Hoopla! - Episode 8: Kvetching about those VERDAMMT Skrulls!!!

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!


My name is Paul Weissburg and I'll be your host as we journey together into the wonderful world of comic-book mayhem...


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Today we ponder that timeless question: Is it possible to be tired of a mega-comic-book-crossover-event before having read a single issue of it?


And the answer is... yes. Yes, it is.



Exhibit A: Secret Invasion.

I generally like Bendis' writing quite a lot and so when I first heard about this whole Secret Invasion thing, I was pretty psyched to read it...


Here we are, thought, just a few months later and I'm thoroughly sick of Secret Invasion without having actually read a single issue of it (still waiting to receive issue #1 in the mail)...


Why? Well, let's take a look at what's coming out in July 2008, in addition to the actual Secret Invasion limited series...


MIGHTY AVENGERS #16

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! ELEKTRA IS A SKRULL!! Words that have echoed through Marvel Comics for the last two years. But how did this happen and for how long has this been true? THE ANSWER IS HERE!




NEW AVENGERS #43

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! SPIDER-MAN VERSUS CAPTAIN AMERICA IN THE JUNGLES OF THE SAVAGE LAND! But who is who and what is what?? At least one of these people isn't who they say they are. Plus a huge chapter in the Secret Invasion story as more information as to how the Skrulls set their major plans in motion is revealed...



AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #15

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"The Only Good Skrull..."With the NEW AVENGERS and the MIGHTY AVENGERS trapped in the Savage Land, it's up to the AVENGERS INITIATIVE to face off against the first major strike of the Skrull Invasion! There, on the field of battle, the cadet with the biggest secret has to choose how red (or green) his blood really is. Heroes will fall. Heroes will die. And one shall rise.



SECRET INVASION: FRONT LINE #1 (of 5)

Skrull warships fill the skies, and heroes battle for their very survival in the Savage Land, the citizens of New York struggle to survive the worst day of their lives. Brian Reed (CAPTAIN MARVEL) and Marco Castiello bring you a stunning ground-level look at Secret Invasion!



SECRET INVASION: RUNAWAYS/YOUNG AVENGERS #2 (of 3)



SECRET INVASION: FANTASTIC FOUR #3 (of 3)



BLACK PANTHER #39

“SEE WAKANDA, AND DIE,” PART 13-part tie-in to “Secret Invasion,” written by guest-writer Jason Aaron (WOLVERINE)!When the Skrulls come to town, it's all-out war in Wakanda. The alien invaders have war ships, advanced technology, super-powered soldiers and an army that outnumbers the Wakandans ten to one. Cake walk, right? Think again. There’s a reason Wakanda had never been conquered – and the Skrulls are about to find out why…the hard way.



CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #3

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN, PART 3 (of 4)It’s Science Fiction versus Fantasy as the war machines of the unstoppable Skrull army invade the magical realm of Avalon. Can Pete Wisdom and the rest of MI 13 keep the Skrulls from taking control of the world’s magic? And what is Spitfire doing to that Skrull on the cover?



INCREDIBLE HERCULES #119

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"SACRED INVASION" takes a shocking turn! Betrayed by one of their own, their strategy in shambles, Hercules and the God Squad find themselves marooned on a hostile world with countless hordes of alien slave-deities between them and their final goal of the Skrull pantheon!




SECRET INVASION #1 DIRECTOR’S CUT

Go behind the scenes of the event that will change the Marvel Universe forever! The shape-shifting alien race known as the Skrulls has secretly infiltrated every super-powered organization on Earth with one goal: full-scale invasion! Now, get closer to the action than ever before! This bonus edition reprints SECRET INVASION #1 in its entirety – plus the SECRET INVASION PROLOGUE, previously available only online, and other choice extras!



MS. MARVEL #29

SECRET INVASION continues here! Intergalactic war comes to the streets of Manhattan! As Ms. Marvel stands alone before the Skrull invasion, she must find the warrior within and stop an army of invincible killers!



THUNDERBOLTS #122

SECRET INVASION strikes Thunderbolts Mountain as Captain Marvel attacks!



NEW WARRIORS #14

The first chapter of a two-part SECRET INVASION story!Skrulls. Shape-changing aliens who have invaded Earth. Impersonating and replacing your friends and family. Maybe even taking the place of a brother. When an army of Skrulls arrives in Manhattan, Donyell Taylor asks: Was the Night Thrasher who died in Stamford, Connecticut really his brother? Or could it have been a Skrull?



X-FACTOR #33

Secret Invasion tie-in!



