Hoopla! - Episode 48: In which we say farewell to 2007...

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

So, here's the deal...

I have a computer at home, but it pretty much sucks... if you ask it to do anything more complicated than send an email, it pretty much goes into shock and the whole thing crashes. Which sucks. So, when I'm working on Hoopla!, I use the computer at my office, which isn't actually my office but the guy I work for doesn't use it, so he's sort of lent it to me for the past several years...

You may be wondering, "Why is this guy telling me about his stupid computer and his office that isn't really his office?"

Well, the reason is this... on Friday afternoon (the 21 of December, that is) the GMU building shuts down and does not reopen until January 2. And my-office-that-isn't-my-office is inside that building. So, that means that there's pretty much no way for me to do Hoopla! again until after the new year starts.

So...

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all (both?) of you for reading this and to extra-especially thank those of you who took the time to write to me... it's much appreciated.

In an ideal world, I'd have the time and energy to put together some kind of "Best of 2007" list that would be the very height of hilarity and yet would also serve as a heart-felt tribute to all the fine, fine comics that have been published in the past year...

Such a list would have undoubtedly included Jeff Parker's Marvel Adventures: The Avengers, The Irredeemable Ant-Man, Civil War (I know, I know.. the critics all panned it. Too bad. I thought it was fantastic and that it served to make the Marvel Universe a MUCH more interesting place...), Ultimate Spider-Man, Proof, Agents of Atlas, Doctor Strange: The Oath, Immortal Iron Fist (and yes, I find it somewhat remarkable that an Iron Fist series is in my best of 2007 list, but there you go...), Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, New Avengers: Illuminati, Silent War, Runaways (particularly the last few Vaughan issues), Nova, Godland (Even though it's kind of petered out these past few months), All-Star Superman, World War Hulk (Hey, it was action-packed fluff, sure, but it was damn good action-packed fluff!), M.O.D.O.K.'s 11, The Deadpool/GLI - Summer Fun Spectacular, the final issues of 52 (except for those crappy World War III issues that all came out on the same week), The Brave and the Bold, Justice Society of America (especially the current Kingdom Come storyline), and probably a bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now.

Perhaps I would have indulged in some sort of "Best Writer of 2007" kind of thing... and, no doubt, the winner of that would have finally, ultimately, inevitably been Jeff Parker.

Because he's awesome.

[For what it's worth, I think I'd have to give second place to Brian K. Vaughan who, in 2007, wrote the kick-ass Doctor Strange limited series, finished his superb run on Runaways, has almost finished a four-part Faith story in Buffy, the Vampire Slayer that actually surpasses the arc written by Whedon, and helped get the Lost TV series back on track. Now that's what I call a productive year!]

I would also, no doubt, have taken the time to single out some of the very worst comics to come out in 2007. Such a list would have been dominated by Countdown and all its many cross-overs, but I would have taken the time to also ridicule the Spider-Man: One More Day storyline, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive and the whole misguided killing off of Bart Allen, Amazons Attack, and possibly a few others that I have, through the grace of God, been fortunate enough to erase from my memory.

Biggest disappointment... Grant Morrison on Batman. It really should have been amazing and yet, it's really, really not. And it took me way too many issues to admit it to myself.

I was in Grant Morrison denial, I'm afraid.

The other biggest disappointment of 2007 was the big Wildstorm debut of Authority (Grant Morrison! Gene Ha!), WildCats, etc. What a fiasco that was!

And, too, let us not forget Dwayne McDuffie's debut on Justice League of America. I was totally psyched for that... but I've had to drop it after just a couple of issues because it is so very, very bad.

Perhaps such a column, had I the time to do it right, would also feature some of my favorite covers from 2007, interspersed throughout.

And, no doubt, I would have taken a paragraph or two to bitch and moan about the current direction imposed upon the vast majority of DC's titles, almost all of which are bogged down in continuity-incest of the very worst kind, and almost all of which continue to rely on the deaths of b-list characters in a very jaded attempt to maintain interest in their fictional universe.

I could try to make some funny ha-ha's about Dan Didio and the damage he's done to the DC universe, but the truth is, it's gotten to the point where it's not even a little bit funny to me.

It's just offensive.

All told, I'd say it's been a great year for comics... sure, there's been lots of dreck, but I can' t think of a year since I first started collecting comics when you couldn't make a compelling case that an all-time peak had been reached for truly awful comics...

But the good stuff... Yum.

There was lots and lots of good stuff.

On a more personal note, 2007 was an outstanding year for me... I've made a ton of progress on my dissertation and will hopefully be finished by the end of next summer... plus, I got to spend lots of time with friends this year, doing fun stuff like travelling to Florida and drinking lots and lots of yummy alcoholic beverages...

The biggest event for me in 2007, however, was issue #247 of my life, which featured the debut of a brand-new character... Mie.

We've been together for just about a year, now, as our first date was on or around January 4, 2007... and she'll be moving in with me at the end of December. So, that's pretty cool.

