...

But the good stuff... Yum.

There was lots and lots of good stuff.

On a more personal note, 2007 was an outstanding year for me... I've made a ton of progress on my dissertation and will hopefully be finished by the end of next summer... plus, I got to spend lots of time with friends this year, doing fun stuff like travelling to Florida and drinking lots and lots of yummy alcoholic beverages...

The biggest event for me in 2007, however, was issue #247 of my life, which featured the debut of a brand-new character... Mie.

We've been together for just about a year, now, as our first date was on or around January 4, 2007... and she'll be moving in with me at the end of December. So, that's pretty cool.

When I think back to her original appearance, she was drawn slightly differently and the writer hadn't quite gotten her dialogue style right... but from the very start I knew that I wanted to, someday, have my own prestige format limited series with her.

That's my humble little dream, anyway...

So, here's hoping that 2007 was good to you and that 2008 will be even better... the world seems to be a tad bit more f*cked up than usual, at the moment, but I am hopeful that better times are ahead for all of us...

Best wishes to you all and I'll see you on the other side of the New Year!!!

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 47: February, you are too kind...

2007-12-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Holy Hannah! There are a TON of super-deluxe cool looking comics coming out in February and March of 2008... so many, in fact, that this will be part one of a ultra-deluxe special two-part Hoopla! extravaganza in which I attempt to highlight all of the upcoming projects that have got my pulse racing...

FANTASTIC FOUR #554

Written by MARK MILLAR Pencils & Cover by BRYAN HITCH MARK MILLAR! BRYAN HITCH! Need we say more? All right, we will! Who is Mrs. Fantastic? And how will her return into Reed's life rock comicdom's First Family? Also, get ready to meet the Invisible Woman's brand NEW super-team! This issue kicks off a year-long storyline that will make FANTASTIC FOUR "The World's ULTIMATEST Comic Magazine!" Promise! 32 PGS./Rated A…$2.99

I have to agree with them... Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch on Fantastic Four... nothing more really needs to be said.

NEW AVENGERS #38

Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS Penciled by MICHAEL GAYDOS Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC The break up! CONSPIRACY, PARANOIA, BETRAYAL may have taken their toll on the Avengers newlyweds Jessica Jones and Luke Cage. After the shocking turn of events at the end of last month's NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL, has Jessica Jones turned her back on THE AVENGERS? Who better to help tell this story than Alias artist Michael Gaydos returning to Marvel for this special issue. Guest-Starring the Mighty Avengers. WHO DO YOU TRUST? 32 PGS./Rated A…$2.99

I stopped buying New Avengers a while ago... I can't stand the art and the whole thing with The Hood beating and humiliating Tigra just really turned me off...

That said, a Jessica Jones story by Bendis and Gaydos...? It's like a brand new issue of Alias!!! Methinks this will be mighty good stuff indeed...

RASL #1

New title by Jeff Smith, creator of Bone.

You can read more at this link, but seriously, do you even need to...?

SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #7

Written by TODD DEZAGO & MARK WAID Art & Cover by KARL KESEL

The Looter! This guy found a meteorite that gave him enhanced speed and strength, and the misconception that he's a genius (he's actually dumber than dirt). So WHY is he such a pain to Spidey and the FF??? Well, obviously it…oh, wait. I can't tell you why. Read and find out! This special issue is brought to you by Mr. Kesel, DeZago and Waid, who take you on an adventure that spans their buddy Mike Wieringo's favorite places in the Marvel U! We miss ya, Mike! Also featuring classic tales and Spider-Man J! 104 PGS./$4.99

This issue is a special tribute issue to Mike Wieringo, who recently passed away. There's an interview about it here, but the key point, as far as this being a comic worth buying, is this...

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Newsarama: So, guys, it's been more than three months since the passing of your dear friend and collaborator Mike Wieringo. While the three of you had had your thoughts posted about Mike days after his death, what brought about this special tribute project in February's Spider-Man Family #7?

Todd Dezago: From my understanding of it, it was Nate (Cosby, Editor Extraordinaire and Keeper of Spider-Man Family). Having worked with Mike several times himself, Nate felt that Spider-Man Family would be the perfect place for a tribute type of story that, rather than a sad and mournful tale, would, like Mike himself, be more fun and upbeat; a light-hearted kinda yarn. Not knowing me (at the time... we've met since then), Nate sicced these two monkeys on me.

NRAMA: Will it contain stories that you guys and Mike had talked about, pitched to Marvel before, what? After all, Mark and Mike had earlier pitched an Aquaman project which was turned down by DC, right?

TD: Well, sadly Aquaman will not be in it. But it will be crammed with guest stars and cameos from all over the Marvel Universe! This story actually is something that Mike and I had hoped to do, at some point, as a miniseries, when we would reminisce about our days on Sensational Spider-Man. Both of us were fairly nostalgic jerks and Mike longed to draw all of those colorful characters again. When the idea for this project came up, Karl, Mark and I thought that it would be a great way to revisit the characters that Mike loved to draw in Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four in a wild romp led by one of Mike's favorite characters--The Looter!

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See? That sounds like fun...

TINY TITANS #1

Written by Art Baltazar & Franco Art and cover by Baltazar & Franco Awwww yeah, Titans! Join us for the exciting first issue of Tiny Titans written and drawn by the amazing Art Baltazar and Franco! See what life is like at Sidekick Elementary and meet the new staff! Follow the madness that ensues when Beast Boy gets a puppy friend! Witness what happens when the girls meet a pink stranger with a melted ice cream cone! Find out what makes Cassie such a trendsetter! All your favorite Titans, in their cutest possible form, are here and waiting for you! On sale February 13 o 32 pg, FC, $2.25 US

I've already mentioned this comics several times... I think it's going to be a kick-butt comic for the little kids in your life that you're trying to convert to the wonderful world of comics...

One additional point... for those of you who get your comics from mailordercomics.com, as I do, this first issue is being sold for 56 cents. You can get up to two copies at that price, and I highly recommend that you do so... as noted above, it'll be a good one for the kiddies, so this way you can buy one copy for them to look at (and inevitably tear to shreds) and one for you to keep.

Neat, huh?

MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #8

Written by PAUL BENJAMIN Penciled by DAVID NAKAYAMA Cover by JUAN ROMAN CANO SANTACRUZ

Hulk! Dr. Strange! Silver Surfer! The Sub-Mariner! For the first time ever in Marvel Adventures, the Defenders assemble! But can they stop arguing with each other long enough to save the world? If the monstrous Nameless One gets his way, the Defenders first mission together could be their last!! 32 PGS./All Ages…$2.99

As noted in an earlier column, I really enjoyed the Hulk meets Dr. Strange issue last month, so you can just imagine how totally psyched I am for Hulk meets the Defenders, via Marvel Adventures.

The answer is... a lot. I am a lot totally psyched.

TEEN TITANS: YEAR ONE #2

Written by Amy Wolfram Art by Karl Kerschl & Serge Lapointe Cover by Kerschl

The origin story of the Teen Titans continues as the focus falls on Aqualad, who must overcome his many phobias and get help above the waves when Aquaman goes rogue! Things aren't any better on land, as both Kid Flash and Speedy must confront the madness of the Flash and Green Arrow. On sale February 6 o 2 of 6 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

So very, very pretty...

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #13

Loving this storyline... loving that cover.

And that's a whole lot of love, no...?

Anyhow, that's all we've got time for today, but I'll be back soon (all things being relative) to tell you all about the extra-special goodies that are being solicited for March of 2008...

In the meantime, just hang in there, Kitten... vacation time is nearly here!!!

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 46: Johnny To Rocks My World!!!

2007-12-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Well, I don't know about you out there in reader-land, but I'm a mighty happy camper at the moment... I just finished the second draft of my dissertation proposal and am HOPING that it will be well-received and that I can get on with the whole dissertation thing...

I am very glad to be finished with this draft, as it has been a constant cactus in my eye for about two months now.

Ouch!

I saw an EXCELLENT movie a few nights ago, with the not-revealing-very-much-at-all-about-the-plot title Exiled.

Let me say, first of all, that writer/director Johnny To is clearly influenced by (and infatuated with) the movies of Sergio Leone (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, A Fistful of Dollars, etc.). Like the movies of Leone, Exiled is about super-cool guys with guns who speak very little but who have their own sense of honor and morality... life is cheap but the loyalty of friendships is sacred.

That sort of thing.

One possible point of criticism is that the female characters are actually pretty secondary and somewhat two-dimensional... although I have to say that didn't really bother me in this case. I was trying to figure out why and I think it's because this isn't so much a case of barely-disguised mysogyny, as in most comics currently being published, but more a case of purely iconic characters.

Really, pretty much everyone is two-dimensional in this movie and an attempt to create a fully developed character of either gender in this movie would have seemed really out of place. So, you could accuse it of being sexist, I suppose, but I don't think that criticism really applies here. Again, think The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly... there were no strong female characters in that movie either... it's a very macho kind of world that's being portrayed... but it seems rather inappropriate to accuse it of sexism.

Anyway, that's my two cents about that...

Exiled radiates the kind of super-cool vibe that Quentin Tarantino managed to achieve in Reservoir Dogs but never re-captured... it's clever and it's fun, in a mindlessly violent sort of way, and several of the images will stay with you long after the movie is over.

