Hoopla! - Episode 11: Good Things to Come - Marvel Comics!!!

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

You know, ever since I posted that last column, talking about the August 2008 solicitations for DC Comics, my mail box has been stuffed full of letters, all wanting to know the same thing...

What about the Marvel Comics??? Will there be Skrulls??? Will there be lots and lots of Skrulls??? Will it light up the whole world...?

Well, now, just calm yourself down, li'l feller... there'll be Skrulls! Heck, yeah, there'll be Skrulls... Skrulls enough for you, your friends, your family, and even enough for ol' Mrs. Wilson who lives down the road...

Skrull limited series! Skrull crossovers! Skrull t-shirts and Skrull coffee mugs! Skrulls enough to fill all your Skrully needs!!!

But that's not all...

In addition to the ubiquitous Skrull tie-ins (SECRET INVASION #5, MIGHTY AVENGERS #17, NEW AVENGERS #44, AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #16, SECRET INVASION: INHUMANS #1 (of 4), SECRET INVASION: THOR #1 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: X-MEN #1 (of 4), SECRET INVASION: SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY #1 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: RUNAWAYS/YOUNG AVENGERS #3 (of 3), SECRET INVASION: FRONT LINE #2 (of 5), GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY #4, NOVA #16, INCREDIBLE HERCULES #120, MS. MARVEL #30, CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI:13 #4, X-FACTOR #34, SHE-HULK #32, THUNDERBOLTS #123, NEW WARRIORS #15, BLACK PANTHER #40, and, of course, SKRULLS VS. POWER PACK #2 (of 4)) there are a few other things coming out in August as well...

[In case you're wondering, that's 21 different titles tying into the big Skrull storyline in August... at about 3 bucks a pop, that's roughly 63 dollars for August... if, y'know, you wanna follow the Skrull storyline in its total awesome-nality-ness...]

And while we're talking about the Skrulls... incidentally... and just so none of you go running around and accusing me of xenophobia... I'd just like to point out that I did, in fact, purchase and read Secret Invasion #1, as well as the New Avengers and Mighty Avengers tie-ins that came out in April, and I actually quite enjoyed them all...

So, let's just be careful about that rumor-mongering, yeah...?

But, as I was saying... not everything is about the Skrulls, y'know. There's some other stuff coming out in August of interest...

"Such as...?" you ask, in that taunting, mocking tone that absolutely makes me want to slug you...

Well, lemme tell ya...

SPIDER-MAN SUMMER SPECIAL

Written by KEITH GIFFEN & PAUL TOBIN

Art by RICK BURCHETT & COLLEEN COOVER

August is still summer, right? Yeah? COOL! Then we’re hittin’ ya up with two ALL-NEW Spidey stories from times when he wasn’t Secretly Invading or Branding New Days. First, Spidey teams up with Falcon to handle an outbreak of futuristic weaponry showing up in Harlem, and then MARY JANE takes center stage as she teams up with She-Hulk, Hellcat, Marvel Girl and some other lovely ladies to take on The Enchantress, in this one-shot!48 PGS./Rated A …$3.99

Why is this of interest? Well, I'll give you four reasons...

1) Keith Giffen

2) Paul Tobin

3) Rick Burchett (He's actually sort of hit-or-miss... used to love his art, but his work on She-Hulk was just plain lame...)

4) Colleen Coover


And then there's this...

SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #1 (of 5)

Written by TERRY MOORE

Penciled by CRAIG ROUSSEAU

Cover by TERRY MOORE

At long, long, long, looooooooooooooooong last, SHE’S BACK!Mary Jane Watson, in her very own adventures! Superstar writer Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise, upcoming RUNAWAYS) supplies story (and covers!) and artist Craig Rousseau (The Perhapanauts) brings his best for this all-new mini.It’s the beginning of a new high school year. MJ finally feels like she’s got her life in order. Good friends, good classes, good relationship with a certain Wall-Crawler…but is there someone behind the scenes that’s got it in for our rambunctious redhead?

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Okay, so... why-oh-why am I recommending something called Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane?

Is it because I'm a total dweeb?

Sure, there's that... but it's also because it's being written by Terry Moore.

I don't know if it'll be great... I don't even know if it'll be good... but, at the very least, it oughtta be interesting...

FANTASTIC FOUR: TRUE STORY #2 (of 4)

Written by PAUL CORNELL

Penciled by HORACIO DOMINGUEZ

The FF's emergency exploration of the worlds of fiction continues as they burst through the covers of Ivanhoe and start to gather an army against the onrushing darkness. And the surprise villain behind this whole weird collision is revealed! (Warning: do not keep True Story too close to your other comic books. It may freak them out.)

32 PGS./Rated A …$2.99

I talked about this limited series quite a lot last month, so I'll just say this... Ivanhoe meets Fantastic Four.

Guaranteed Hollywood summer blockbuster...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #27

Written by JEFF PARKER

Penciled by IG GUARA

Cover by LEONARD KIRK

Marvel: Okay, 27 is your final Avengers issue- we're expecting something special.

Parker: Oh don't you worry, it will be. Heh.

Marvel: Really? Great! Who's in it?

Parker: Um... the guy with the thing- trust me, it's going to RAWK.

