Hello and welcome to Hoopla!
In my last column, I criticized a recent solicitation for having a dopey tag-line.
But then it occurred to me... tag-lines are the new black!
So, I've decided to provide tag-lines for some of my favorite (or not) comic-book series...
I wanted to start off with The Incredible Hulk because I'm really enjoying the "World War Hulk" storyline that's going on right now and feel it would be a prime candidate for a tag-line. First I went through all the most obvious choices, such as:
They exiled him to a hostile planet. They killed his wife and unborn child... Now he’s back. And it’s payback time.
But that's way too obvious. Same goes for:
You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry...
Hey, it's been done a million times before. But how about this...?
Hulk Smash.
With Moxie!!!
Similarly, the current Captain America storyline, in which he's dead, seems to warrant a tag-line of its own. The obvious, boring choice would be:
Captain America is dead... but his story is just beginning...
But rather than go the easy route, I suggest the following...
Captain America... DEAD!!! DEAD!!! DEAD!!!
One of the more unexpected spin-offs of the painfully convuluted Countdown limited series is the upcoming Countdown: Lord Havok and the Extremists 4-issue mini-series, starring a group of characters that I believe were last seen about 10 or 15 years ago, giving us:
Countdown: Lord Havok and the Extremists.
Just because...
For one of my favorite recent series, The Irredeemable Ant-Man, I propose the following:
One tiny man. One cancelled series.
And for Countdown itself...
52 weekly issues. 74 fragments of stories that are continued from other series. Countdown.
Sometimes, quality is the first thing to go...
And then, for All-Star Batman (written by Frank Miller, art by Jim Lee), we have this...
Frank Miller. Wants you. To. Know. The Goddam Batman. Is. Really. Tough.
or, alternatively...
Frank Miller. Jim Lee. Batman.
It sounded good in theory...
And finally, for now, I decided that my own column could use a really catchy tag-line to help draw in the crowds. And so, somewhat self-indulgently...
They said it would be weekly.
They said it would feature comic-book reviews.
They lied.
Well, that's all for this installment of Hoopla! I strongly encourage you, the bashful reader, to send in YOUR favorite tag-lines that oughtta-be...
Until next week...
- Paul
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1 comment:
I think superhero comics in general could use a good tag line to get the industry cooking again. Here are some ideas
Superhero comics:
-Yes, believe it or not, they still make them.
-Don't call them graphic novels, call them, um, wait, I have to work on this one more
-Feel the thrill, for a price. That keeps going up.
-Relive the wonder days of yesteryear, when you ran around in your underwear
-Buy it today, read it tonight. Instead of going out. With friends. Or girls.
Ok, I'm out of ideas.
- Hulk Advertising
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