SHE-HULK #31

SECRET INVASION tie-in and X-FACTOR crossover issue! It’s double the trouble as our gamma-ray glamazon finds herself on a collision course with the mystery-solving X-Factor and hip-deep in the Skrull infestation! What does She-Hulk’s partner Jazinda – who just happens to be a Skrull – know about the invasion…and is she part of it?



SKRULLS! ONE-SHOT

Ever since the dawning of the Marvel Age of heroes, the Skrulls have been known as scheming, conniving, insidious interlopers in the affairs not just of Earth, but the whole universe. Now, get the Skrulls' side of the story! Who are they, what drives them, and what are their ultimate goals? Who are their heroes, and who are their villains? And what will become of their clash between religion and modernity - manifest in their relentless pursuit of the Earth as the final prize - when it spills over into universal mayhem? SKRULLS! helps answer these questions and gives you the clues to ask even more! Featuring detailed information about the full expanse of Skrull history – including biographical data of classic Skrulls through the ages, reprints of key moments from Skrull history and original material that will help form a deeper understanding of the Skrull race...all from a Skrull perspective. SKRULLS! is 64 pages and no ads full of shape-shifting secrets!



SKRULLS VS. POWER PACK #1 (of 4)


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Phew.

That's 18 titles in July that feature the frickin' frackin' Skrulls and their frickin' frackin' Secret Invasion of Earth.


Who needs that many comics about the Skrulls??? Seriously. Who does?


And that's just in one month!!! I also keep coming across articles about upcoming Skrull-related series and storylines... take a look...

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As announced by Marvel Comics at New York Comic Con this weekend, Brian Reed will be writing Secret Invasion: Spider-Man, a three-issue mini-series starting in August that focuses on how the cast of Amazing Spider-Man's "Brand New Day" is dealing with the onslaught of Skrulls.Reed isn't new to Skrull stories, having just wrapped up the Skrull-filled Captain Marvel mini-series and writing tie-ins for his Ms. Marvel ongoing, as well as being named as the writer of the upcoming Secret Invasion: Front Line mini-series.

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In ancient times people used to fear the sound of thunder believing that it indicated that the gods were mad at them. This summer, the Skrull invaders targeting Earth will have good reason to fear themselves, because it will mean that an angry god is coming after them. CBR News spoke with Marvel Comics editor Warren Simons about the three issue "Secret Invasion: Thor" mini-series which kicks off in August.

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The Skrulls have seen some horrific things, from Galactus devouring their home world to years later witnessing the forces of the Annihilation Wave decimate much of the Skrull Empire. But this September, they'll know true horror when they run afoul of an unkillable man who just won't shut up! God help the Marvel Universe, because Deadpool AKA Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth, is back in a new ongoing series and he's going to play a key role "Secret Invasion." CBR News spoke with writer Daniel Way about his plans for "Deadpool."

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Marvel’s newest character, Kinsey, made her debut in a live-action MySpace video, in which it was revealed her brother’s a Skrull! Her adventures continue in the free web comic, “Secret Invasion: Home Invasion.”

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I know it seems like maybe I made up that last one to be funny (Their newest character is named Kinsey? And she made her debut in a live-action MySpace video???) but, no, that's a real thing and not an example of my razor-sharp wit.

At any rate, we're not even halfway throught the whole Secret Invasion storyline, which is going to be running all the way through November, and already I feel completely overwhelmed by the whole thing.

It's simply too much.

Incidentally, of the 18 Secret Invasion tie-ins that will be coming out in July 2008, I will be purchasing exactly one of them. And that one, of course, is The Incredible Hercules, which I enjoy so much that I am going to pick it up despite the Skrully-ness of the storyline.

Don't let me down, Herc!

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On the more positive side, here are some upcoming Marvel titles that I think look just swell and that appear to have nothing at all to do with Skrulls...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #1
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by ALVIN LEE
Cover by ROGER CRUZ
It’s probably a bad sign when Hercules comes asking for a favor. It’s juuuuuust a little job that needs doing, but this is Hercules; isn’t he supposed to be REALLY good at doing labors himself? Before they know it, Iron Man, Spider-Man and the Hulk are stuck looking after Orthus and Cerberus, the two legendary hounds of the underworld! Luckily, the dogs learn to behave after chewing up only a few cars, a statue, and Iron Man, and finally they’re obedient enough for the Metro Dog Show! Only problem, Hercules wants the dogs back. Oh no, Herc, not before the Hulk gets his ribbon! It’s two dogs with five heads between them, and all the action you can handle.
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

See? Now doesn't that sound nice? And look... no Skrulls!


Meanwhile, here's my favorite cover out of all the Marvel solicitations for July 2008...

I think that's pretty damn cool.



MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #13
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by JUAN ROMANCANO SANTACRUZ
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Hulk and his traveling buddies (fun-loving teen, Rick Jones androllicking monkey, Monkey) have returned to New York City to find something amiss… all the super heroes have been transformed into ravenous, stumbling monsters! But can even the strength of the Hulk stand up to the unstoppable… MARVEL MUMMIES?!? Fan-fave Hulk creator Peter David comes to Marvel Adventures Hulk with unlucky issue 13, bringing our most mummified issue ever!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


And then there's this...


MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #41
Written by MARC SUMERAK
Penciled by RYAN STEGMAN
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Start your engines, Spider-Fans, because Peter Parker is about to hit the highway on one of the most exciting adventures of his young life -- Midtown High's Driver's Ed course! But the road to four-wheeled freedom becomes bumpy when the monstrous Man-Bull stampedes through the city streets! It's high-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


"High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Now THAT's what I want to read after a long day of banging my head against my frickin' frackin' dissertation... I don't want to read a magnus opus about the goddam Skrulls fighting Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel and the Fantastic Four and Power Pack and Deadpool and Thor and... and... and KINSEY!!! I don't want to read the past four years of Avengers stories rewritten from the perspective of the Skrull infiltrators...

What I want to read is, I want to read "High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Is that so much to ask?

Meanwhile, Jeff Parker's glorious return to Marvel Adventures: The Avengers continues with...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #26
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by LEONARD KIRK

It's the bottom of the ninth, the Avengers are down by two, two strikes down and bases loaded. The stakes for the Cosmic Pennant have never been higher. How will Galactus call this one? Okay... we admit. We have no idea what's going on in this story. Kirk drew the cover, and now Parker has to come up with something. THAT'S GOOD COMICS!!!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


Yes.

Yes it is.


Anyway, I've gotta wrap this up for now, but before we go I wanted to direct your attention to another title coming from Marvel in July 2008 that I am VERY enthused about... and, no, it's not another Marvel Adventures all-ages title.

Check out the following, taken from a comicbookresources article...

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Stranger Than Fiction: Cornell on “Fantastic Four: True Story”

by Dave Richards, Staff Writer

There’s nothing more satisfying that just diving into a good book. This July, the First Family of Marvel Comics will do literally just that in the pages of the four-issue miniseries, “Fantastic Four: True Story,” by writer Paul Cornell (“Wisdom,” “Captain Britain and MI:13”) and artist Horacio Dominguez. CBR News spoke with Cornell about the series, which depicts the FF rubbing elbows with some of literature’s most legendary characters.

“True Story” begins with the Fantastic Four noticing a great sadness seems to have settled upon the world’s population. “Sue realizes it's got something to do with the way people interact with story. Nobody's reading anymore. Nobody's going to the movies. It's as if something bad has got into fiction,” Cornell explained. “So Reed has to invent an entire new field of human endeavor: it'll take him a few minutes and he'll need a screwdriver. This is the one where the FF ventures into fiction itself. And it's a bit like ‘Fables’ too. And I'm sure Neil Gaiman's done something with this as well, indeed. Listen, it's *Reed* that's got to invent a whole new field, not me!”

In “True Story,” the Fantastic Four visit and band together the forces of some of literature's most famous worlds to fight a bigger threat. Said Cornell, “It's swashbuckling, it's huge, it's great big galumphing *fun*, but also, gradually, these serious notes start to emerge, because there's stuff in fiction that you really wouldn't want to start having applied to you.”

He continued, “One of the lovely things about this story for me is that I get to play with these characters I love by having them interact with other characters I love. Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’ But it isn't like a school classics book, this is rollocking fun. Is that a word? And I get to comment on the relationships amongst the FF using the literary characters. Lots of jokes. Lots of cool set pieces. Extraordinary literary violence.”

For obvious reasons, the FF will only get a chance to traverse the worlds of literature’s most enduring works. “Something prevents them from visiting the more recent worlds, a barrier which cuts off about seventy five years after the death of the authors in question. No, I'm not being flippant, that limitation about copyright is very much part of the story,” Cornell said.

Among the public domain characters seen in “True Story” is Dante, the writer and narrator of “The Divine Comedy.” “[He’s] their guide in the world of fiction, and continually annoyed at being so,” Cornell said. “We crash through the walls of ‘Ivanhoe’, ‘Wind in the Willows’, and see, ahem, Dracula vs. Frankenstein! Literally. And many more, as they say.”

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"Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’"

Is there any way in the entire world that that is NOT going to be awesome???

I don't think so, really.

So, there you have it... I may be thoroughly Skrulled out, but I still love ya, Marvel Comics. You're still my drug dealer of choice!!!

[There, there... I like you too, DC. You just need to cut the crap with all your Crisis continuity-incest and stop butchering all my favorite characters...]