Marvel: You don't know what the story is yet, do you.

Parker: -think my phone's running out of juice-zzzz-can barely hear you--- bwip*

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

Now that's what I call a solicitation...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #2

Written by PAUL TOBIN

Penciled by ALVIN LEE

Iron Man, Hulk and Spidey rocket into space to stop a potentially devastating meteor shower from reaching Earth, but are surprised to find the meteors are actually Meteor Men, a group of intergalactic frat boys engaging in their most awesomely favorite extreme sport: Planet-Bombing. After negotiations (Could the Hulk quit hitting us, please?) the Meteor Men agree not to bombard Earth IF the heroes show them an equally good time on a variety of other planets, and other extreme sports. Will our heroes survive Albernathean Rhino Riding? How about Kree Karaoke? Or the galaxy’s most dangerous extreme sport, Black Hole Bungee Jumping?

32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

I'm going to be seriously disappointed if there isn't really Kree Karaoke in that comic...

RUNAWAYS #1
Written by TERRY MOORE
Pencils & Cover by HUMBERTO RAMOS
Come see the beginning of a whole new Runaways! Comics legend Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise, Echo) and super-star artist Humberto Ramos (X-MEN, WOLVERINE, SPIDER-MAN) run back to Los Angeles with your favorite teen heroes. But it’s not the same city they left so long ago. The Runaways try to stay off the radar, but the sins of their parents won’t make that possible…
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$2.99


Again with the Terry Moore...


So, I really have no idea if this new Runaways series is going to be any good or not... it could go either way. I will say this... the recent storyline by Whedon has been unbearable. I mean, no, it's not really that bad of a story... God knows we've all read worse... but the sheer mediocrity of the writing and the art combined with the erratic scheduling has really sucked the fun and excitement out of this series...


The biggest question mark here is going to be the art by Ramos... you can tell by the cover that he's going for a pretty radically different look than the previous artists... and I'm just not sure how well it's going to work. But, hey, I'll give it a shot...



NYX: NO WAY HOME #1 (of 6)
Written by MARJORIE LIU
Penciled by KALMAN ANDRASOFSZKY
Cover by ALINA URUSOV
There’s no place like home—just ask young mutant KIDEN NIXON. She’s survived the hard streets of Manhattan, and she’s built a home—and a family—for herself, with her friends TATIANA, BOBBY SOUL and his LI’L BRO. But with fewer than 200 mutants left on the planet, Kiden’s become a target—and when somebody strikes at one of her friends, Kiden’s going to find out just how much farther she can fall! Don’t miss the breathtaking return of this beloved series, by NEW YORK TIMES best-selling writer MARJORIE LIU (the DIRK & STEELE SERIES) with stunning art by KALMAN ANDRASOFSZKY! Plus—a special behind-the-scenes gallery!
40 PGS./Parental Advisory …$3.99


Wow. This looks... powerful.




Ha! No, I'm just kidding... I don't actually know anything at all about Marjorie Liu or Kalman Andravsky... er... Kalman A., and maybe they're both brilliant and maybe... just maybe... I will live to regret my flippant dismissal of their fine new limited series, but here's what I do know...


Bobby Soul is a really, really stupid name.

I mean, seriously... that's right out of those 1970's "socially relevant" Green Lantern/Green Arrow comics by O'Neil and Adams...

This issue: Green Arrow and Green Lantern must face the grim underbelly of the ghettoes in the tale we simply had to call:


"Bobby Soul Don't Live Here No More!"



And Li'l Bro?





Li'l Bro?????


"Sweet Christmas!!! It's Li'l Bro!!!"


So, here's the math on that...




Bobby Soul + Li'l Bro + "She's survived the hard streets of Manhatten" + mutant angst = six issues of solid Turd



That's what I know about that...

--------------------------


And on that lovely note, I bid you farewell with this very special message to that group of Democrat women who have publicly vowed to NOT vote for Barack Obama if he wins the Democratic nomination... which he already has, by the way...


It's all fine and well that you would like for there to be a female president... it's ridiculous that there hasn't been one up until now and I can well understand your frustration...


BUT...


McCain??? Supreme Court nominations???


I'm just saying...


- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 10: Good Things to Come -- DC Comics!!!

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

This column is going to take a look at some of the DC solicitations for August of 2008 and, who knows, maybe it will actually be followed by another column looking at Marvel solicitations.

But I'm not promising that.

I'm not promising A DARN THING!!!

So... please do bear that in mind...

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #51

Written by Michael Green & Mike Johnson

Art by Rafael Albuequerque

The Man of Steel and the Dark Knight are shocked to discover little versions of themselves fighting a threat in Metropolis. But where did these tiny heroes come from? As Superman and Batman search for answers, things get worse with the arrival of the Li’l League!On sale August 20 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99

I've been thoroughly enjoying Superman/Batman ever since Michael Green and Mike Johnson started writing it... which, I realize, makes me the only person in the entire universe reading it.

Or, at least, I'm the only one willing to admit to it...

But, anyhow, it's been a very fun series and issue #51 looks to be more of the same... I mean, the Li'l League??? How is that not going to be awesome???