If you'd like to see an excellent trailer that clearly establishes the mood without giving away any vital information, check out this link.

As for comics...

I recently read a whole bunch of new comics that I'll hopefully be reviewing soon, but let me just say this and get it out of the way so that we can never think about it again... Angel: After the Fall was a huge disappointment.

Angel: After the Fall is set shortly after the final episode of the Angel TV series, which I pretty much loved (the final season of it, anyway). I was pretty optimistic about this title because the recent Buffy, the Vampire Slayer series has been pretty much outstanding and also because the same team that's writing and illustrating Angel: After the Fall just recently finished a related limited series, Spike: Shadow Puppets, which I very much enjoyed.

So, my expectations were pretty high...

The first big problem I had with this comic was that I could barely tell who was who... the art seemed really muddled and several of the character looked nothing like their TV counterparts. For example, there's a scene where Connor and two women suddenly appear. I kind of suspected that Connor was Connor, but wasn't sure until someone referred to him by name. One of the women was that werewolf woman from Season Five and I had absolutely no clue who she was until someone mentioned that she's a werewolf... that kind of narrowed down the list.

I still have no clue who the second woman is supposed to be, but I'm assuming that I'm supposed to know.

Also, this was a case of throwing too much stuff at the reader all at once... Given that this story takes place a while after the end of the TV series, it would have been nice to just sort of stick with one or two characters and learn, through them, what's happened in the meantime. Instead, we've got Connor and his two lady-friends, not-quite-Wesley, Angel, and then a pointless scene with Gunn that added absolutely nothing.

Ultimately, it was unclear what I was supposed to be getting from this issue... I understand that Los Angeles has been turned into a hell dimension, yes, but I don't understand why Angel is back at Wolfram and Hart, what the deal is with Wesley (although, in all fairness, I think that particular element of the story is supposed to be unclear), or why Angel wasn't supposed to kill the one demon-y thing. We're told that he shouldn't because then other demons will appear to fill the power vacuum (it's the old "don't kill the Kingpin" argument), but does that really make any sense at all? They're demons. How would a different set of demons be worse?

Given that the entire city is now a hell-dimension, what delicate balance is being preserved by Angel not pissing off the leaders of the demons? And why, if he has had an uneasy truce with them for the past several weeks, did he suddenly change his mind at the end of this issue? It was clear that something happened to change his mind, but I sure didn't understand what it was. I didn't understand why he would have agreed to a truce in the first place and I didn't understand why he decided to end it at that particular moment.

I didn't understand anything, really. Or care.

This comic needed at least one quiet, mellow moment to let the reader connect with what was happening... By way of comparison, the first issue of the Buffy, the Vampire Slayer series had that scene with Buffy talking with giant-Dawn in front of their fort... it was intriguing, but it was also... quiet. In fact, the fact that it was so quiet was a big part of what made it so intriguing.

There's something inherently uninteresting in non-stop demon-fighting and flames and swords and jumping around and... and...

and...

Well, you get my point.

Anyway, I need to get back to my life for a little bit... but I'm hoping to post many, many reviews in the near future... of course, my having said that pretty much guarantees it won't happen, now, but if worse comes to worse, I can always post my 50 page dissertation proposal.

And what larks then, eh, Pip?

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode #45: Proof, Dan Dare, and Marvel Adventures

2007-12-01T14:13:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

One of the great pleasures of doing a comic-book review column is finding a new comic that nobody's heard of and telling the world, "Hey!!! World, I've found a really great new comic!!! It rocks!!!"

And that's what I'm doing right now...

The comic-book in question is called Proof and it's being published monthly by Image. I displayed some of the interior art a few months back, before it came out, because I thought it looked neat. Well, now we're on issue #2 and here's some more...

[If you'd like to see more, or to see these at a larger size so you can actually read them, all you need to do is to click on this handy little link...]

The set up is that the United States and Canadian governments have formed a secret organization, The Lodge, which exists to track down and contain the most unusual of endangered animal species: cryptids. A cryptid is a creature that has been witnessed and for which some evidence, such as blurry photographs or footprints, may exist, but the creature itself has never been captured or officially documented.

[That last part was taken directly from their Previously page.]

That woman you keep seeing is FBI Agent Ginger Brown, who has sort of been pulled into this whole operation against her will. Like most of the world, she didn't know anything about The Lodge, but now she's been reassigned to them and her new partner is Bigfoot, although his actual name is John "Proof" Prufrock.

One thing that's neat about this series is how down to earth it all is. Yes, there are weird creatures like Bigfoot running around, but there are also conversations about someone's sweater being ugly, or the tour that Wayne takes Ginger on in issue #2 through the Garden, where they keep all sorts of endangered species, including the Cottingley Fairies, the Pallas Cat, and the Dodo Bird.

The premise of Proof is nothing special, but it's all in the delivery. Funny, occasionally frightening, and full of wonder and awe in a way slightly reminiscent of the early issues of Planetary, or, at the risk of being hopelessly obscure in my references, not unlike Milestone's Xombi series from many, many years ago. Artist Riley Rossmo's work, meanwhile, feels like a happy blend of John Paul Leon, Ted McKeever, Michael Gaydos, and I'm not quite sure what else. It's damn good, though. His people actually look like people, as opposed to the homogenous body types we're used to seeing in comics, and his facial work is incredibly expressive.

Here's a brief excerpt from a recent interview with Proof writer Alexander Grecian:

"I'd call it 'fun horror,'" Grecian told CBR News. "We've got a Chupacabra hollowing people out and living in their skins, we've got fairies eating people, we've got car crashes and helicopter crashes and spooky little monsters. But the whole series is character-driven, which means Riley has to draw some talking-head sequences so I can indulge my predilection for funny dialogue. Fortunately, he's terrific at drawing both action and talky stuff. It's probably closer in tone to 'Buffy' or 'X-Files' than something like 'Walking Dead' or a superhero book.

"The most important thing for us, in setting the tone for the book, is keeping it in the 'real' world," continued Grecian. "So, no vampires or werewolves or zombies, no Lovecraftian octopus creatures (although there will be a kraken). Everything Proof and Ginger face will be a cryptid. In other words, the 'monsters' that agents of The Lodge have to track, are things that people actually claim to have seen. There are people who fervently believe that Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster do exist and that's the world 'Proof' lives in."

"In the first story arc (the 'Goatsucker' arc runs through the first five issues), Proof and Ginger meet El Chupacabra, The Cottingley Fairies and The Dover Demon, all of which are cryptids, but we're going to be showing some different sides of them," said Grecian. "We've also got some folklore-type critters popping up in those five issues, including the original Golem and some jackalopes. The fairies in particular have their own kind of closed-system biology that will probably give some people the willies when they see how their whole mating process work," said Grecian.

"After that, we're off to Africa to meet Mokele-M'Bembe, the last living dinosaur. Then we've got Springheel Jack waiting in the wings, harpies, mermen, an oni…"

And so on.

Proof is a ton of fun and comes highly, highly, recommended.

Also new and lovely is Garth Ennis and Gary Erskine's Dan Dare series, published by Virgin Comics. I don't know anything about Dan Dare, although I gather that the character has been around for a long, long while, and I've never purchased anything by Virgin Comics before, but I do know that Garth Ennis and Gary Erskine pretty much kick butt together, and so I decided to give it a try.

Not a lot happens in the first issue of Dan Dare; it's primarily set-up. Daniel MacGregor Dare was, at one time, the premier pilot of Earth's international space fleet. That was a long time ago, though, and now he's semi-contentedly retired.

We learn a little bit about the world he's saved numerous times and it's--surprise!--not all that different from our own. Sure, there's the outer space sci-fi elements, but there are also the moral and political compromises that have left most of Dan Dare's old crew feeling disillusioned. Some work for the system, some are trying to change it, but the world has basically gone on without them.

All that changes, however, with a new space threat that forces the Prime Minister to seek out Dan Dare's help once again.

Beautiful art, well written, and a sense of a truly wonderful adventure about to begin... Dan Dare is the cat's pajamas!

Finally, I also wanted to point out a series of interview over at newsarama.com that are featuring the writers and editor of the Marvel Adventures series. There's an interview with Paul Benjamin, who's just started a four issue arc in which the Hulk meets the Defenders. I just finished reading the first issue of that storyline, in which the Hulk teams up with Dr. Strange, and it was pretty damn funny... if you've ever wanted to see a monkey side-kick possessed by the Dread Dormammu, this is the comic for you...

Then there's an interview with Paul Tobin who will be writing the next few issues of Marvel Adventures: The Fantastic Four. Previously he wrote Banana Sunday, which was a pretty fun indie book, and he's married to Colleen Coover, which makes him at least somewhat cool in my book.

Here's what he says about a couple of his upcoming issues:

"The (Mr.) Fantastic Fix-it Shoppe”: Ahh, Reed. Ever absent-minded. Helping raise money for a block renovation, good ol' Reed runs an "I'll fix anything!" table, and in between putting booster rockets on mopeds and laser cannons in wristwatches he sort of, you know, accidentally fixes the Mad Thinker's android. Oops. Now it's the Mad Thinker and his Awesome Android versus the Fantastic Four and some toasters. Yeah, I said toasters.