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As we bring this column to a close, I'd like to direct your attention to something rather remarkable that I stumbled upon earlier today. This is a blog by a comic-book reviewer, Greg Burgas, but it's nothing to do with comics. This is a blog that he's writing about his daughter, Mia, who was badly injured in a car wreck five years ago. This first paragraph will give a good sense of what this is without committing you to anything...

Today in 2003 I was in a car accident. Unfortunately, my daughter was in the back seat with me. Yes, it's the five-year anniversary of the event that changed our lives. As I do every year, I want to focus more on her progress rather than worrying about the event itself. It's just shocking to me that it's actually been five years.

That sounds like it would be incredibly depressing, I know, but that wasn't really how it felt. It's a tragic situation, yes, but... I don't know... the honesty with which he wrote about what's going on and how he and his wife deal with it... I just found it very touching, not in the schmaltzy Hallmark Card kind of way, but in a real way. Reading his brief column seemed like the "real"-est five minutes of my whole day.

Anyway, here's the link... and here's another one titled "Therapists and their motives" that I also found very thought-provoking. And, no, it's not some diatribe or conspiracy theory about therapists... it's just some musing about why the various physical and psychological therapists that are looking after his daughter sometimes seem to have conflicting goals... I thought it was pretty interesting.

At any rate... here's hoping that you are having a wonderful mid-April and that you managed to get outside and enjoy the BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL weather today... it was a lovely day and I'm feeling mighty grateful that summer is--finally!--here.

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 7: Where have all the Hooplas gone...?

Dearest Hoopla! reader...

You are, perhaps, wondering of late, "Where's my Hoopla!? Is there nothing in this frackin' world that I can depend on?"

Well, I'll tell ya...

The problem, as I see it, is that someone recently turned up the speed on the day-making machine. Used to be that I'd wake up, have some leisurely breakfast and coffee, putz around my apartment for an hour or two, shower, then head off to school to work on my dissertation or to teach or whatever... I'd work from around 1pm to maybe 5 or 6pm, come home for a quick dinner, go back to school and work some more until around 10 or 11pm, at which time I'd come home, watch a Netflix movie or show, and go to bed.

That gave me almost 10 hours of "sitting in the office" time, which made it relatively feasible to put out a regular column...

Now, however, things have changed...

Now, my days look like this...

Wake up, drink some coffee and, until about a week ago, eat some breakfast (I've got some wacky stomach virus that makes eating a very non-rewarding act... good news, I'm losing weight... bad news, there are maybe three food items I can actually digest: potatoes, white rice, and bread... and I"m getting pretty darn tired of all of 'em...)

But I digress.

Wake up, drink coffee, go to the office around noon or 1pm, then turn around and realize the day is over.

What's up with that???

A part of it, certainly, is teaching classes... it's very fun and very rewarding, but it does take up a bit of time...

Also, there's the ever-looming dissertation... I'm trying to have it finished by the end of the summer, which is a pretty ambitious schedule... particularly since I had a two-month case of Writer's Block which set me back substantially... I'm finally getting back on track, but I've got a LOT of catching up to do...

But DO bear with me, oh sweetest of all Hoopla! readers... I have not forgotten you... nor have I forgotten the way your hair smells or the sparkle in your eye... that little noise you make when you're chewing food... the one hair that dangles from within your nostril, oh so coyly...

I have not forgotten you and I shall not forsake you.

Hoopla! will be back... and - Lo! - it shall be like a mighty river... pouring through your living room and dampening your carpets... extinguishing the comic-book-review-craving fire that burns within you like a ... like a thing that burns... ferociously... yet which is not in any way related to any sort of sexual disease...

Hoopla! shall return, full of reviews and good humor... and once more we shall laugh and cry together as we ponder the imponderables together...

Don't lose hope, Dear Reader! The best is yet to come...


- Paul, 4:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, hungry for a potato

Hoopla! - Episode 6: Back from Spring Break

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Just got back from a very lovely spring break with the even lovelier Mie... we spent a few days on Emerald Isle, NC, walking along the coast of the Atlantic Ocean, collecting sea-shells, and being all romantic-y...

Oh, yes... and reading comic-books!

(Well, I did... she's not much of a comic-book person... or, at least, not American comic-books)

Anyway, I've got a bazillion comic reviews that I want to get to, but it's going to have to wait a few days as I try to get caught up on school-stuff and work-stuff...

In the meantime, though, I thought I'd show off this very cool cover to Final Crisis #2...

I had my doubts about picking up this series, based on my complete dis-interest in DC's multiple Crisis of the Convoluted Continuity series, spin-offs, and cross-overs, but I'm starting to think that this might actually be cool...

Art thou dubious? If so, read on, dear doubter...