The above is the cover to Green Lantern Corps, which I do not buy. And I will not pick up this issue, either. But, hey, it's a cool cover... isn't it?

And speaking of neat covers to comics that I'm not actually interested in reading, the above is a cool Alex Ross cover for Superman #679.

SUPERMAN #679

Written by James Robinson

Art by Renato Guedes & José Wilson Magalháes

Cover by Alex Ross

Two supermen: One, a man of yore, the other, the Man of Tomorrow! Atlas and Superman continue their all-out war, with Metropolis as the prize. But for all his power, Superman seems unable to defeat this titan of myth. With our hero down for the count, it will take another, unexpected hero to save the day.Guest-starring Supergirl and – someone else!On sale August 27 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US

There was a time when James Robinson's name on a comic was pretty much a guarantee that it was gonna rock, but those days are long past. I seem to have this hazy, vague recollection of purchasing numerous post-Starman James Robinson comics, one after another, that really sucked and thinking, "What the hell happened to this guy? When did he forget how to write?"

I don't recall which comics these were, but I think this really did happen. It was not a dream, a hoax, or an imaginary story.

So, for that reason, even though Alex Ross has been making very pretty covers for Robinson's new run on Superman, I ain't buying. Not, at least, until I read some positive reviews that convince me otherwise...

This... on the other hand... this looks good to me.

ACTION COMICS #868

Written by Geoff Johns

Art by Gary Frank & Jon Sibal

“Brainiac” part 3 of 5! The frightening storyline that sets the stage for the SUPERMAN event of 2008 continues. Against everyone’s advice, Superman has journeyed to the deepest reaches of space to initiate contact with an alien being he thought he knew: Brainiac. But after learning about the truth behind Brainiac’s existence and his plans for Earth, Superman may regret his decision.On sale August 13 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99


I've really been enjoying Johns and Frank on Action Comics, thus far, and the upcoming Braniac storyline looks to be VERY cool...

And that...? That's a goat.

It may look familiar to some of you. Perhaps you have seen that goat before? In a dream, perhaps? Or staring at you through your bedroom window?

Who knows?

It's that kind of goat... the kind that leaves you wondering...

SUPER FRIENDS #6

Written by Sholly Fisch

Art by Dario Brizuela

You’re invited to a special day: The Challenge of The Super Friends! Thrill as our heroes design special traps for each other at a charity event. Chill as those traps are sabotaged by the Key! How will they escape? On sale August 20 • 32 pg, FC, $2.25

I know, I know... it's the Super Friends. But doesn't that sound like a neat premise for a comic? I only wish Justice League of America was doing fun stories like that instead of this incessant crap about Red Tornado's robot body being possessed and/or stolen by Amazo and even stupid-er stories about Vixen's stupid animal powers not working properly.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT RED TORNADO'S STUPID ROBOT BODY AND VIXEN'S STUPID STUPID STUPID ANIMAL POWERS!!!

And, seriously, which cover looks better to you... the above one with the Super Friends caught in a cage, or this...

Exactly.

And then, finally, there's this...

EMIKO SUPERSTAR

Written by Mariko Tamaki

Art and cover by Steve Rolston

“Auspicious . . . an unusually strong graphic novel – rich in visuals and observations.”— Publishers Weekly on Tamaki’s Skim

A borrowed diary, a double life and identity issues fuel a teenager’s quest to find herself before she cracks and commits social suicide. Watch Emi go from dull, suburban babysitter to eclectic urban art star compliments of one crazy summer! October 1 • 5.25” x 8” • 176 pg, FC, B&W, $9.99 US

Does anyone remember the brand name DC had for these little black and white graphic novels for teens? I can't think of it, offhand, and for some odd reason it isn't mentioned anywhere in the solicitation, but anyway, I'm assuming this is one of those...

Anyway, I really enjoy Steve Rolston's art and... and, so there.

Oddly, it seems to be coming out in October... which makes it a peculiar choice for the August 2008 solicitations. But, hey... what do I know???

Well, that's all for now... there are a few other DC books I'll be getting in August, including Booster Gold, Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds, Ambush Bug, Justice Society of America, and Green Lantern, but they didn't have particularly interesting covers, so... so there it is.

Incidentally, I just want everyone to know that I just got a new haircut today and I'm very pleased with it. I'm in a sharing mood, and that's something that I wanted to share with all of you.

- Paul, a sharing guy

Hoopla! - Episode 9: Mack Daddy Grimm???

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Well, it's been a long while and you can be sure that I've been thinking of y'all... thinking warm, fuzzy thoughts...

But warm, fuzzy thoughts don't pay the rent, buster...

Although, come to think of it... nothing I do pays the rent...

Hm. How am I going to pay the rent this month?

Oh, well... that's a problem for June 1... right now, we're smack dab in the middle of May 2008 and THAT means it's time for some comic-book reviews...

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #121

Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS

Pencils & Cover by STUART IMMONEN

This was kind of a usual, no big changes to the status quo kind of story... some very funny moments, as when Peter Parker reveals his burnt baby to the class...

(that could actually sound very strange if you haven't read the actual story, I suppose...)