"Alternative Film School”. The FF help out a college film professor by volunteering their time for his top students. Want the FF to star in your disco film? No problem. Want the FF to headline your Jane Austen influenced romantic comedy? Sure. That can be done. Want to use your anti-matter powered film projector to transform some fans into the evil "Anti-FF" and also change a group of cos-players into evil (though quite amateur) versions of some of Marveldom's mightiest heroes and villains, all in a bid to destroy the FF and take over the world? Uhh, now we got a problem.

Then there's Fred Van Lente, who's work I've already enjoyed tremendously in the M.O.D.O.K.'s 11 limited series, which is probably the funniest thing I've read since that Great Lakes Avengers limited series by Dan Slott. His upcoming arc on Marvel Adventures: Iron Man sounds awesome but my favorite part of the interview was his discussion of Spider-Man's villains...

NRAMA: Over on MA Spider-Man, you’re doing a four-issue run (#33-36) that focuses on some of Spidey's fiercest foes, but looks at them in new and different ways. Let’s start with Venom, shall we? Venom as Spidey's sidekick? How did this idea come about in the first place?

FVL: I have to make a confession here, Ben. I love Spider-Man. Love him. Peter Parker is one of the greatest characters in comics history. But he totally demolishes the old writing canard that a hero can only be as good as villain. I am no fan of Spider-Man’s villains. They all have stupid animal names and all they want to do is rob banks and kill Spider-Man. Yawn. The only good Spider-Man villain was the Kingpin, and Daredevil stole him. So the challenge for me, when given an assignment like this, focusing on his big-hitter villains (Norman Green Goblin, Harry Green Goblin, Dr. Octopus and Venom) is to come up with ideas that use them in strange and interesting ways that don’t make me want to gnaw my wrists off while I’m at my laptop.

And I hate Venom most of all. God, how I despise Venom. I’m convinced he’s only popular because he’s wearing Spider-Man’s awesome black costume. The sidekick idea came about by thinking, well, Venom is a symbiote, and what’s more symbiotic than following the guy around like he’s his shadow? In MASM #35, Venom volunteers to become Spider-Man’s partner in heroism, that he wants to bury the hatched with the web-slinger, but you know that sneaky Venom, he could have something more up his sleeve…

Then there's an interview with Marc Sumerak, who has incurred my wrath by taking over the writing chores on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers. I know, I know, it's probably not his fault... I'm sure it was more a case of Jeff Parker leaving the title and them needing someone to take it over, rather than Sumerak being responsible for Parker leaving, but dag-nab it all... I loved Jeff Parker's Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Sigh.

Anyway, I grabbed a bunch of Marvel Adventures titles from the comic-store yesterday (don't worry... I paid for them!) because these interviews got me so psyched for the upcoming storylines, which is what interviews like these are supposed to accomplish but almost never do.

Some were better than others, but I really enjoyed the Hulk meeting Dr. Strange and also Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man #32, in which he battles Hydro-Man. Written by Peter David and with art by Pop Mhan, this is exactly the kind of Spider-Man comic that I want to be reading... as opposed to the ridiculous crap-fest that is currently going on in his regular monthly titles.

[Aside from Ultimate Spider-Man, which rocks!]

Anyway, that's all the comic-book goodness for this week... As always, I apologize for writing so infrequently... I think maybe we'll all enjoy life a little bit more if we start thinking of Hoopla! as a monthly review column that comes out more frequently than scheduled instead of a weekly column that is almost always late.

I know I feel better already, just from that one, simple paradigm shift.

Anyway, until next wee... er, month, here's hoping that all your four-color comic-book dreams are coming true...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 44: Giving Thanks

2007-11-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

So, first of all, let's just say it and get it done with... I suck.

Weekly comic-book review column? Not even close...

In my defense, I have been busy with a ton of stuff, but who really wants to hear it? I sure don't. So, rather than make excuses, let's get to the good stuff...

Here's what I'm planning to be thankful for next February...

Ooh... Pretty.

And the title of this lovely thing?

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST: ORSON RANDALL AND THE GREEN MIST OF DEATH

Yeah... I'm going to eat that up with a spoon, baby!!! With a spoon!!!

And then there's this...

I've read a couple of negative reviews of this whole "Kingdom Come" storyline in Justice Society of America, but I think those reviewers are all full of hooey!!! In fact, of the latest batch of comics that I received (these would be the October books), Justice Society of America was one of the very few that truly knocked my socks off. Geoff Johns isn't always my favorite writer, but he's really got the Kingdom Come version of Superman down... somehow tragic and noble in a way that plays off beautifully against the rest of the team. And Eaglesham's art is perfection...

Last month, I featured the cover to the first issue of Teen Titans: Year One... now, here we are with the cover to issue #2. And, once again, it's a doozy! I've found a couple of interior pages from this book, too, and it looks like this is gonna be a humdinger...

Yum!!!

For those of you who don't want to wait until February to be feeling the love, here are some kick-ass titles that I'm currently enjoying that are guaranteed to brighten your day...

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer

Joss Whedon's original story-arc was good, but the current story by Brian K. Vaughan is downright awesome... he really "gets" Faith and the bits with Giles are pretty damn good too... If the upcoming Angel: After the Fall series is even half as good as this, I'll be one happy man...

[Well, actually, if it's only half as good, that wouldn't be all that great. But if it's 7/8 or more...]

Ultimate Spider-Man

This series was in a slump for a while, but ever since the "Clone Wars" storyline, Bendis has been back in top form. And the inclusion of Kitty Pryde into the storyline has added immeasurably...

This is the Spider-Man series that all other Spider-Man series want to be... funny, dramatic, exciting, fun... Ultimate Spider-Man is one of the very few books that can consistently give me that "Gosh! Wow! Neat!" feeling that originally drew me to comics...

And then there's Captain America, Iron Fist, Booster Gold, Brave and the Bold, and pretty much anything written by Jeff Parker. Yes, it's a mighty good time to be a comic-book reader...

On a more personal note, this Thanksgiving I'm going to be extra-especially thankful for all of the following things...

1) My super-lovely girlfriend, Mie, who will be moving in with me in about six weeks

2) My new job, teaching at American University, which begins next semester. It's only a one-semester deal and not a tenure position, but it's still a pretty damn good start on a teaching career, especially considering I haven't finished my frickin' frackin' dissertation yet

3) My groovy friends

4) The student loan that I'm about to receive, which will allow me to eat and pay rent at the same time!!!

5) Once a month, I receive a big box of comic-books in the mail. How cool is that???

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that your relatives don't drive you insane or, if they do, that you at least get some funny stories out of it.

Until next time...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 43: October... why have you forsaken me?

2007-10-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Well, I started out strong this month with a few pretty good columns, but these past few weeks have been mighty silent. I won't bore you with all the details, but here's the gist of what I've been up to and why this week's column is going to be brief as well...

1) The main agony of my life has come from the chair of my dissertation committee who, after disappearing off the face of the Earth for the past six weeks, has returned and decided that all the work I'd been doing in the meantime is completely wrong, wrong, wrong... and must be scrapped and started over.

But, hey, that's cool... I'm Mr. Groovy-Pants. I take it all in stride...

2) I'm supposed to present a paper at a conference. The paper was due last Friday. It still isn't finished.

3) I'm applying for jobs and fellowships, most of which are due in early November, and all of which require a whole list of things like an updated CV, which is taking forever to put together, letters of reference, which I have to nag people about, filling out online applications that if they'd just read my goddamn resume it already has all that information... etc.

Honestly, it's a pretty stressful time to be me... and if someone should ask you, "Hey, would you like to be Paul for a little while?" I would advise you to say no. It's not that fun, at the moment.

And, to be honest, the pay sucks...

Anyway, enough of my whining...

Let's talk about comic-books for a moment, shall we?

The above cover was released a couple of months back and I featured it in an earlier column and essentially said that I didn't know what it was, but whatever it was, I wanted it.

Well, now I know...

TEEN TITANS: YEAR ONE #1

Written by Amy Wolfram

Art by Karl Kerschl & Serge Lapointe

Cover by Kerschl

Writer Amy Wolfram (Teen Titans animated series) joins rising star artist Karl Kerschl (ALL-FLASH #1, ROBIN) for a colorful reimagining of how the Teen Titans came together! See how these teammates bonded, and overcame the sheer awkwardness of being teenagers in this explosive 6-issue miniseries that guest-stars the Justice League of America! You may think you know Robin, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash and Aqualad…but you don’t really know the original Teen Titans!On sale January 2 • 1 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

If the interior art looks anything like the cover art, and it surely ought to, then this is going to be sheer loveliness. Hurray!!!

This is one of those Marvel Adventures "all-ages" books. It looks quite nice, no?

MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #35

Written by FRED VAN LENTE

Penciled by CORY HAMSCHER

Cover by PATRICK SCHERBERGER

Venom is back ...but says he wants to bury the hatchet with Spider-Man. No, not in his head. In fact, in order to show Spidey how much he's reformed, he wants to become the web-spinner's official sidekick. But one night "on patrol" with a homicidal maniac as a partner has Spidey wanting to hang up the web-shooters himself!32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

That's a neat cover. Oh, Marvel Adventures, you do tempt me...

This next cover is nothing special, but I've gone ahead and included it anyway because it's the first issue of Chuck Dixon's return to Robin. There was a time when Dixon was writing Birds of Prey, Nightwing, and Robin, and they were all pretty darn enjoyable. This was followed by a time during which he was writing Birds of Prey, Nightwing, and Robin, and they were all kind of stale and dull.