FINAL CRISIS #2

Written by Grant Morrison

Art and covers by J.G. Jones

Meet Japan's number one pop culture heroes, the Super Young Team and their languid leader, Most Excellent Superbat! Join legendary wrestler Sonny Sumo and super escape artist Mister Miracle as they team to face the offspring of the Anti-Life Equation! See Earth's superheroes mourn one of their oldest allies! Witness costumed criminals sinking to new depths of cowardice and depravity as Libra takes things too far! Uncover the doomsday secrets of the poisoned city of Blüdhaven! Learn the shocking identity of the prime suspect in the murder of a god! And read on if you dare as Batman becomes the first of Earth's champions to face the Fallen of Apokolips. All this and a spectacular return from the dead...Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones' multiverse-spanning epic continues with bombshell after bombshell in FINAL CRISIS #2 — “Ticket to Blüdhaven”!

On sale June 25 • 2 of 7 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US

Most Excellent Super Bat? Sonny Sumo?

Yeah, this just might be pretty good, after all...

-

Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 5: DC Comics - Back in the game!!!

"...And there came a day

Lo, after much crap had been published

When the Powers That Be did say "Enow!"

"Let us not continue to peddle this drivel but,

Rather, let us put out some good comics

By talented writers and artists

And without quite so much Continuity Incest

And blood-shed."

And the clouds, they did clear

And the sun, it did shine

And the people were free to purchase DC Comics

Once again..."

- from the book of Hoopla!

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Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

As you may have guessed from the above, I'm feeling pretty happy with DC these days... after a deluge of crap, they're finally starting to put out some comics that I actually want to read!

HUZZAH!!!

I'm not that difficult, really. Not everything has to be Alan Moore level of greatness. I don't require brilliance from my Justice League of America or cutting-edge innovation in my Green Lantern.

I'm not asking them to re-invent the wheel... heck, I'd like it if they'd just learn to leave that wheel alone! Stop knocking it over on its side and setting it in flames and calling the dark, toxic fumes that emerge from the melting rubber "entertainment."

All I'm asking for is a little Smash! Bang! Pow! That's all. Sure, maybe there was a time when I wanted more from my comics... when I felt a little bit bored with the same old, same old... but the past few years of DC have shown me the error of my ways.

I didn't know how good I had it!

I don't want them to make "real" changes with "long-lasting" effects! I don't want them to try to resolve the friggin' continuity every ten minutes. Yes, the continuity makes no sense.

It's okay!!!

Just please... in the name of God... leave it be!!!

I just want to read a good comic-book.

Is that so much to ask?

Well, it looks like DC is finally getting the message (after only one year of plummeting sales) and in May of 2008 they've got a whole bunch of nifty stuff coming out...

Stuff like... this...

BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #17

Written by Fabian Nicieza

Art and cover by Kevin Maguire

Kicking off a 5-part story by Fabian Nicieza (X-Men) and Kevin Maguire (Justice League INTERNATIONAL)! Batgirl crosses paths with the Catwoman for the first time... and that's bad luck, especially for Batgirl's father: Commissioner Gordon! On sale May 14 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

I've never purchased an issue of Batman Confidential before, but holy shluh-moley!!! Kevin Maguire is a pretty easy sell... there's not much that I wouldn't buy with his art in it. The fact that it stars the early version of Batgirl and is written by Fabian Nicieza... well, that's just the icing on the proverbial cake, as the kids like to say.

I hereby predict... quality!!!

Meanwhile, over in Batman and the Outsiders, which I've been enjoying in a good-but-not-great kind of way, we have this nifty cover of Metamorpho...

Who wouldn't want to buy a comic about Metamorpho being pulled into a Washing Machine of Doom???

Er, that is a Washing Machine of Doom he's in, isn't it?

May also brings us the first issue of Final Crisis, which I'd originally intended to skip, but I read an interview with Grant Morrison in which he promised that it will have nothing at all to do with re-booting the DC universe again...

Neat cover, anyway. Very striking.

Speaking of Grant Morrison, one project that I'm not so excited about is the upcoming "Batman R.I.P." storyline, of which this "splitting headache" cover marks the second issue...

That was a grammatically twisty moment, wasn't it?


"...one project that I'm not so excited about is the upcoming "Batman R.I.P." storyline, of which this 'splitting headache' cover marks the second issue..."

Yeah, I don't know about that. If one of my students tried to pass something like that by me, you can be sure I'd circle it and in the margin I'd write "Awkward grammar."

I always say "Awkward grammar" instead of "grammatically awkward" because I'm not actually certain how to spell "grammatically." Does it end with an -ally or an -ly? I don't know. And I'm too damn lazy, er, busy to look it up.