Still not entirely used to Immonen's art... I mean, there are times when it totally works for me, but then there are other times when I miss Mark Bagley... Hey, the guy illustrated over a hundred issues of this thing... it's going to take a while to get used to someone else's interpretation...

Y'know, I've been reading a lot of articles about BIG CHANGES COMING TO THE ULTIMATE UNIVERSE... But, I must confess, I'm not that interested. The Ultimate Universe doesn't need big changes... it doesn't need a huge crossover that reveals that everything you thought you knew was wrong... all it really needs is some good writers and some artists telling some good stories.

That's it.

That's all anyone really expects from the Ultimate Universe. And that was the key to its success for so long... all the comics published within its little sub-universe were good.

Kind of ingenious, really...

But, Ultimate Spider-Man is the only title that's really kept that going... I think there's pretty much universal recognition that Ultimate X-Men has sucked for years... and bringing in Ultimate Apocalypse, Ultimate Cable, Ultimate Mr. Sinister, and Ultimate Arms-Fall-Off Lad didn't help...

Yeah, so, anyway, not interested in that big ORIGINS OF ULTIMATE UNIVERSE thing they've got coming up... I honestly don't care about the origins of the Ultimate Universe. I just want to see Spider-Man make with the funnies while he swings around fighting crime and having soap opera-esque problem emerge in his personal life...

That's all.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #556–557

Written by ZEB WELLS

Pencils & Cover by CHRIS BACHALO

Speaking of Spider-Man... and I was... this three-part story by Wells and Bachalo rocked my world!!!

This is the best art I've seen from Bachalo in a long, long time... and the story is funny, action-packed, has moment of well done drama (the homeless guy who gives back Spider-Man's winter coat, the reveal at the end of issue 2, etc.)... all in all, a perfect little comic-book story.

I know a lot of readers insisted that they were going to drop Amazing Spider-Man because they were so angry at the end of whatever that storyline was called... the thing where Peter Parker and Mary Jane made a deal with Mephisto that if he would re-set their continuity so that they were never married, they'd get a sales boost and no one would ever mention it again... but anyway, yes, that thing sucked, but this thing is something different, so I don't really understand how hating the one equals not buying the other.

I know, I know... it's the principle of the thing.

But, here's the problem with THAT....

For one thing, it's completely different writers, different artists, a different editor...

And, really, if you want to "punish" comic-book companies for putting out terrible storylines, then by all means let's stop buying all Superman-related titles because of that horrible Superman Red/Superman Blue thing they did ten years back... the resolution to that was completely unsatisfying... and if you're going to complain about retroactively f#cking up the continuity, you better not be purchasing any X-Men comics... or need I remind you of the whole "Jean Grey wasn't really Jean Grey when she died, she was actually in a cocoon at the bottom of the ocean" thing...?

So, yeah... just don't even start with me.

Good comics is good comics... and Amazing Spider-Man is, at this moment in time, good comics!!!

So there.

And that?

That, my friend, is a goat.

And yes, he's looking at you... Got a problem with that?

ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST #6 (of 6)

Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING

Penciled by TOM RANEY & WELLINTON ALVES

This is it: Marvel's rag-tag group of sci-fi heroes vs. Ultron – in a double-sized finale! The surviving warriors face-off on the battlefield, with the fate of the entire Kree Empire – and perhaps the Earth itself – at stake! Who will fall? Who will rise to become a legend? It's an extra helping of adventure, humor, drama and eye-candy that IGN.com calls "one of the best event books of the year."48 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Yeah... this ended up being not so great, really...

I like these same writers on Nova and I'm looking forward to their upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy series... and there were certainly moments that were very entertaining (pretty much any page with Groot)... but overall...

meh.

Too much sturm and drang, too little Groot.

FANTASTIC FOUR #556

Written by MARK MILLAR

Pencils & Cover by BRYAN HITCH

Man, that's one butt-ugly cover, isn't it?

You'd think... or, at least, I would think... that Millar and Hitch on Fantastic Four would be a good thing... a "oh my god that's gonna be awesome" kind of thing.

I mean, Mark Millar did a year's worth of stories on Ultimate Fantastic Four, which is practically the same damn book, and it was great... four action-packed, fun, wacky stories...

And Bryan Hitch???

Don't even get me started...

But, surprisingly, this really isn't very good. This is the third issue to come out and I was just sort of being patient through the first two... I was thinking, "Okay, they haven't quite found their rhythm yet, but when they do... Hoo-boy!!!"

And yes, I really do think things like "Hoo-boy!!!"

At any rate...

There are a lot of problems with this run, but I think the main one is that it doesn't feel like a Fantastic Four story... and that's a problem, because this is the Fantastic Four.

Example: Ben Grimm hooks up with a school-teacher in the first issue... his character is very smooth with the ladies, very much a... oh, what do the kids say?... oh, yeah... he's a mack daddy.

Well, that's not Ben Grimm. Ben Grimm spent a bazillion years dating a blind woman because he's so hideous that people, upon first seeing him, think he's a monster.

That's why he's called The Thing and not The Attractive, Well-Adjusted Orange Guy...

So, sure, you don't have to show him moping around all the time, because that does get tedious, but you can't suddenly having him comfortably flirting with attractive women... it doesn't work.