I'll give him this, though... neither Nightwing nor Robin were ever as good again. His work defined those two series and the fact that he's now returning, years and years later, to write Robin has me pretty psyched...

And now, the ugliest cover of the month...

Aint that something?

It's got sort of a 90's vibe to it... back when really, really crappy artists were trying to mimic the Rob Liefeld/Todd McFarlane look.

This book is actually a sort of perfect package because every single element of it is unappealing to me. There is no negative that has been overlooked.

First, let's look at the soliciation...

COUNTDOWN PRESENTS: LORD HAVOK AND THE EXTREMISTS #4

Written by Frank Tieri

Art by Liam Sharp & Rob Hunter

Cover by Sharp

A COUNTDOWN tie-in! Monarch makes an unexpected alliance with the Americommando and the Meta Militia in an effort to strongarm Lord Havok and the Extremists into joining his Multiversal Army. Plus, Dr. Diehard sees all he cares about vanish in an instant, and we learn the secret origin of the Extremist known as Dreamslayer.On sale January 23 • 4 of 6 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

Okay, so first of all, it's a Countdown tie-in. Hurray!!! If there's one thing you can never have too many of...

Then, it's written by Frank Tieri, who I think is generally agreed to be one of the absolute worst writers in comics. So, that's pretty cool. He tends to wallow in gratuitous violence, sophomoric humor, and female characters that exist solely to be sexy victims or sexy perpertrators of evil-doings.

Then there's the art...

And the characters? LORD HAVOK AND THE EXTREMISTS!!!

Wa-hoo!!!

Finally, there's the fact that the solicitation text has been written in such a way as to defy comprehension. Without looking back, try to remember what this issue is about...

Don't peek...

You can't, can you? You can't remember a single thing you read.

Let's give it another whirl...

Wow. That oughtta really be... something.

I totally didn't see that plot twist about Monarch and Americommando making an alliance with the Meta Militia against Lord Havok and the Extremists and the.. the Multiversal Army... thing.. that is going to... uh, and then Dr. Diehard. Yeah, that's the ticket! Dr. Diehard!!!

Wait a minute.

Dr. Diehard?

Doctor... Diehard?

Hm.

Dr. Diehard.

Dr. Diehard!!!

"Oh, hey, look, it's Dr. Diehard!"

"Hey, Dr. Diehard, how's it going?"

"That Dr. Diehard... he sure can cook a jambalaya!"

"Dr. Diehard... I'd like to marry your daughter."

Hm.

I'd say that someone who calls himself Dr. Diehard... who asks that others refer to him as Dr. Diehard... I would say that such a person just might be over-compensating a wee little bit.

Although, I suppose he is one of Lord Havok's Extremists so... y'know... he needs to have a sort of extreme name and all. But still...

Dr. Diehard?

-------------

Well, it's time for me to go work on my stuff... I hope you all are well, though, and I'll try to be a better blogger in November...

Though I promise nothing. NOTHING!!!

- Dr. Paul Diehard

[But you can just call me Hard.]

Hoopla! - Episode 42: Strange News

2007-10-10T09:58:00.001-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Normally I use this space to review comics and such and so forth, but there's been so much comic-book related news lately that I thought I'd devote this column to reprinting some of the week's biggest stories.

----------------------------------------

Frank "Goddam" Miller to. Issue Challenge. To. Osama bin Laden. And. All Iraqi Insurgents.

"I will dress up in a Spartan toga, grease my body up with oil, and single-handedly pummel them all to death. With. My. Bare. Fists."

Frank Miller surprised and delighted fans by releasing a personal challenge to Osama bin Laden last Friday on YouTube.

"American Flag draping down," the message began. "Heavy with the blood of innocents. Give me a Red."

"You killed our boys. Our children. Our soul." The message continued. "But I will. Beat. You. With. My. Bare. Hands. And then I will. Dine. In. Hell."

Comic-book writer and illustrator Frank Miller had made news earlier in the year by announcing that his next Batman graphic novel will pit the Caped Crusader against al-Qaeda international terrorist Osama bin Laden. Titled Holy Terror, Batman!, the project is scheduled for release by DC Comics sometime this year. In it, Miller said, “Batman kicks al-Qaeda’s ass.”

In his latest foray into political commentary, however, Frank Miller has promised to take on all of al-Qaeda himself, while dressed in a Roman toga.

According to reliable sources, Osama bin Laden has not yet responded.

Dan Didio Announces Upcoming Plans for Archie Comics

"Fans of Jughead and Veronica should brace themselves for some dark days ahead..."

Fans of Archie Comics were surprised last week to learn that Dan Didio has been brought in as the new editor-in-chief for Archie.

"Archie is an American institution," said Didio. "And I respect that. But sales have been slipping over the past several years. And the Powers That Be decided what was needed was a major shake-up. And that's where I came in."

Didio refused to reveal all of the upcoming surprises, but did provide these spoilers:

"I wouldn't dream of killing off Jughead. He's too important to the Archie Universe. But he might find it difficult to stuff his face with hamburgers after his arms have been torn from his body by Moose."

A picture of Jughead with cybernetic arms and steel, razor-sharp claws was posted on Didio.com for a few hours but then hastily pulled.

"Let's just say that readers are going to see a side of Jughead that they've never seen before," chortled Didio.

Other upcoming events include a major crossover that will directly involve all of the Archie titles and several characters that haven't been seen in a very long time.

"If you think about it," said Didio, "Archie and his pals should be in their 90s by now. But they're not. They're still teens in high school. How is that possible? Well, let's just say that after our first major crossover, Archie-Ocaplypse, readers will learn the horrible truth."

Archie-Ocalypse will apparently run through the second half of 2008, all of 2009, and then will finish in 2010, leading directly into the next major cross-over "Archie-cide."

"I don't want to give too much away about Archie-cide, but suffice it to say that we're going to be introducing a new character, Holocaust Survivor, and he's got a bone to pick with Archie and his friends."

That cross-over will tie directly into a new weekly Archie series that will tie into all of the other Archie comics plus will also tie into all DC comics and several upcoming issues of Loony Tunes.

"I've promised not to reveal too much about this new weekly series, because it's not actually going to come out until 2012, but readers should prepare themselves for some continuity-driven story-telling. Old continuity gaffs will be addressed and resolved, while others will be created."

Didio also revealed that, in addition to tying into all of the Archie comics, all of the DC comics, and several issues of Loony Tunes, Archie Publishing is currently in talks with several weekly news magazines, including Newsweek and the Economist, to tie into actual world events as they occur in real time.

"This is a very exciting time for Archie," Didio announced. "Nothing like this has ever been done before. Obviously, there will be many challenges in tying into real world current events as they happen, but I think readers are going to be delighted with the results! In particular, I'm hoping that the US is involved in some kind of war around 2013 because we have a really great idea that's being tossed around about Archie and his pals being recruited and winding up in some war-torn country. Maybe in the Middle East, I'm hoping. Or North Korea."

Marvel Announces New, Weekly Series to be Written by Heinberg with Art by Rob Liefeld

"We've already got the first six pages finished and the script is half-finished for page 7 of first issue. And one of three variant covers that we'll be providing for the first issue is in rough-sketch form. And let me tell you, it looks great!"

No additional information was available.

--------------------------

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print, as the kids like to say. I hope you're all having a lovely October and dressing warmly and being nice to each other and flossing regularly.

Until next week...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 41: December 2007- Oodles and Oodles of Good Comics!!!

2007-10-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

This week we're going to take a look at all the goodies I'm pre-ordering for December. I'll tell you what... it's a lot of stuff.

A whole big heaping lot.

So, stop your yappin' and let's get started...

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #9

So far, this series has completely and totally satisfied me. Well, 98% completely and totally. Occasionally I wish the artist was just a teeny-tiny better, but it's a quibble. Most of the time, everyone looks like who they're supposed to look like.

The writing is fine stuff indeed! In fact, although it may be somewhat blasphemous to admit this, I'm enjoying the Brian K. Vaughan arc even more than the Joss Whedon issues that preceded it.

Sorry, Joss, but that's just the way it is...

SALVATION RUN #2 (Of 7)

Limited series by Bill Willingham, which would normally be a not-so-good thing in my book... I love his work on Fables but have disliked pretty much everything else that I've read of his. But I like the set-up for this... all of DC's super-villains have been stranded on some prison planet kind of place and they start scheming and making-and-breaking alliances to escape.

If I were on a prison planet with all of DC's super-villains, here's what I'd do...

1) Try to get on Lex Luthor's good side mighty fast. If there's going to be a successful escape, he's clearly gonna be the one to pull it off.

2) Avoid the Joker. Avoid shaking his hand. Avoid putting my face anywhere near that flower he's got in his lapel.

3) Hide behind a really, really big rock.

I suppose that's why no one's written a limited series about me being stuck on a planet with DC's super-villians.

BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS #3

Why-oh-why would I even consider buying this? Because it ties into Salvation Run and guest-stars the Justice League, that's why. None of which means it's going to be any good, but I feel strangely optimistic that, even though it won't be great, it'll at least be entertaining.

Here's the soliciation text:

Batman’s dual loyalties are tested as the Outsiders and the Justice League clash over SALVATION RUN — but the Outsiders’ underground work has already brought an architect of the Run over to their side!