Anyway, yeah, haven't really been enjoying Morrison's run on Batman, which kind of surprised me. It's interesting, too, because I just read this interview with him in which he discussed it and, reading the interview, I kept thinking, "Wow. That sounds really cool."

I had to keep reminding myself that I'd already read around ten issues of the damn thing and I didn't really enjoy any of them.

So, go figure.

And you know, back in the day I'd feel more compelled to pick something like this up just to find out what the big event is... I mean, obviously they're not really going to kill Batman, but something is going to happen... and I'm just naive enough to think it's going to somehow be important or noteworthy. Maybe he'll lose an arm? Turn red? Get married? Get divorced? Make a deal with the devil? Get a fourth... no, fifth Robin?

I'm curious, sure. But the great thing about the world today is that we have the internet... which means that I'm going to know the big secret approximately ten seconds after the first person reads that issue... so, even if I purchased "Batman R.I.P.," I'd know what happened long before I actually read it.

So, that's cool.

Just think, if we'd had the internet back during the days of Knightfall... oh, the money I could have saved...

This is a tough one.





The above is the first issue of a 12-issue Batman story illustrated by Kelly Jones.





Kelly Jones draws a rockin' good Batman, despite the rather dopey looking cover illustration.





[And seriously... GREEN? Whose bright idea was it to place a NEON GREEN background behind Batman??? Um, people? He comes out at night. That means you can use black, dark blue, or maybe a dark crimson if you want to suggest blood. Those are your options. You may NOT use SUNNY YELLOW, JOLLY ORANGE, PINK of any kind, or NEON GREEN.]





Anyway, it might be good... but it's written by Steve Niles and, nothing against the guy, but I've not yet read a comic by him that I thought was any good.





Yes, the concept for 30 Days of Night was very clever. I acknowledge that.





But his actual writing...?





Mediocre, at best.





So, I just don't know...





BATMAN: GOTHAM AFTER MIDNIGHT #1


Written by Steve Niles


Art and cover by Kelley Jones


"There are things that go 'bump' in the night. Be thankful that one of those things is on our side…" When the full moon rises and casts its eerie glow over the land, the creatures of the night come out to hunt and feast and prey on the innocent citizens of Gotham City, and only one man stands in their way: The Batman. These are the bizarre and frightening case files of the Dark Knight Detective, featuring grave-robbers, men making monsters, night terrors, and the debut of an all-new moonlight monster known only as Midnight. In this fatal first issue by the creative team of Steve Niles (30 Days of Night, SIMON DARK) and Kelley Jones (BATMAN: RED RAIN), Batman will come face-to-face with the Master of Fear himself - but just what is the Scarecrow after? And what does it have to do with the Axeman? Could it be some elaborate scheme to trap the Bat? Be here at the beginning - and beware! On sale May 28 o 1 of 12 o 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US



I just like this next cover... I like that giant, grinning alien coming at you, just asking for a hug...

"Marty... how are ya...?"

That's what I imagine him saying, somehow.

And now, Best Cover of the Year...

I've not yet read a single issue of Tiny Titans, and yet already it's my favorite comic-book series in the world.

Go figure.

This next cover, which I actually find rather non-descript, is for the first issue of House of Mystery, which I think is going to be very, very cool.

Here's the solicitation:

HOUSE OF MYSTERY #1

Written by Matthew Sturges & Bill Willingham

Art by Luca Rossi

Cover by Sam Weber, Variant cover by Bernie Wrightson

Matthew Sturges, writer of the Eisner-nominated JACK OF FABLES, and his JACK co-writer Bill Willingham, proudly unlock the doors to the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, a new ongoing series that reinvents a classic DC Comics concept. HOUSE OF MYSTERY focuses on five characters trapped in a supernatural bar, trying to solve the mystery of how and why they're imprisoned there. Each one has a terrible past they'd like to forget, and with no books, newspapers or TV allowed in the House, they face an eternity of boredom. But stories become the new currency, and fortunately, the House attracts only the finest storytellers.

In addition to the ongoing trials and struggles of the five unfortunate souls trapped within the HOUSE OF MYSTERY, illustrated by superstar artist Luca Rossi, each issue in the first storyline also includes a short tale, as told by one of the customers, written by Willingham and illustrated by a host of fine guest artists, including two-time Eisner Award nominee Ross Campbell (WATERBABY, Wet Moon), SANDMAN fan favorite and multiple Eisner winner Jill Thompson, and classic horror artist Bernie Wrightson, whose first published work was in House of Mystery #179. This series is topped off with ethereal, jaw-dropping covers from Sam Weber (The New Yorker, The New York Times, Time Magazine)and a stunning variant cover by Wrightson on the debut issue.