Example #2: Showing us, in the third issue, that Johnny Storm had sex with that super-villain. Y'know... it's not like I care. I'm definitely not in the camp of people who thinks that such things are inherently inappropriate for comics... but, at the same time, this is a comic that is allegedly for kids. It's the Fantastic Four. And Johnny Storm meets this woman, fights her for a few pages, and the next scene they're in bed together, it's the next morning, and we get to see her ridiculous "sexy" underwear that only women in comic-books actually wear...

I don't know... it just doesn't seem like The Fantastic Four is really the place for that... it's just not... appropriate. Or interesting.

But the single most annoying thing about this comic is the storyline... so, here's the deal... an ex-girlfriend of Reed Richards shows up and tells him that she needs his help... it turns out that she and her rich, scientist husband have joined a group called THE TRUST... and THE TRUST has discovered that, due to environmental damage, the Earth will be uninhabitable in about ten years, so they've found a way to get into some pocket universe or something and they are rebuilding the Earth and the moon...

Okay, so that's stupid. What do you stand on while you build the Earth? And how does the gravity of that work? And if there's no sun yet, because they haven't built it, how does the.. and the... and the...

So, that's stupid.

Then, because nothing's happened yet of any interest, the robot thing that's supposed to be in charge of security--it's called CAP--on this new world goes nuts and starts killing everyone... not so original, but whatever... but here's the REALLY stupid thing... so, S.H.I.E.L.D. sends their top 40 super-heroes... Storm and Wolverine and Hercules, etc. ... and we see that the robot has defeated all of them as the Fanstastic Four arrive.

Now, how does that work, exactly? It was build by the ex-girlfriend and her husband and their friend, but somehow it's powerful enough to defeat forty super-heroes? And there's no way to... y'know... shut it off?

Anyway, it's stupid to even talk about it because it's such a stupid story...

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

So, uh, that's my review.

And now, before I go, here are some good things coming up...

That is a cover for Jonah Hex #33.

I know, I know... who cares?

But, get this... the art for this one issue is by Darwyn Cooke.

Jonah Hex #33... I'm just sayin'...

Ambush Bug?

Ambush Bug.

AMBUSH BUG: YEAR NONE #1

Written by Keith Giffen & Robert Loren Fleming


Art by Giffen & Al Milgrom

Ambush Bug.

Keith Giffen.

Ambush Bug.

And, finally...

and...

All coming your way in July 2008.

And now, I must go do that thing that I do...

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 8: Kvetching about those VERDAMMT Skrulls!!!

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!


My name is Paul Weissburg and I'll be your host as we journey together into the wonderful world of comic-book mayhem...


----------------------------------

Today we ponder that timeless question: Is it possible to be tired of a mega-comic-book-crossover-event before having read a single issue of it?


And the answer is... yes. Yes, it is.



Exhibit A: Secret Invasion.

I generally like Bendis' writing quite a lot and so when I first heard about this whole Secret Invasion thing, I was pretty psyched to read it...


Here we are, thought, just a few months later and I'm thoroughly sick of Secret Invasion without having actually read a single issue of it (still waiting to receive issue #1 in the mail)...


Why? Well, let's take a look at what's coming out in July 2008, in addition to the actual Secret Invasion limited series...


MIGHTY AVENGERS #16

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! ELEKTRA IS A SKRULL!! Words that have echoed through Marvel Comics for the last two years. But how did this happen and for how long has this been true? THE ANSWER IS HERE!




NEW AVENGERS #43

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN! SPIDER-MAN VERSUS CAPTAIN AMERICA IN THE JUNGLES OF THE SAVAGE LAND! But who is who and what is what?? At least one of these people isn't who they say they are. Plus a huge chapter in the Secret Invasion story as more information as to how the Skrulls set their major plans in motion is revealed...



AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE #15

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"The Only Good Skrull..."With the NEW AVENGERS and the MIGHTY AVENGERS trapped in the Savage Land, it's up to the AVENGERS INITIATIVE to face off against the first major strike of the Skrull Invasion! There, on the field of battle, the cadet with the biggest secret has to choose how red (or green) his blood really is. Heroes will fall. Heroes will die. And one shall rise.



SECRET INVASION: FRONT LINE #1 (of 5)

Skrull warships fill the skies, and heroes battle for their very survival in the Savage Land, the citizens of New York struggle to survive the worst day of their lives. Brian Reed (CAPTAIN MARVEL) and Marco Castiello bring you a stunning ground-level look at Secret Invasion!



SECRET INVASION: RUNAWAYS/YOUNG AVENGERS #2 (of 3)



SECRET INVASION: FANTASTIC FOUR #3 (of 3)



BLACK PANTHER #39

“SEE WAKANDA, AND DIE,” PART 13-part tie-in to “Secret Invasion,” written by guest-writer Jason Aaron (WOLVERINE)!When the Skrulls come to town, it's all-out war in Wakanda. The alien invaders have war ships, advanced technology, super-powered soldiers and an army that outnumbers the Wakandans ten to one. Cake walk, right? Think again. There’s a reason Wakanda had never been conquered – and the Skrulls are about to find out why…the hard way.



CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #3

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN, PART 3 (of 4)It’s Science Fiction versus Fantasy as the war machines of the unstoppable Skrull army invade the magical realm of Avalon. Can Pete Wisdom and the rest of MI 13 keep the Skrulls from taking control of the world’s magic? And what is Spitfire doing to that Skrull on the cover?



INCREDIBLE HERCULES #119

SECRET INVASION TIE-IN!"SACRED INVASION" takes a shocking turn! Betrayed by one of their own, their strategy in shambles, Hercules and the God Squad find themselves marooned on a hostile world with countless hordes of alien slave-deities between them and their final goal of the Skrull pantheon!




SECRET INVASION #1 DIRECTOR’S CUT

Go behind the scenes of the event that will change the Marvel Universe forever! The shape-shifting alien race known as the Skrulls has secretly infiltrated every super-powered organization on Earth with one goal: full-scale invasion! Now, get closer to the action than ever before! This bonus edition reprints SECRET INVASION #1 in its entirety – plus the SECRET INVASION PROLOGUE, previously available only online, and other choice extras!



MS. MARVEL #29

SECRET INVASION continues here! Intergalactic war comes to the streets of Manhattan! As Ms. Marvel stands alone before the Skrull invasion, she must find the warrior within and stop an army of invincible killers!



THUNDERBOLTS #122

SECRET INVASION strikes Thunderbolts Mountain as Captain Marvel attacks!



NEW WARRIORS #14

The first chapter of a two-part SECRET INVASION story!Skrulls. Shape-changing aliens who have invaded Earth. Impersonating and replacing your friends and family. Maybe even taking the place of a brother. When an army of Skrulls arrives in Manhattan, Donyell Taylor asks: Was the Night Thrasher who died in Stamford, Connecticut really his brother? Or could it have been a Skrull?



X-FACTOR #33

Secret Invasion tie-in!



SHE-HULK #31

SECRET INVASION tie-in and X-FACTOR crossover issue! It’s double the trouble as our gamma-ray glamazon finds herself on a collision course with the mystery-solving X-Factor and hip-deep in the Skrull infestation! What does She-Hulk’s partner Jazinda – who just happens to be a Skrull – know about the invasion…and is she part of it?



SKRULLS! ONE-SHOT

Ever since the dawning of the Marvel Age of heroes, the Skrulls have been known as scheming, conniving, insidious interlopers in the affairs not just of Earth, but the whole universe. Now, get the Skrulls' side of the story! Who are they, what drives them, and what are their ultimate goals? Who are their heroes, and who are their villains? And what will become of their clash between religion and modernity - manifest in their relentless pursuit of the Earth as the final prize - when it spills over into universal mayhem? SKRULLS! helps answer these questions and gives you the clues to ask even more! Featuring detailed information about the full expanse of Skrull history – including biographical data of classic Skrulls through the ages, reprints of key moments from Skrull history and original material that will help form a deeper understanding of the Skrull race...all from a Skrull perspective. SKRULLS! is 64 pages and no ads full of shape-shifting secrets!



SKRULLS VS. POWER PACK #1 (of 4)


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Phew.

That's 18 titles in July that feature the frickin' frackin' Skrulls and their frickin' frackin' Secret Invasion of Earth.


Who needs that many comics about the Skrulls??? Seriously. Who does?


And that's just in one month!!! I also keep coming across articles about upcoming Skrull-related series and storylines... take a look...

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As announced by Marvel Comics at New York Comic Con this weekend, Brian Reed will be writing Secret Invasion: Spider-Man, a three-issue mini-series starting in August that focuses on how the cast of Amazing Spider-Man's "Brand New Day" is dealing with the onslaught of Skrulls.Reed isn't new to Skrull stories, having just wrapped up the Skrull-filled Captain Marvel mini-series and writing tie-ins for his Ms. Marvel ongoing, as well as being named as the writer of the upcoming Secret Invasion: Front Line mini-series.

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In ancient times people used to fear the sound of thunder believing that it indicated that the gods were mad at them. This summer, the Skrull invaders targeting Earth will have good reason to fear themselves, because it will mean that an angry god is coming after them. CBR News spoke with Marvel Comics editor Warren Simons about the three issue "Secret Invasion: Thor" mini-series which kicks off in August.

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The Skrulls have seen some horrific things, from Galactus devouring their home world to years later witnessing the forces of the Annihilation Wave decimate much of the Skrull Empire. But this September, they'll know true horror when they run afoul of an unkillable man who just won't shut up! God help the Marvel Universe, because Deadpool AKA Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth, is back in a new ongoing series and he's going to play a key role "Secret Invasion." CBR News spoke with writer Daniel Way about his plans for "Deadpool."

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Marvel’s newest character, Kinsey, made her debut in a live-action MySpace video, in which it was revealed her brother’s a Skrull! Her adventures continue in the free web comic, “Secret Invasion: Home Invasion.”

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I know it seems like maybe I made up that last one to be funny (Their newest character is named Kinsey? And she made her debut in a live-action MySpace video???) but, no, that's a real thing and not an example of my razor-sharp wit.

At any rate, we're not even halfway throught the whole Secret Invasion storyline, which is going to be running all the way through November, and already I feel completely overwhelmed by the whole thing.