See? That doesn't sound too bad, does it?

UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #4 (Of 8)

Another strange pick for me... I've never read a single issue of this or the limited series that preceded it. As an interesting (?) side-note, hwoever, I do own the entire, original Freedom Fighters series from the 1970s. It's complete crap, of course, but as a kid I totally loved it.

Nowadays I honestly can't remember much from that series. I think their main nemesis was a guy named the Silver Ghost or something like that. Which is kind of a stupid name, I guess. Particularly since I don't recall him actually being a ghost. I suppose it sounded better than Silver Guy, though. Or Silver-licious. "Silver Ghost" at least sounds like you've got something going on. Although people are bound to be disappointed when they find out that you're, y'know, not really a ghost...

As best I can recall, the Freedom Fighters were from another Earth (this was in the pre-Crisis days) where the Nazis had won World War II. They first appeared in an old Justice League of America story in which the JLA went to their Earth (Earth X? Maybe...) and helped them to defeat the Nazis.

Of course, coming from a world where the Nazis won World War II isn't such an interesting story-hook after the Justice League of America has come over and defeated the Nazis for you.

Anyway, for some reason the Freedom Fighters decided that they were bored with their world ("Geez... all the Nazis have been defeated. There's nothing to do...") and so decided to travel over to Earth 1 and hang out there for a while.

Since that isn't much of a hook for a series ("They're from another world that's just like this one but now they're here for no particular reason!!!"), they were quickly turned into one of those teams-on-the-run-from-the-law, accused of a crime they didn't commit, yadda-yadda-yadda. They bickered a lot, in what was clearly supposed to be a Marvel-ish approach to superheroes. And there was a two-issue team-up with Wonder Woman that just knocked my socks off when I was a kid. I think the cliff-hanger involved Wonder Woman being killed and, young and naive as I was, I thought they'd really killed her off.

As it turned out, however, I'm pretty sure it turned out that Wonder Woman was not, in fact, dead.

Clearly, this was in the pre-Dan Didio days...

Anyway, I've had no real interest in the current version of the team, but the solication text has piqued my interest...

The Doll Man War begins! Plus, Red Bee’s daring escape from a government lab. And if that’s not enough...the return of Neon the Unknown!

Call me crazy, but something about that made me flash to early Grant Morrison stories... I mean, the Doll Man War begins??? How cool is that??? Plus the return of Neon the Unknown???

Dude, I'm totally there.

DETECTIVE COMICS #839

ALL STAR SUPERMAN #10

ACTION COMICS #860

Continuing the Legion of Super-Heroes storyline. This is gonna rock...

BLUE BEETLE #22

Finally gave Blue Beetle a try and, hey, what do you know...? It's actually pretty good!

Who knew?

BRAVE AND THE BOLD #9

LOVING this series!!! Mark Waid + George Perez = Comic-Book Bliss.

And I extra-especially love this cover... it's Silver Age - astic!!!

The Book of Destiny’s been opened, but look who’s come spilling out…the Metal Men! The Blackhawks! The Newsboy Legion! And the new Atom and Hawkman team!

Yummy goodness!!!

FLASH #235

Speaking of Mark Waid's return to greatness...

I'm really enjoying this series... I like where Mark Waid has gone with the storyline, establishing Wally West as a dad of two super-powered kids. Very fun. And I very much like the art by Acuna.

Good super-hero-y fun, without all the usual DC angst and continuity-incest...

GREEN LANTERN #26

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #19

GREEN LANTERN SINESTRO CORPS SECRET FILES #1

It's the conclusion of the Sinestro Corps War storyline...

Hm. If the Doll Man War and the Sinestro Corps War got in a fight, I wonder who would win...?

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #11

I just read the September issue of this, which was the first issue of the Kingdom Come storyline... or maybe it was the prelude? I dunno...

Anyway, it mostly consists of the JSA hanging out in a fire-station, making pancakes and goofing around.

Possibly the best comic of the month. [Except maybe for Marvel Adventures: The Avengers, guest-starring Hawkeye!!!]

Geoff Johns does a great job with the writing, but the real star of this particular issue is artist Dale Eaglesham.

Wow.

He has really hit his peak with this issue... the amount of background work and the detail on all the different characters... this is some first-class stuff.

I really wish they would take the artist from Justice League of America, Joe Benitez, and grab him by the scruff of his neck and stick his face in front of this comic-book and say, "See??? This is what we hired you to do!!! This!!!"

Dale Eaglesham, I salute you!!!

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #16

But not really...

I was so totally bummed out by the lame art on the latest JLA that I hereby refuse to buy any more issues drawn by Joe Benitez. My apologies to Dwayne McDuffie, but Benitez's art is crap and I'm not going to spend money to look at it.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #37

Jim Shooter's first issue in some 30-odd years!!! This may end up sucking.. it's very possible. But, I can't resist. When I was a wee little lad, Jim Shooter was writing the Legion. Hell, even before I was a wee little lad, he was writing the Legion. It's almost like if Stan Lee returned to writing Spider-Man. Sure, it probably wouldn't be nearly as good as anticipated, but still... how could you not pick it up to find out???

WONDER WOMAN #15

Gail Simone...

She's good. But can even she save this title...? It remains to be seen.

NORTHLANDERS #1

It's only 74 cents through my subscription service, mailordercomics.com, so I figure I'll give it a try even though I really do not like the writer, Brian Wood, one tiny bit...

Incidentally, this is a new Vertigo title... I've been planning a column about Vertigo and my theory about why it's doing so badly, sales-wise, and what they need to do to save that imprint.

Maybe next week...?

FABLES #68

INFINITE HORIZON #1

Also only 74 cents. And the art is by Phil Noto. I can't remember where I've seen his stuff before, but I do remember really liking it...

SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #4 (Of 4)

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #117

ULTIMATES 3 #1

I am only getting this because it's another 74 cent comic from mailordercomics. I am, however, extremely dubious...

The promo art looks dreadful and writer Jeph Loeb is not to be trusted...

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #546

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #547

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #548

Written by Dan Slott.

Art by Steve McNiven.

That's all I really need to know.

SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #6

SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #6

Written by CHRIS ELIOPOULOS

Pencils & Cover by CHRIS ELIOPOULOS

(ribbit) Time for a team-up, Spidey! (ribbit) Let’s see…Iron Man’s busy (ribbit), Captain America’s a little under the weather (ribbit), the FF are doing their own (ribbit) thing…who’s not busy this month? (ribbit) FROG THOR!!!!!!!!And while you’re (ribbit) trying to figure out how a frog holds a (ribbit) hammer, you can read the classic (ribbit) archive material and Spider-Man J!

104 pages…best (ribbit) deal in comics!104 PGS./Rated A …$4.99

ANNIHILATION CONQUEST #2 (Of 6)

AVENGERS INITIATIVE #8

CAPTAIN AMERICA #33

FANTASTIC FOUR ISLA DE LA MUERTE #1

I just read a really excellent interview with the writer of this one-shot, Tom Beland.

GIANT SIZE AVENGERS SPECIAL #1

Also from newsarama.com we have this interview with one of the several writers contributing stories to the above, Matt Yocum. It starts off kind of normal and dull but then you find out what this guy does for a living and, well, it's interesting...

I was planning to pick this up anyway, but reading that interview made me extra-especially want to get it...

IMMORTAL IRON FIST #12

MARVEL ADVENTURES IRON MAN #8

Written by FRED VAN LENTE

Penciled by RAFA SANDOVAL

Cover by SKOTT YOUNG

Ambushed by the villainess Jolt, his armor ruined, Tony Stark finds himself trapped in an isolated village run by folks who have chosen to live a peaceful, agrarian 19th century existence...without any technology. With Jolt hot on his trail, what's a tech-dependent hero to do? That's right: hole up in the blacksmith shed and hammer out an all-new suit of STEAM-POWERED ARMOR! Aw, yeah.

Nice cover, eh?

This is one of those Marvel Adventures titles, which means it's "all-ages." Normally, that would be a turn-off, but Jeff Parker's Avengers stories for Marvel Adventures have been so frickin' good that I'm now willing to try out some of the others. Also, the writer of this issue, Fred Van Lente, is the same guy who's writing M.O.D.O.K.s 11, which I'm enjoying tremendously.

So, I'm willing to give it a try...

And, hey, a steam-powered Iron Man armor??? That sounds neat...

MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #19

This one is not written by Jeff Parker, alas, but it's by Ty Templeton, who's usually pretty reliable, and the story sounds interesting... but darn it, I hope Parker returns to this series soon!!!

OMEGA UNKNOWN #3 (Of 10)

RUNAWAYS #29

WHAT IF CIVIL WAR

Written by ED BRUBAKER, KEVIN GREVIOUX & CHRISTOS GAGE
Penciled by MARKO DJURDJEVIC, GUSTAVO & HARVEY TOLIBAO
Cover by MARC SILVESTRI Wraparound Cover by MARKO DJURDJEVIC

When a stranger appears in front of Iron Man, visiting Captain America’s symbolic grave at Arlington, he is told of two diverse ways CIVIL WAR could’ve concluded. The first: What If CAPTAIN AMERICA led all the heroes against the Registration Act? The second: What if IRON MAN lost the Civil War? Join writers Ed Brubaker (Captain America, Daredevil), Kevin Grevioux (New Warriors, the movie-Underworld) and Christos Gage (Civil War: Casualties of War, World War Hulk: X-Men, TV’s Law & Order: SVU) in a giant-size issue that answers the questions Iron Man never wanted to ask!With interior art by superstar cover painter Marko Djurdjevic, artist Gustavo (Marvel Age Spider-Man, Green Lantern, TMNT and The Amory Wars) and newcomer Harvey Tolibao (Iron Man Annual, Star Wars: Knight of the Old Republic), this issue will fulfill your Civil War withdrawal!56 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Sure, this might suck. I mean, yes, it's a What If...? story. They tend to not be so good.