"This is a book where you can have a pirate, a psychic detective, a spaceman, a French romantic poet and an NYU film student sitting at a table having a beer together. It's a writer's dream come true."— Matthew Sturges

“Let's be perfectly clear: There isn't just one mystery in the new House of Mystery. It's actually chock-full of mysteries, all of which will be thrilling and exciting as they unfold over the course of the series.”— Bill Willingham

On sale May 7 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US • MATURE READERS



Okay, so that looks... cool.

And on that rather in-eloquent note, I must to be going...

There's loads more stuff I was hoping to cover, but the time... it does not permit...

On a quick, more personal note, I would just like for the record to show that this month... that is, February of 2008, has been one of the suckiest months I have lived through in many, many years... and I am glad to see it fading into the distance behind me...

Here's hoping that March is a little bit more user-friendly and a little bit less full of cactus-in-the-eye moments...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 4: Orgasmic Comics in May!!!

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Sweet Christmas!!! The solicitations for DC and Marvel books coming out in May of 2008 were released yesterday and they are... awe-inspiring.

I am inspired. And shocked and awed.

DC's solicitations are better-than-average, yes, but Marvel... Marvel truly loves me. I always suspected it, but now I know this to be true.

The proof...? See for yourself:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #559

Written by DAN SLOTT

Penciled by MARCOS MARTIN

Cover by ED MCGUINNESS

Peter Parker: Paparazzi! Part 1 of 3"The Money Shot"The DB, New York's trashiest tabloid, has just hired the sleaziest, most muckraking, lowlife paparazzi of them all...PETER PARKER?! Say it ain't so, true believer! Also in this ish, J. Jonah Jameson finds inner peace and harmony...(Hey, it could happen! Maybe.) All this and the first ever livestreaming super-villain: Screwball! Dan Slott returns to Spidey, and he's bringing Marcos Martin (DOCTOR STRANGE: THE OATH) with him!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #560

Written by DAN SLOTT

Pencils and cover by MARCOS MARTIN

Peter Parker: Paparazzi! Part 2 of 3"Flat Out Crazy"Are Pete's paparazzi pics inspiring a super celebrity stalker? Is he responsible for all of her grisly acts? Even if he is, what can Spider-Man do about it? How can anyone stop the flatout freaky powers of Paper Doll? Also: Miss this issue, and you'll miss out on SOMETHING YOU'VE ALL BEEN ASKING FOR!!! Write it down, Spider-fans, ASM #560!!!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

Hmm... Dan Slott writing Amazing Spider-Man? Marcos Martin doing the art? A new villain named Paper Doll?

And SOMETHING I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR...?

Dude, I'm so there...

AVENGERS/INVADERS #1 (of 12)

Written by Jim Krueger and Alex Ross

Penciled by Steve Sadowski

Cover by ALEX ROSS

Legends Live Again. The original Invaders (Captain America , Bucky , Human Torch , Toro , and the Sub-Mariner) return in a twelve issue maxi-series by the award winning team behind EARTH X, Justice and Project Superpowers .The greatest super-team of World War II finds themselves transported from the battlefields of the Second World War to a future they never imagined! Now, the Invaders find themselves confronted by two teams of Avengers who want desperately to believe these heroes are who they say they are, while Tony Stark faces his greatest challenge since the Civil War as he must deal with the “return” of Steve Rogers. Confronted by a world they barely recognize, the Invaders will have to show two teams of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes just what kind of power, courage and sheer determination it took to defeat the forces of unrelenting evil in the Twentieth century. In fact…they may just have to do it again in the Twenty-First.32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

On the one hand, I was thoroughly unimpressed by Alex Ross, Krueger and Sadowski on the first issue of Project: Superpowers. On the other hand, I really enjoyed Justice and, quite frankly, this looks awesome.

So, I am cautiously optimistic...

I believe I've already mentioned that I'm loving Brubaker's run on Captain America, so I'll simply add that the above cover kicks some serious butt.

Okay... so the above cover is rather "meh," but I think this series is going to be super-deluxe fun. Why? Well, let's see what they have to say for themselves...

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #1
Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING
Penciled by PAUL PELLETIER
Cover by CLINT LANGLEY
Launching out of ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST, Marvel’s sci-fi heroes unite to protect the cosmos! Back-to-back Annihilation wars have weakened the boundaries of our universe. Dark gods and monsters are seeping through the cracks, reigning horror upon those still reeling from the recent calamities. In the face of terror, who stands to defend a desperate universe? Star-Lord and his squad of butt-kickers – the modern day Guardians of the Galaxy! You’ve heard that ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST rocks – the guy at the comic shop keeps telling you to try NOVA – well, now’s your chance to experience the glory that writers Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning and artist Paul Pelletier can unleash! All this…plus a wise-cracking raccoon and a telepathic dog! C’mon, people, time to lock and load!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

I'm loving Abnett and Lanning on Nova and this looks like it may be even better, with characters like Rocket Racoon and Cosmo, the telepathic Russian dog starring in it...