It's simply too much.

Incidentally, of the 18 Secret Invasion tie-ins that will be coming out in July 2008, I will be purchasing exactly one of them. And that one, of course, is The Incredible Hercules, which I enjoy so much that I am going to pick it up despite the Skrully-ness of the storyline.

Don't let me down, Herc!

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On the more positive side, here are some upcoming Marvel titles that I think look just swell and that appear to have nothing at all to do with Skrulls...

MARVEL ADVENTURES SUPER HEROES #1
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by ALVIN LEE
Cover by ROGER CRUZ
It’s probably a bad sign when Hercules comes asking for a favor. It’s juuuuuust a little job that needs doing, but this is Hercules; isn’t he supposed to be REALLY good at doing labors himself? Before they know it, Iron Man, Spider-Man and the Hulk are stuck looking after Orthus and Cerberus, the two legendary hounds of the underworld! Luckily, the dogs learn to behave after chewing up only a few cars, a statue, and Iron Man, and finally they’re obedient enough for the Metro Dog Show! Only problem, Hercules wants the dogs back. Oh no, Herc, not before the Hulk gets his ribbon! It’s two dogs with five heads between them, and all the action you can handle.
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99

See? Now doesn't that sound nice? And look... no Skrulls!


Meanwhile, here's my favorite cover out of all the Marvel solicitations for July 2008...

I think that's pretty damn cool.



MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #13
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by JUAN ROMANCANO SANTACRUZ
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Hulk and his traveling buddies (fun-loving teen, Rick Jones androllicking monkey, Monkey) have returned to New York City to find something amiss… all the super heroes have been transformed into ravenous, stumbling monsters! But can even the strength of the Hulk stand up to the unstoppable… MARVEL MUMMIES?!? Fan-fave Hulk creator Peter David comes to Marvel Adventures Hulk with unlucky issue 13, bringing our most mummified issue ever!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


And then there's this...


MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #41
Written by MARC SUMERAK
Penciled by RYAN STEGMAN
Cover by SEAN GORDON MURPHY

Start your engines, Spider-Fans, because Peter Parker is about to hit the highway on one of the most exciting adventures of his young life -- Midtown High's Driver's Ed course! But the road to four-wheeled freedom becomes bumpy when the monstrous Man-Bull stampedes through the city streets! It's high-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


"High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Now THAT's what I want to read after a long day of banging my head against my frickin' frackin' dissertation... I don't want to read a magnus opus about the goddam Skrulls fighting Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel and the Fantastic Four and Power Pack and Deadpool and Thor and... and... and KINSEY!!! I don't want to read the past four years of Avengers stories rewritten from the perspective of the Skrull infiltrators...

What I want to read is, I want to read "High-octane hijinks at the speed of Spidey!"

Is that so much to ask?

Meanwhile, Jeff Parker's glorious return to Marvel Adventures: The Avengers continues with...

MARVEL ADVENTURES THE AVENGERS #26
Written by JEFF PARKER
Penciled by IG GUARA
Cover by LEONARD KIRK

It's the bottom of the ninth, the Avengers are down by two, two strikes down and bases loaded. The stakes for the Cosmic Pennant have never been higher. How will Galactus call this one? Okay... we admit. We have no idea what's going on in this story. Kirk drew the cover, and now Parker has to come up with something. THAT'S GOOD COMICS!!!
32 PGS./All Ages …$2.99


Yes.

Yes it is.


Anyway, I've gotta wrap this up for now, but before we go I wanted to direct your attention to another title coming from Marvel in July 2008 that I am VERY enthused about... and, no, it's not another Marvel Adventures all-ages title.

Check out the following, taken from a comicbookresources article...

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Stranger Than Fiction: Cornell on “Fantastic Four: True Story”

by Dave Richards, Staff Writer

There’s nothing more satisfying that just diving into a good book. This July, the First Family of Marvel Comics will do literally just that in the pages of the four-issue miniseries, “Fantastic Four: True Story,” by writer Paul Cornell (“Wisdom,” “Captain Britain and MI:13”) and artist Horacio Dominguez. CBR News spoke with Cornell about the series, which depicts the FF rubbing elbows with some of literature’s most legendary characters.

“True Story” begins with the Fantastic Four noticing a great sadness seems to have settled upon the world’s population. “Sue realizes it's got something to do with the way people interact with story. Nobody's reading anymore. Nobody's going to the movies. It's as if something bad has got into fiction,” Cornell explained. “So Reed has to invent an entire new field of human endeavor: it'll take him a few minutes and he'll need a screwdriver. This is the one where the FF ventures into fiction itself. And it's a bit like ‘Fables’ too. And I'm sure Neil Gaiman's done something with this as well, indeed. Listen, it's *Reed* that's got to invent a whole new field, not me!”

In “True Story,” the Fantastic Four visit and band together the forces of some of literature's most famous worlds to fight a bigger threat. Said Cornell, “It's swashbuckling, it's huge, it's great big galumphing *fun*, but also, gradually, these serious notes start to emerge, because there's stuff in fiction that you really wouldn't want to start having applied to you.”