On the other hand, I really-really-really enjoyed the Civil War limited series, so I'm kind of interested to see where they go with this. And, even more importantly, those are some mighty good writers they've got working on this. So, I'm thinking this might just be worth picking up...

ASTONISHING X-MEN #24

The final Whedon issue, I think...

This storyline has actually been pretty underwhelming, but I feel like I've invested this much in it, might as well see it through to the bitter end...

X-FACTOR #26

CABLE DEADPOOL #48

X-MEN FIRST CLASS VOL 2 #7

ANGEL AFTER THE FALL #2

This is the second issue of "Angel: Season 6" and if you haven't read Brian Lynch's Spike: Shadow Puppets then it's entirely possible that, upon seeing that someone other than Joss Whedon is doing the writing, you might say to yourself, "Self, I don't think this will be very good at all. And who is this Brian Lynch fellow anyway? And what does he want?"

I'll tell you what, though...

This is gonna be good.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT BEYOND BARROW #3

Art by Bill Sienkiewicz.

'Nuff said.

----------------------------------

And then there are the comics that I get from my local store, which include Godland, Nova, Metal Men, New Avengers, Booster Gold, and some other things that I'm not able to remember at the moment because I'm old and my brain is getting crusty.

So, as you can see, there are a plethora of reasons to go on living, at least through December of 2007.

Well, I've blathered on long enough for one day... I hope that you walk away from this "coming attractions extravaganza" just a little bit wiser and, perhaps, a little bit more jazzed about the upcoming December.

I'll see y'all next week and, hey... let's be careful out there!

- Hill Street Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 40: Mo' Better Anime Madness!!!

2007-10-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

A while back I did a column about some anime series that I'd started watching: Azumanga Daioh, Gunslinger Girls, and Texhnolyze (it's pronounced just like it's spelled...)

Those three were my introduction to the semi-wonderful world of anime and, since that time, I've embarked upon a journey the likes of which have not been seen since Benji went searching for that old, red sock that was stuck in the dryer.

Today, I am an older and wiser anime-viewer... slightly less naive, perhaps... and, yes, I'll admit, a tad bit jaded. It turns out that I was very fortunate with my first three picks... sadly, that luck abandoned me, and so I, much like a seagull whose wings have been clipped, have plummeted into the cold, murky waters of bad, bad anime.

Fortunately, like a Japanese tourist anxious to fulfill global stereotypes I have duly recorded my viewing experiences, that others might benefit from my experiences and perhaps avoid my mistakes...

What follows is a list of every anime series I've watched thus far, from best to worst. 10 means super-outstanding and 1 means "Dear God please kill me now!!!"

Or, in comic-book lingo, 10 = Alan Moore and 1 = Dan Didio's weekly column in which he yammers like a yammering yamster about how great it is that he's killing off C-list characters and re-jiggering DC continuity yet again, like a re-jiggering jigger-er from the planet Jig-ton.

Please note: The fact that I've listed and graded the following series does not in anyway indicate that I've watched the entire series. Some of these things have over a bazillion episodes. I'm only human, and sometimes barely that, so in many cases I've only watched one disk's worth of episodes (which usually translates into 4 episodes).

And now, without further ado, the list...

Azumanga Daioh - 10
Gunslinger Girls - 9.5

I don't want to say much about these first two because I've already reviewed them. Suffice it to say that Azumanga Daioh is super-dooper funny and cute and nifty and I like it a lot.

Gunslinger Girls is melancholy, like a beached whale that writes one final letter, in which it details its entire life's journey, only to then take the lit cigarette from its blubbery whale-mouth and use it to set fire to the letter that it spent the past several hours writing.

Neither of the series are flawless, but they're both pretty damn good. I've purchased both series and have no regrets.

Kino’s Journey - 9

This one's about a guy and his talking motor-cycle who visit strange countries. It's sort of like a series of Zen Buddhist parables. Very surreal and wonderful. Each episode is its own, distinct thing.

Satisfying like hot tea.

Haibane Renmei - 9

Haibane Renmei is also very slow and surreal. In fact, it's actually quite similar to Kino's Journey in terms of tone. It's about this village where some people, after death, are reborn with wings. They may be angels, but it's hard to say for sure. No one knows why they are reborn in this particular place or what kinds of lives they lived previously. They aren't allowed to use money, but work small part-time jobs around town to help earn their keep. One, for example, works in the clock-tower. Another helps out in a bakery.

It is strange, strange, strange. But lovely.

[And no, it's not about Christianity... or if it is, it's subtle enough to slip under my radar... this is not a "Here are the answers" thing. It's a "Here are some questions" kind of thing, which is much my preference.]

Last Exile - 8.5
Crest of the Stars - 8.5

These two are both outer-space-y sci-fi stories. Last Exile is more along the lines of a Star Wars-esque kind of adventure. Two orphans, working as couriers, get sucked into a huge adventure that ends up having all sorts of major consequences for interplanetary wars and stuff.

Very fun series and some of the art is phenomenal. VERY worth your time.

Note: The series is incredibly expensive. Seriously. It's something like 90 dollars for the 6 dvd set. I have no idea why.

There is a crappy import version, apparently, which is "only" about 40 dollars, but I've heard only awful things about it. So, this is a good one to rent...

Crest of the Stars is a bit more with the talky-talk than Last Exile. But also very good. I can't say much more than that because I still haven't gotten a strong feel for the series. Very interesting, but not what you'd call action-packed. More of a contemplative kind of sci-fi.

Dai-Guard - 8.5

This is a "mecha" series, which means that it's about a big robot-y thing that is used to fight giant monsters.

NOT my genre, at all.

But this one is actually very funny. The robot-y thing is owned by a corporation and there's always all kinds of paper-work involved whenever they want to use it. So, a giant monster will be crushing the city and then we'll cut to the boardroom and they're discussing how much it costs to use the robot-y thing and insurance premiums and so on.

Good stuff. Very fun.

-------------------------------------------

So, here is an official cut-off line. Everything above this line is well worth your time. I recommend that you rent it and share it with your loved ones.

Everything below this line is not really recommended. The top ones are okay-but-not-great. That quickly slides into oh-my-god-this-sucks.

Ergo Proxy - 7.5

Sci-fi series about some thingie that was made in a lab but escaped and is now killing people. There's one honest cop who wants to find out what's going on, but she's blocked at every turn by the conspiratorial government powers-that-be who are somehow responsible for this killing thing.

This is an okay series. The art is very good and it moves at a good pace. But there's nothing terribly original here and after a while it starts to feel like every sci-fi movie you've ever seen before.

And it takes itself so damn seriously. Everyone's very morose and serious. I wanted them to ask them to please lighten up...

Witch Hunter Robin - 7

A sort of Ghost Busters-ish set-up chases and incarcerates witches. Their newest member is a witch herself but she uses her power to help capture other witches, and that makes everyone pretty uncomfortable.

I've heard that this series gets much better about halfway through as we learn more about those hunting the witches and there's all sorts of conspiracy stuff going on, but I'm still at the early part which is pretty dull. So, I'll give this one another chance soon, but thus far I can't really recommend it.

Chobits - 6.5

Horny teenage guy finds cute robot girl that has no brain but is very obedient.

Comedy hijinks ensue.

I'd heard a lot about this one and was hoping that it would be fun but really it just bored me to death. I'm assuming that the robot girl eventually develops a personality beyond following him around and making him uncomfortable by walking around nude and stuff, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

Fullmetal Alchemist - 6.5

A lot of people really, really like this series.

Really.

Two brothers tried to use alchemy to save their dead mother but it backfired and now one of them is missing some limbs and the other is sort of a body-less spirit that inhabits a suit of armor. They go from town to town, having adventures and trying to find a way to cure their conditions and maybe save their mom.

So many people like this series so much, that I feel like I must have missed something.

That said, I can't recommend it because I found it... dull.

Royal Space Force: Wings of Honneamise - 6.5

All the other anime I've reviewed are series, but Wings of Honneamise is a movie. Visually, it's outstanding.

Story-wise, it's a little bit slow. Kind of interesting in a "oh, that's interesting.. but now my mind is drifting to something else.. I wonder how much longer this movie is... oh, dear, there's still another hour to go... la-la-la... I'm watching an interesting movie... la-la-la... I wonder if it's almost over...?" kind of way.

Texhnolyze - 6.5

This is the third of the three anime series that I reviewed before. I gave it a pretty high recommendation at the time because of the very interesting graphics and such and so forth, but this thing is really, really slow... and the more I watched, the more I felt like the interesting graphics weren't nearly interesting enough to make up for the slooooooow storyline.

Petite Princess Yucie - 6.5

This would be a great series for girls age 9-12. Seriously.