Here's a pretty good interview with the authors to help get you psyched...



And here's a very brief excerpt from that interview... a promo by editor Bill Roseman...

“If you want to see Marvel continue to explore a variety of genres, give issue #1 a chance,” Rosemann stated. “And if you like what you see, spread the word. Yes, ‘Guardians’ will push all those superhero buttons that we all love -- troubled heroes, sinister challenges, emotional intrigue and jaw-dropping cliff-hangers-- but it's also a sci-fi book packed with amazing worlds, mind-blowing technology, wild life forms and intense space warfare. And like all good sci-fi storytellers, the creators will comment on humanity with visuals and metaphors that will hopefully be thought provoking and maybe even controversial. And, who am I kidding, if you just want to see bad-ass fighters, hot femme fatales, a high-tech HQ in a decapitated Celestial head, a telepathic Russian cosmonaut dog, and a smart-mouth raccoon with a penchant for heavy armaments, we'll have all that too.”


And then there's this...



MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #24
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by LEONARD KIRK
FAN FAVE JEFF PARKER RETURNS!Giant-Girl hates Spider-Man. Spider-Man hates Ant-Man. Ant-Man hates Iron Man. Iron Man hates...everyone. Where is all this hate coming from? Some kind of... MONGER, perhaps?32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.

Jeff Parker on Marvel Adventures: The Avengers.


Why is Marvel so good to me...?

And then there's this...

It may not be immediately apparent why the above is of any interest. Let's take a look at the soliciation, shall we...?

CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI: 13 #1

Written by PAUL CORNELL

Penciled by LEONARD KIRK

Cover by BRYAN HITCH

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!The Skrull Invasion isn’t restricted to the US. When the Skrull Invasion hits England, only Captain Britain and MI: 13 stand in their way. Can they find out what the Skrulls are after before it’s too late? 32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

Hm. Nope. Still not clear.

Well, here's the thing...

Paul Cornell (the writer) did a limited series about a year ago, Wisdom, which starred PeteWisdom and which received rave reviews from all the right people but which sold about 4 copies.

I've never read it because by the time I heard that it was good, it was already almost over and, honestly, it was a bit too expensive to jump into at that point.

This, however, is a sort-of follow-up to that limited series and, based on this interview, I think it's going to be pretty darn neat. And the extra-good news is that the trade paperback that collects the limited series is relatively cheap... over at mailordercomics.com, they have it for a mere $13.19 (originally $21.99), which is a pretty good price considering it was a six issue mini-series and I think each individual issue was $3.50 or thereabouts.

So, I'm pre-ordering the TPB for April and then will be fully and utterly prepared to enjoy CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI: 13 #1 when it comes out in May.

I've got a hunch about this one, folks...

Oh, and here's an interview with the writer/artist/editor...

Meanwhile...

INCREDIBLE HERCULES #117

Written by GREG PAK & FRED VAN LENTE

Penciled by RAFA SANDOVAL

Cover JOHN ROMITA JR., KLAUS JANSON & DEAN WHITE

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!The Greek Goliath gathers the most powerful super-team ever assembled to counter-attack the Skrull gods! Face front, True Believers, and prepare for the pantheon-pounding premiere of... THE GOD SQUAD!32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

I'm enjoying this title a lot and I feel certain that the pantheon-pounding premier of THE GOD SQUAD will only make it better...

And now, here's perhaps my favorite solicitation text of the month...

OMEGA: THE UNKNOWN #8 (of 10)
Written by JONATHAN LETHEM & KARL RUSNAK
Pencils & Cover by FAREL DALRYMPLE & PAUL HORNSCHEMEIER
The Overthinker sings The Ballad of The Bearded Superhero, while the Fonziebot takes a short walk off a tall skyscraper, and Alex meets the real Nowhere Man and battles his robotics professor on the Columbia University quad -- all this and more, as the story of Jonathan Lethem and Farel Dalrymple's OMEGA THE UNKNOWN saga approaches its mad climax!32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99

How can you possibly not want to read this???

Honestly, they had me at The Ballad of The Bearded Superhero.

Anyway, there's a ton of other good stuff coming from Marvel in May, but my poor little head is getting weary. I'll add a bit more commentary on what Marvel's coming up in May, however, and a look at some of DC and Image's most interesting upcoming books in a very short while...

How short?

VERY short.

Until then, please to be enjoying the life as best you can, as I too will be doing the same...

- Paul