He continued, “One of the lovely things about this story for me is that I get to play with these characters I love by having them interact with other characters I love. Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’ But it isn't like a school classics book, this is rollocking fun. Is that a word? And I get to comment on the relationships amongst the FF using the literary characters. Lots of jokes. Lots of cool set pieces. Extraordinary literary violence.”

For obvious reasons, the FF will only get a chance to traverse the worlds of literature’s most enduring works. “Something prevents them from visiting the more recent worlds, a barrier which cuts off about seventy five years after the death of the authors in question. No, I'm not being flippant, that limitation about copyright is very much part of the story,” Cornell said.

Among the public domain characters seen in “True Story” is Dante, the writer and narrator of “The Divine Comedy.” “[He’s] their guide in the world of fiction, and continually annoyed at being so,” Cornell said. “We crash through the walls of ‘Ivanhoe’, ‘Wind in the Willows’, and see, ahem, Dracula vs. Frankenstein! Literally. And many more, as they say.”

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"Ben Grimm amongst the Dashwood sisters from ‘Sense and Sensibility.’"

Is there any way in the entire world that that is NOT going to be awesome???

I don't think so, really.

So, there you have it... I may be thoroughly Skrulled out, but I still love ya, Marvel Comics. You're still my drug dealer of choice!!!

[There, there... I like you too, DC. You just need to cut the crap with all your Crisis continuity-incest and stop butchering all my favorite characters...]

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As we bring this column to a close, I'd like to direct your attention to something rather remarkable that I stumbled upon earlier today. This is a blog by a comic-book reviewer, Greg Burgas, but it's nothing to do with comics. This is a blog that he's writing about his daughter, Mia, who was badly injured in a car wreck five years ago. This first paragraph will give a good sense of what this is without committing you to anything...

Today in 2003 I was in a car accident. Unfortunately, my daughter was in the back seat with me. Yes, it's the five-year anniversary of the event that changed our lives. As I do every year, I want to focus more on her progress rather than worrying about the event itself. It's just shocking to me that it's actually been five years.

That sounds like it would be incredibly depressing, I know, but that wasn't really how it felt. It's a tragic situation, yes, but... I don't know... the honesty with which he wrote about what's going on and how he and his wife deal with it... I just found it very touching, not in the schmaltzy Hallmark Card kind of way, but in a real way. Reading his brief column seemed like the "real"-est five minutes of my whole day.

Anyway, here's the link... and here's another one titled "Therapists and their motives" that I also found very thought-provoking. And, no, it's not some diatribe or conspiracy theory about therapists... it's just some musing about why the various physical and psychological therapists that are looking after his daughter sometimes seem to have conflicting goals... I thought it was pretty interesting.

At any rate... here's hoping that you are having a wonderful mid-April and that you managed to get outside and enjoy the BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL weather today... it was a lovely day and I'm feeling mighty grateful that summer is--finally!--here.

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 7: Where have all the Hooplas gone...?

Dearest Hoopla! reader...

You are, perhaps, wondering of late, "Where's my Hoopla!? Is there nothing in this frackin' world that I can depend on?"

Well, I'll tell ya...

The problem, as I see it, is that someone recently turned up the speed on the day-making machine. Used to be that I'd wake up, have some leisurely breakfast and coffee, putz around my apartment for an hour or two, shower, then head off to school to work on my dissertation or to teach or whatever... I'd work from around 1pm to maybe 5 or 6pm, come home for a quick dinner, go back to school and work some more until around 10 or 11pm, at which time I'd come home, watch a Netflix movie or show, and go to bed.

That gave me almost 10 hours of "sitting in the office" time, which made it relatively feasible to put out a regular column...

Now, however, things have changed...

Now, my days look like this...

Wake up, drink some coffee and, until about a week ago, eat some breakfast (I've got some wacky stomach virus that makes eating a very non-rewarding act... good news, I'm losing weight... bad news, there are maybe three food items I can actually digest: potatoes, white rice, and bread... and I"m getting pretty darn tired of all of 'em...)

But I digress.

Wake up, drink coffee, go to the office around noon or 1pm, then turn around and realize the day is over.

What's up with that???

A part of it, certainly, is teaching classes... it's very fun and very rewarding, but it does take up a bit of time...

Also, there's the ever-looming dissertation... I'm trying to have it finished by the end of the summer, which is a pretty ambitious schedule... particularly since I had a two-month case of Writer's Block which set me back substantially... I'm finally getting back on track, but I've got a LOT of catching up to do...

But DO bear with me, oh sweetest of all Hoopla! readers... I have not forgotten you... nor have I forgotten the way your hair smells or the sparkle in your eye... that little noise you make when you're chewing food... the one hair that dangles from within your nostril, oh so coyly...

I have not forgotten you and I shall not forsake you.

Hoopla! will be back... and - Lo! - it shall be like a mighty river... pouring through your living room and dampening your carpets... extinguishing the comic-book-review-craving fire that burns within you like a ... like a thing that burns... ferociously... yet which is not in any way related to any sort of sexual disease...

Hoopla! shall return, full of reviews and good humor... and once more we shall laugh and cry together as we ponder the imponderables together...

Don't lose hope, Dear Reader! The best is yet to come...


- Paul, 4:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, hungry for a potato