I am not such a girl, however, and so it didn't do much for me.

Highly recommended... but for someone else.

Escaflowne TV Series - 6

Ditto. This is a fantasy series about a girl who falls through a portal or something like that and ends up in a magic realm of fantasy-ish things. Dragons and stuff. You know. And she has some special powers or ancestry or something that I can't remember. One of those "you are destined to save the world even though you thought that you were just a normal girl" kinds of things.

I hate those things.

That said, if you like that genre, this is probably pretty good.

Paranoia Agent - 6

Sort of a horror/mystery story.

I respect the skill with which it's done, but I really hated it. I couldn't say why, exactly, but I found it almost physically excruciating to sit through this. It made my brain angry and unhappy.

Interestingly, many weeks later I went to see a new anime movie in the theater, called Paprika. Anyway, it was sort of very interesting and the sort of thing that I should totally dig, but I hated it. Hated it, hated it, hated it. But, again, I couldn't tell you why. It just somehow really disturbed me, but for no clear reason.

So, a few days after I saw Paprika, I suddenly thought "I wonder if they're both by the same guy?" and, sure enough, they are.

So, I don't know what it is with this guy and his work, but I loathe everything he does. I respect the right of the rest of the world's population to really enjoy it because it's clever and stuff, but it just hits me the wrong way. To me, it is the food poisoning of anime.

It is the cactus in the eye.

Kurogane Comm - 6

A girl lives on a planet where everyone else is dead. She has three robot friends who hang out with her.

This wasn't bad, but it wasn't terribly good either. Maybe interesting for young kids...?

Fruits Basket - 6

Very famous, popular anime. A girl lives with a family of people who, when hugged, turn into animals from the zodiac.

I like the premise because it's completely insane, but the actual show was a bit dull for me. Again, I think this is probably intended for much younger audiences, though.

Video Girl Ai - 5.5

Very much like Chobits, discussed above. Apparently this is a sort of anime genre. Horny, awkward, spastic guy finds super-cute, super-obedient girl with super-powers but also with a flawed brain which makes her very sweet but also very naive and in need of protecting.

In this one, the obedient, cute girl isn't a robot but instead is a girl on a video-tape who can come out of the video-tape and interact with the viewer. She's supposed to give the sex-crazed, hopelessly clumsy guy advice on how to win the girl, but she falls in love with him (though it's impossible to guess what it is that she loves about him since pretty much all he does is ogle women and freak out a lot) and blah-blah-blah.

Dumb and not funny.

Kurau: Phantom Memory - 5

I can barely remember this one.

In fact, even as I was watching it I could barely remember it.

A girl is in the lab when her father is doing some kind of weird experiment and some kind of energy alien thing ends up possessing her. Then we cut to many years later and she's an assassain or something like that, but she has super-powers because of the alien thing inside her. Then she finds this younger girl who's like her sister or maybe it's some other aspect of her or something like that. I don't know.

Anyway, we then have several stories about the assassain lady going off to do various jobs using her super-powers and leaving her other-half sister-y person alone in the apartment, where she gets attacked by some mysterious group that's observing them.

I don't know.

I think this story really needed a giant, purple gorilla to work. Or something like that.

And it didn't have one.

And so... it didn't work.

The place promised in our early days - 5

This was a movie. I can't remember much more about it than that.

No, wait, it's coming back to me... there are three teens who hang out together. Two guys and a girl. And they share their dreams and whatever. Then we flash to the future and the girl is dying and the guys are working on some experiment thing that, if it works, might somehow save her.

Or something.

I don't know. I found it all kind of boring. They spent way too much time setting up the backstory about these three teens hanging out together. Seriously, it was like an hour of just that. So, by the time they jumped forward to the potentially interesting part, I was already pretty much asleep.

Planetes - 4

I expected to like this because it's about sort of outer-space janitors... they go around cleaning up all the space junk. Blue collar workers in space kind of thing.

Great premise.

The voices were really screechy though and the humor was really, really lame. It tried too hard to be "wacky" and it finally gave me a headache.

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust - 4

Vampire movie. Highly regarded because of the graphics.

Whatever.

Same old, same old vampire-y stuff.

Elfen Lied - 3

Okay, I actually hated this one.

Sci-fi kind of series about killing-machine-person-monster-thing escaping from a lab and killing everyone. It's a girl, though. A very naked girl.

She ends up finding some nice people after she escapes but she has complete amnesia, so she doesn't know that she's this experimental killing machine monster thing.

So far, so good.

Then it sort of devolves into a Chobits rip-off for a little while, with the amnesia girl being sort of brain-dead and always doing things like rubbing her breasts against the guy... but, y'see, she's totally innocent and stuff, so then he feels all perv-y because she's super sexy... and then he has to changer her underwear because she doesn't know how, but then his female friend shows up while he's in the middle of doing it and gets really mad because she thinks he... and then he.. and so they...

And then, just when it's gotten really boring and stupid, it gets really nasty too. There's another naked girl killing-machine-monster thing and it's sent after the first one. But this second one has been chained up and tortured for years. And it calls the evil military guy who sends her on missions "Daddy". And so we have this sort of 4-year-old girl in a very breast-y adult woman's body... chained to the wall but covered with blood and cuts and...

Yeah.

So, you get it, right?

This really ought to be at the very bottom of the list but I felt I had to give it a few points because, technically, it's well made.

But, really, it sucks.

Kamichu - 2

A normal girl finds out she's a god.

Nice premise. But the girl is the typical anime girl who is very shy and stutters incessantly and after a while I just got really sick of her.

Y'know, as badly as women are portrayed in Western media, and especially in our comic-books, I've gotta say... we appear to be miles ahead of the Japanese in this regard.

Mobile Gundam 08 - 2

Some kind of war sci-fi thing. I can't remember it, to be honest. I just remember that it wasn't at all memorable.

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And that's our list!!!

Man, that really took forever, didn't it? Well, that 's okay... I haven't done much in the way of reviews lately, so this'll help make up for the void in the universe that had been created by my slackness...

In conclusion, you should really go rent Azumanga Daioh, Gunslinger Girls, Haibane Renmei, Kino's Journey, Last Exile, Crest of the Stars, and Dai Guard. They are very worth your time and they will enhance your quality of life immeasurably.

And then you should clean your room. Because it's getting messy. And I've been getting a lot of complaints about it.

So, on that note... I'll see y'all next week!!!

- Paul, anime'd out for a good long while...

Hoopla! - Episode 39: Pretty Pictures...

2007-09-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Yesterday I posted what may be the single most boring column that I have ever written.

Now it is gone.

Unfortunately, that leaves me with no Hoopla! for this week... so here are a few nice covers from the coming-out-in-December-2007 batch o' solicitations...

Enjoy!

FANTASTIC FOUR: ¡ISLA DE LA MUERTE! ONE-SHOT
Written by TOM BELAND
Art & Cover by JUAN DOE
Puerto Rico...island of beauty, intrigue and, for one ever-lovin', blue-eyed visitor…a pile full of danger! Ben Grimm has been keeping a secret from his teammates for years. But when Reed, Sue and Johnny investigate, the mystery brings them to the tropics, face-to-face with an old nemesis and a monstrous creature known as…EL CHUPACABRAS!! All we can say is, "¡¡QUE EL MÍO SEA MARVEL!!"48 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

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See ya next week!

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 38: Tag-Lines for Everyone!!!

2007-09-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

In my last column, I criticized a recent solicitation for having a dopey tag-line.

But then it occurred to me... tag-lines are the new black!

So, I've decided to provide tag-lines for some of my favorite (or not) comic-book series...

I wanted to start off with The Incredible Hulk because I'm really enjoying the "World War Hulk" storyline that's going on right now and feel it would be a prime candidate for a tag-line. First I went through all the most obvious choices, such as:

They exiled him to a hostile planet. They killed his wife and unborn child... Now he’s back. And it’s payback time.

But that's way too obvious. Same goes for:

You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry...

Hey, it's been done a million times before. But how about this...?

Hulk Smash.

With Moxie!!!

Similarly, the current Captain America storyline, in which he's dead, seems to warrant a tag-line of its own. The obvious, boring choice would be:

Captain America is dead... but his story is just beginning...

But rather than go the easy route, I suggest the following...

Captain America... DEAD!!! DEAD!!! DEAD!!!

One of the more unexpected spin-offs of the painfully convuluted Countdown limited series is the upcoming Countdown: Lord Havok and the Extremists 4-issue mini-series, starring a group of characters that I believe were last seen about 10 or 15 years ago, giving us:

Countdown: Lord Havok and the Extremists.

Just because...

For one of my favorite recent series, The Irredeemable Ant-Man, I propose the following:

One tiny man. One cancelled series.

And for Countdown itself...

52 weekly issues. 74 fragments of stories that are continued from other series. Countdown.

Sometimes, quality is the first thing to go...

And then, for All-Star Batman (written by Frank Miller, art by Jim Lee), we have this...

Frank Miller. Wants you. To. Know. The Goddam Batman. Is. Really. Tough.

or, alternatively...

Frank Miller. Jim Lee. Batman.

It sounded good in theory...

And finally, for now, I decided that my own column could use a really catchy tag-line to help draw in the crowds. And so, somewhat self-indulgently...

They said it would be weekly.

They said it would feature comic-book reviews.