When I think back to her original appearance, she was drawn slightly differently and the writer hadn't quite gotten her dialogue style right... but from the very start I knew that I wanted to, someday, have my own prestige format limited series with her.

That's my humble little dream, anyway...

So, here's hoping that 2007 was good to you and that 2008 will be even better... the world seems to be a tad bit more f*cked up than usual, at the moment, but I am hopeful that better times are ahead for all of us...

Best wishes to you all and I'll see you on the other side of the New Year!!!

- Paul

Hoopla! - Episode 42: Strange News

Hello and welcome to Hoopla!

Normally I use this space to review comics and such and so forth, but there's been so much comic-book related news lately that I thought I'd devote this column to reprinting some of the week's biggest stories.

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Frank "Goddam" Miller to. Issue Challenge. To. Osama bin Laden. And. All Iraqi Insurgents.

"I will dress up in a Spartan toga, grease my body up with oil, and single-handedly pummel them all to death. With. My. Bare. Fists."

Frank Miller surprised and delighted fans by releasing a personal challenge to Osama bin Laden last Friday on YouTube.

"American Flag draping down," the message began. "Heavy with the blood of innocents. Give me a Red."

"You killed our boys. Our children. Our soul." The message continued. "But I will. Beat. You. With. My. Bare. Hands. And then I will. Dine. In. Hell."

Comic-book writer and illustrator Frank Miller had made news earlier in the year by announcing that his next Batman graphic novel will pit the Caped Crusader against al-Qaeda international terrorist Osama bin Laden. Titled Holy Terror, Batman!, the project is scheduled for release by DC Comics sometime this year. In it, Miller said, “Batman kicks al-Qaeda’s ass.”

In his latest foray into political commentary, however, Frank Miller has promised to take on all of al-Qaeda himself, while dressed in a Roman toga.

According to reliable sources, Osama bin Laden has not yet responded.

Dan Didio Announces Upcoming Plans for Archie Comics



"Fans of Jughead and Veronica should brace themselves for some dark days ahead..."

Fans of Archie Comics were surprised last week to learn that Dan Didio has been brought in as the new editor-in-chief for Archie.

"Archie is an American institution," said Didio. "And I respect that. But sales have been slipping over the past several years. And the Powers That Be decided what was needed was a major shake-up. And that's where I came in."

Didio refused to reveal all of the upcoming surprises, but did provide these spoilers:

"I wouldn't dream of killing off Jughead. He's too important to the Archie Universe. But he might find it difficult to stuff his face with hamburgers after his arms have been torn from his body by Moose."

A picture of Jughead with cybernetic arms and steel, razor-sharp claws was posted on Didio.com for a few hours but then hastily pulled.

"Let's just say that readers are going to see a side of Jughead that they've never seen before," chortled Didio.

Other upcoming events include a major crossover that will directly involve all of the Archie titles and several characters that haven't been seen in a very long time.

"If you think about it," said Didio, "Archie and his pals should be in their 90s by now. But they're not. They're still teens in high school. How is that possible? Well, let's just say that after our first major crossover, Archie-Ocaplypse, readers will learn the horrible truth."

Archie-Ocalypse will apparently run through the second half of 2008, all of 2009, and then will finish in 2010, leading directly into the next major cross-over "Archie-cide."

"I don't want to give too much away about Archie-cide, but suffice it to say that we're going to be introducing a new character, Holocaust Survivor, and he's got a bone to pick with Archie and his friends."

That cross-over will tie directly into a new weekly Archie series that will tie into all of the other Archie comics plus will also tie into all DC comics and several upcoming issues of Loony Tunes.

"I've promised not to reveal too much about this new weekly series, because it's not actually going to come out until 2012, but readers should prepare themselves for some continuity-driven story-telling. Old continuity gaffs will be addressed and resolved, while others will be created."

Didio also revealed that, in addition to tying into all of the Archie comics, all of the DC comics, and several issues of Loony Tunes, Archie Publishing is currently in talks with several weekly news magazines, including Newsweek and the Economist, to tie into actual world events as they occur in real time.

"This is a very exciting time for Archie," Didio announced. "Nothing like this has ever been done before. Obviously, there will be many challenges in tying into real world current events as they happen, but I think readers are going to be delighted with the results! In particular, I'm hoping that the US is involved in some kind of war around 2013 because we have a really great idea that's being tossed around about Archie and his pals being recruited and winding up in some war-torn country. Maybe in the Middle East, I'm hoping. Or North Korea."

Marvel Announces New, Weekly Series to be Written by Heinberg with Art by Rob Liefeld

"We've already got the first six pages finished and the script is half-finished for page 7 of first issue. And one of three variant covers that we'll be providing for the first issue is in rough-sketch form. And let me tell you, it looks great!"

No additional information was available.

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Well, that's all the news that's fit to print, as the kids like to say. I hope you're all having a lovely October and dressing warmly and being nice to each other and flossing regularly.

Until next week...

- Paul