They lied.

Well, that's all for this installment of Hoopla! I strongly encourage you, the bashful reader, to send in YOUR favorite tag-lines that oughtta-be...

Until next week...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 37: The single most unappealing solicitation of the week...

2007-09-16T11:24:00.001-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

A couple of quick things for your perusal-ing pleasure...

First, a look at the cover to Umbrella Academy #4, due out in December.

Now that's a damn nice cover...

Also coming out in December from Dark Horse is one of the most annoying soliciations I've read in a while...

The cover itself is okay... not really my kind of thing, but I've certainly seen worse...

Kind of a mess, huh? And I'm not sure that particular color-scheme was the best choice... it actually makes me think a little bit of vomit... but that may say more about me than it does about the cover itself...

But then there's this...

THE END LEAGUE #1
RICK REMENDER (W), MAT BROOME (P), SEAN PARSONS (I), and WENDY BROOME (C)

On sale Dec 26 FC, 32 pages $2.99 Ongoing

A thematic merging of The Lord of the Rings and Watchmen, The End League follows a cast of the last remaining supermen and women as they embark on a desperate and perilous journey through a world dominated by evil, in hopes of locating the one remaining artifact that can save humanity-the Hammer of Thor. For his return to the world of comics renowned artist Mat Broome (WildC.A.T.S.) teams up with critically acclaimed writer Rick Remender (Fear Agent) for this, Dark Horse Comics's newest superhero series.

o An all-new series from Fear Agent creator Rick Remender and artist Mat Broome!

Our darkest hour, one last hope for salvation . . .

Okay, so, this commits a few of my least favorite sins...

1) Whenever I read something like "A thematic merging of The Lord of the Rings and Watchmen" I immediately flash to that Robert Altman movie, The Player, which is set in Hollywood... over and over again in that movie we hear people pitching movies by saying things like "It's like Star Wars meets Meet the Parents!" or "It's like The Terminator meets The Lion King!"

[Actually, come to think of it, I'd definitely pay to see a movie that was pitched as The Terminator meets The Lion King. But I digress...]

At any rate, not only is this comic "A thematic merging of The Lord of the Rings and Watchmen" but it also has the hammer of Thor tossed in for good measure.

Wow.

Then it has one of my biggest pet peeves (of comic-book soliciations, that is) which is The Tag-Line.

Our darkest hour, one last hope for salvation . . .

Ooh. Dramatic...

For some reason, tag-lines at the end of movie trailers seem perfectly acceptable, but they just look silly in a comic-book solicitation.

And then, finally, there's the fact that this is yet another ill-fated attempt by Dark Horse to do super-hero comics.

Why - o - why does Dark Horse feel that it must do super-hero comics? It never, ever pays off.

DC and Marvel have that particular niche well-covered. Dark Horse, you need to focus on your strengths...

I can promise you, no good will come of THE END LEAGUE. Even if it does have a similar title to The Justice League.

"It's Lord of the Rings meets Watchmen meets the hammer of Thor meets the title of The Justice League of America! The kids are gonna love it!!!"

Oh, well.

At least the weather is nice outside today...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 36: From Beyond

2007-09-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Humans are such easy prey..."

Available on DVD as of a few days ago.

Thereby supporting my contention that life is, in fact, very very good indeed...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode #35: DC Comics - Publishing Fiasco

2007-09-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

This is an unschedule Hoopla! that, once again, is being written to warn readers of a last-minute change in the DC publishing schedule.

Well, not really a last-minute change... because that would imply that the change was made before some pre-arranged deadline. In this case, however, it was made after that deadline.

Some of you may recall, a few weeks ago, when I wrote to warn those who pre-order their comics that Wonder Woman #13, which was solicited as being the first issue of the Gail Simone run, had been changed so that it was actually going to be a fill-in issue leading to the Wonder Girl limited series. DC has been doing a lot of this, lately. And now they're doing it again.

Superman Confidential #6, which was solicited as, quite logically, being the sixth and final part of the Tim Sale/Darwyn Cooke storyline has now been changed to... well, let's take a look at the press release they sent out a few days ago...

CONTENT UPDATE FOR SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL ISSUES SUPERMAN
Press Release

Originally scheduled to appear in SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #6 (MAY070149), the final chapter of the story “Kryptonite,” written by Darwyn Cooke and illustrated by Tim Sale, will be rescheduled to appear in a future issue of SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL.

SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #6 (MAY070149) now will feature the story that had been scheduled for issue #7, written by Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin with art and cover by Koi Turnbull and Sandra Hope. In this story, the first chapter of a two-part tale, the fate of Metropolis is at stake when Superman gets mixed up with Lori Lemaris!

Unfortunately, those of us who pre-order our books have already ordered Superman Confidential #6. Which means that we've all now purchased a Lori Lemaris story by Jimmy Palmiotti.

Hurray for us!!!

This is yet another example of how totally f###ed up DC is these days.

Let's take a look at some other examples, shall we...?

The solicited content of Wonder Woman #5, which was supposed to be the missing final chapter of the book’s initial arc, was running late and so was eventually shifted over to Wonder Woman Annual #1, and issue #5 was something completely different by a different writer/artist.

And here's one that's far too complex for me to have pieced together, but which was explained over at The Beat's monthly column, DC Comics Month-to-month Sales: April 2007
by Marc-Oliver Frisch.

[The monthly column isn't actually called DC Comics Month-to-Month Sales: April 2007. That would be silly. But this was the column that came out in April 2007.]

Another month, another fill-in issue of Action Comics. “Last Son,” the much-hyped story by Geoff Johns, Richard Donner and Adam Kubert, we recall, is hopelessly late and will therefore be released in bits and pieces, not being finished until next year’s Action Comics Annual #11. Hence, among other steps, the fourth chapter of “Last Son” first solicited to appear in issue #847, has been pushed back first to issue #848, then to June’s issue #851, followed by another string of fill-ins before normal service was going to resume with issue #855 in August. That, at least, was the result of multiple schedule revisions; it wasn’t an ideal solution, but at least it seemed DC had chosen — and managed — to get the book back on schedule. All’s well that ends well, right?

But hold on: As per DC’s website, Action Comics #851 is no longer supposed to come out in June. It’s been pushed back to July. So, despite the multiple revisions made to the book’s schedule over the last few months, it now looks like there will be two issues of Action Comics in May, none in June, two in July and three in August. Unless, of course, they decide to revise their plans one more time. If nothing else, this fiasco certainly illustrates why they’re not expecting Kubert to be able to finish the story until sometime in 2008.

Ah, DC, how you fill my heart with rage.

Ultimately, however, what are the real consequences for DC? Comic-book readers continue to purchase their books and DC manages to sell comics "twice" by changing the solicitation information after it's too late to change orders.

A classic case of bait-and-switch.

My question... isn't there some legal obligation to sell the thing that they are claiming to sell?

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 34: Comics that make me feel all tingly inside... [Part One]

2007-09-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

This week we're going to take a look at ongoing, monthly comics and a few upcoming projects that all have one thing in common... they rock my world!!!

And where better to start than with the upcoming Tiny Titans comics? This is being solicited as a new monthly series for kids 3-5 years old which, of course, makes it perfect for me!!!

Please note that Aqualad apparently has a sidekick in this comic... a fish named Fluffy.

I don't think any comics fan could reasonably ask for anything more wonderful in this world than a story starring Aqualad and Fluffy, the fish.

Feeling bummed out about the death of Bart (Impulse/Kid Flash) in the DC Universe? Look no further than Tiny Titans... which is clearly, gloriously out of continuity.

Take that, Dan Didio!!!

Please note that Speedy's trick arrows include a pie-arrow (presumably to be fired into someone's face) and a water-balloon arrow.

Genius!

Tiny Titans is schedule to start coming out in January; you can read here for more information.

[They also discuss two other comics-for-kids that will be coming out soon, but Tiny Titans is the only one of the three that looks interesting to me...]

Meanwhile, I wanted to mention a few monthly comics that I'm enjoying tremendously...

Nova
Written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning
Art by Sean Chen
Published by Marvel

The cover art isn't much to look at, I know, but this monthly sci-fi/super-hero series is one of my most eagerly anticipated titles every month. It's difficult for me to put my finger on what, exactly, it is about Nova that works so well. The writers, Abnett and Lanning, are generally good but they've never really blown me away in the past. The artist, Sean Chen, is similarly good-but-not-great... he's certainly not an artist whose work I actively seek out. And the title character, Nova, is sort of a generic Marvel super-hero, initially created to be a sort of Spider-Man-esque teen loser/hero.

And yet...

Nova is only in its fifth issue but already so much has happened... it's sort of a non-stop adventure with solid characterization, awesome cliff-hangers, and lots of rock 'em sock 'em fight scenes that make me feel like a young Paul, reading comics again for the first time.

Nova isn't anything ground-breaking or terribly innovative... there's nothing here you haven't seen before. It's generic super-hero/sci-fi done with passion, though, and with a genuine sense of fun in every page. There's plenty of story in each issue, but when I get to the last page, invariable, I'm left with a desperate craving for the next issue.

Good, good stuff!

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Whoops... my Homework-o-meter has just gone off, which means Part Two of Comics that make me feel all tingly inside... will have to wait until next week, but in the meantime I leave you with the following...

See you next week!

- Paul